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Thread: "barf city"

  1. #1
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    So I was sitting on the couch relaxing and I was eating some mini m&ms and my mom says, "Uhh. I'm in barf city." I kne what she said but I said, "Bark city?" just to see if she realized what she said. And again she said, "Barf city." And I asked why and she says, "Drank too much water." How rude is she to say that in front of her daughter when she knows I'm an emet? I was extremely hurt.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mystikal star
    So I was sitting on the couch relaxing and I was eating some mini m&ms and my mom says, "Uhh. I'm in barf city." I kne what she said but I said, "Bark city?" just to see if she realized what she said. And again she said, "Barf city." And I asked why and she says, "Drank too much water." How rude is she to say that in front of her daughter when she knows I'm an emet? I was extremely hurt.

    GOODNESS!!!!! [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]That wasreally insensitive on your mother's part!!! Knowing you have this phobia and then still saying that to you while you were eating too????!!!!! I'm sorry that happened!!


    This reminds me of a lot of things my parents say. For example, I'll say I feelill, and they will hold out their hands (my dad especially) and say: "Right here" or they will say: "Tell me something I don't know" or "Get over yourself" or "What else is new?" Then, my dad will joke around with me because he'll say he feels bad, and I will ask if he feels like he is going to be sick...and he says yes, "I was sick 5 times, and I think I'll be sick again." Whenmy mom tells he is joking and really has a cold.They pull my leg alot and say things like: "You have to live in this world, and you have to be strong." I don't think that insensitive comments and pure ignorance make you stronger, do they?


    Anyway, I feel for you Ashley, I do.


    Non-emets really piss me off...[img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]


    I don't think they really know how much their comments and things affect us.
    *~NEHA~*
    Smile & God Bless!!!
    The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself- Franklin Delano Roosevelt


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  3. #3
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    just musing today (I've spent the whole weekend with some Buddhists in meditation - lol...) anyway...


    I wonder what kind of parental attitude really would work best with an emet child? On the one hand, what you describe sounds terribly insensitive and would lead a person to get worse, I'd think. On the other extreme there was a post here a while back by a young emet who suffered TERRIBLY and her parents doded after her like crazy - her mom sat outside the school all day in the car in case she felt sick, and let her take the mom's car keys to class. Y'all might remember that she was institutionalized for a weekend, but the dad came and "rescued her". Now she just seemed to get worse and worse.


    So it seems like we'd want parents to care, but not to "rescue" too much. At least not focus on the emet child too much - that seems to make it worse also.


    I think family systems is a contributing factor (in a lot of different ways) to emet and other anxiety disorders anyway...in a "perfect" family (and there aren't any ABSOLUTELY perfect) even a traumatized child, or one withgenetic factorswould not develop a phobia. This is why the same event results in phobias in some children, not others.


    Who knows? Just musing....
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  4. #4
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    I think I'd just like my parents to understand. I don't want them to always
    be asking me how I feel or anything, but I hate how they don't even try to
    understand what I'm going through. My family saus the same things that
    Neha's family saus to her. "Get over it. Everyone gets sick." and the classic
    "It's not the end of the world". On Christmas Eve, I came home from work
    with a fever of 101. Actually, it could have been higher, but I took the
    thermometer out of my mouth cause I was so freaked. I had eaten some
    lasagna just before, so I was terrified of throwing up. I went upstairs and
    told my parents, but they just said it was all in my head. I even started
    crying, but that made it worse. My whole family was laughing at me. For
    me, it's scarier not having someone there, who understands what I'm
    going through. Even someone who doesn't understand, but tries to,
    would be nice.
    That's why I like it here. It's like the understanding family I never had.
    <font face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\"><font size=\"2\">Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.</font>
    —Seneca</font>

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    Sorry, that post was all about me. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]
    Mystikal: that really was inconsiderate of your mom to say. have you
    talked to her about it? sometimes that helps Edited by: rock_on
    <font face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\"><font size=\"2\">Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.</font>
    —Seneca</font>

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    about parents... i would just like my parents to understand as well.


    my dad still randomly walks around the house making sick noises wen ever he wants, lke he used to, and he konws even a cough makes me flinch.


    i wudnt want them to molly-coddle me, if u see what i mean, because 1.) it wud be EXTREMELY un-natural and 2.) sage is right, i dont think helps at all.


    but i think, to have somenoe ther to hug you, wen u feel ill is just what we need. i dont even have tht


    Jen xxxx
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    Thrilling, thats really not cool at all man... my parents always tell me that its all in my head and I "over-exagerate" when its not really in my full control. I'm still nervous about going back to that class that the girl v*d in.. AHHHHHHH! But I'll be fine.. I'm pretty sure anyway. Cept I can't figure this stupid web page that Im making.. [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]
    <font face=\"Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif\">Silent is my loudest cry, wouldn\'t want to wake the eyes that make me melt inside...

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    ☼Salem☼</font>
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    I think we have to realize something...we are the people with the problems..and we shouldnt expect people to just change their ways and not do anything that would upset us.


    Now..If a parent or whoever is completely rude and mean ..and doesnt even try to understand where we are comming from..then thats not cool..but its another to expect our friends and family to tippy toe around us..not using terms like "barf city" or "oh I feel so sik" or when they get grossed out and say "oh im gonna hurl" or whatever..its really not fair to them.


    We are the ones with the problem and we need to work on dealing with it. If we all expected (and succeded) in getting our friends and family to tippy-toe around us we will never make any progress.


    Im not trying to be mean..or make anyone mad..I think we really need to realize that the average person isnt effected by these terms and we cant expect the people around us tothink about every term that comes out of their mouth. being expsoed to these terms will eventually have a postive efect on us..we will realize that people are just joking..and we will realize that to msot everyone V* is not a big deal..and perhaps because of that we will see that it shouldnt be such a big deal to use!


    All in all..if people are using the terms loosly..try and take in in stride and think of it as a little exposure therapy!


    And now I\'m glad I didn\'t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
    But I\'d of had to miss the dance
    Garth Brooks

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    kmarie, I agree with you 100%.
    ~*Jill*~ Teacher, Advanced BSc in Psychology

    "You can unlock any door as long as you have the right key". Mrs. Brisby, Secret of Nimh

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    kmarie i hear what ur saying, and indeed yes i understand it....


    altho, i stil think its a little insensitive to do things lke say " right here" wen u say u feel sick or make sick noises around the house to actually MAKE FUN of someone! this phobia isnt our fault, and to be teased about it, is even worse!


    yes, i agree, its hard to expect someone to completely change just to suit an emet, but its not hard to try and just be aware that we're extra sensitive to nething to do with v*.


    as u said, i dont wanna make u mad, or nething. i do agree to some of what u say!


    Jen xxxx
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  11. #11
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    I agree...no one has the right to make fun of us...at all..thats completly not right at all!


    and yes..it is cool is someone does realize that we are really sensitive and that try hard to not mention V* related stuff around us.


    I just dont agree with those who thing all non-emets should have to watch everything they say around us...thats all...anyone who teases..or doesnt try to udnerstand..and is mean (in an intentinal way) is just wrong..and mean..and they are the ones who need to change!
    And now I\'m glad I didn\'t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
    But I\'d of had to miss the dance
    Garth Brooks

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    i totally agree kmarie...i dont wanna any special treatment at all cuz i have a phobia...every1 has a hang up/phobia/slight fear and i wud hate to think ppl had to think b4 they speak around me...im sorry that ur moms comments upset u but in the real world (e.g. at work, on tv, on the bus) ppl r gunna use terms like barf, puke, vomit etc and i suppose we just have 2 learn 2 deal with it...

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    very often my friends will say something V* related, pause, and then look at me or apologise. That is the sweetest thing ever, but as i always say to them "Please dont censor yourself around me" My mum doesnt do it, i dont expect my friends too either. The more i hear that sort of talk the better it is for me actually.


    That said i do agree with you Jennah, people should at least try and be respectful sometimes and NO ONE should ever make fun of you for it. People cant always change to suit you, but you dont have to accept abuse either. They shouldnt go out of their way to upset you, lack of understanding is no excuse if people dont at least try.
    Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.

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    yeah i agree that no one shud make fun of it but i always try and treat it in a light hearted way neway like joke about it and the things i do because of the phobia...but if someone teased me and started like tryin 2 gross me out id just wack me one lol[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

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    my friends always TALK about v* infront of me, but what was nice was that my friend was showing us a film she was in, in which she had to v* and she made sure i knew wen it was coming up so i cud turn away... cos tht really wudda set off a panic attack for me!


    other than that, the words are always used around me, and it actually doesnt bother me at all. i only write v* the way i do because im aware it might casue panic in someone else.





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    I have to play devil's advocate here:


    We should also try to think about how hard it might be for someone who has no fears to understand how we could get ourselves so worked up about something that is trivial to them. It's very easy for us, as a group, to say,"yeah, damn those non-emets for being so insensitive," andLord knows I've said it too.And I'm not saying that their ignorance on the subject makes it right for them to tease and poke fun at us - but they really have no clue what it's like.


    For instance, I had to use an analogy to get my own boyfriend to understand how I feel about v*ing.He has a very, very small fear of heights, and I used that to explain - I told him to imagine how he feels standing on top of a skyscraper, and then multiply it by 100.Then, and only then, did he understand. My mother, on the other hand, didn't want to believe that I had a problem - not because she didn'tthink it was possible, but because it was easier. So, she attributed it to me being emotional and dramatic, and tossed it aside. This was doubly confusing for me, since she has an extremely bad phobia of being in water and not being able to touch the ground - I thought, out of all people, she'd understand. I used that, in combination with the diagnosis from my psychologist, to explain my problem to her.


    I guess you could say I was lucky in my situations, because some people ARE extremely close-minded, and won't believe us until we're in a mental institution. The important thing, at least to me, is to find people that youCAN relate to, and that WILL offer you empathy. My advice is, have friends. Lots of them. Use this site as an outlet. See a social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, school guidance counselor. Whatever it takes.If you keep trying to draw water from a dry well, you'll be thirsty AND tired. Sometimes family won't help.


    ~Rebeccah
    Love is the only rational act.

  17. #17
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    I think im one of the few emets that really isnt bothered by V talk all that much. Sure I dont really think anyone wants to hear about your night of drinking gone bad for instance, but it doesnt bother me - thats they're experience and not mine.


    I think they just try to joke about it with us, maybe tease to try to make it a lighter topic around us. like my dad, for instance, will joke with me and say "Oh i wouldn't eat that" when i question food. Just to get me to see thats its not really a big deal, and he laughs. i usually just roll my eyes and eat it anyways. haha.


    see if it was sucha hush hush subject, I think i would be even more afraid of it. but the reailty is its all around me and even though i have a strong stomach others don't.
    ~*Jill*~ Teacher, Advanced BSc in Psychology

    "You can unlock any door as long as you have the right key". Mrs. Brisby, Secret of Nimh

 

 

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