Not full success, but a small step!

[jaytheviking]

So, I think I've got yet another kidney infection - which makes me n* beyond belief.

The doctor finally gave me Zofran to help me cope until they can cure these for good. I felt really s* tonight, took some, and within half an hour felt great.

A few minutes ago I was sitting here and suddenly felt as though v* came into my mouth. No warning, no n*, nothing. I jumped up instinctively...of course I was horrified and scared thinking it was coming.

It didn't. But I realized - if I v* right there and then as soon as I felt something in my throat, I would have been ok. I could have handled it. It was the point AFTER, when I had time to think "omg, it's coming."

I think a big part of my fear is losing control of my body, if only for 15 seconds. Anticipating that something beyond my control could take over everything.

Doesn't help me if I get really n* again, I'll still freak out, but I think this is real progress, if only a small step! Really wanted to share with people.

[jaytheviking]

Plus, I can like...hopefully remind myself when I do feel extremely n* that the actual event is not as bad as the anticipation and fear. I haven't v* since I was 7, so it's just incredibly horrifying and unknown to me. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[alwaysafraid]

Kidney infections are miserable. I had one earlier this year and I felt n* too, but never v*ed. Zofran works really well but it's an insanely expensive drug. You likely have a drug plan because you didn't mention the cost! I think it's about $10 a pill.

Good for you for maintaining your sanity when you suddenly felt so ill. I know the lack of control is what my emet is all about too. Truthfully we all will survive after a v* episode, we are just often worked up about what "might" happen. I know in the past when I actually did v* I've looked back thinking it was unpleasant but over quick and not as horrible as my worry.

Congratulations for hitting such a milestone with your fear. You should be proud of yourself for remaining so calm and in control. I hope you feel better soon.

[asianeko]

Congrats on coming to that realization!! The hardest thing to do is remember that feeling the next time you feel N*. It's just so scary to think of what could come, but the actual action isn't nearly as bad as we think it is.

I hope all is well with you soon, and keep up the good progress

[paulinek]

Well done! I suffer with kidney infections, although touch wood not had one for a while, they make you feel lousy don't they. Don't know what zofran is but i know i felt like i was going to be s* once cos i took an antibiotic on an empty stomach. Can't remember which ones they were but they'd given me a metallic taste in my mouth so wasn't hungry, but you really do need to force yourself to eat on antibiotics.

get well soon x

[jaytheviking]

The Zofran has been a miracle. I used it that night that I made this post, and
I used it after I did a barium swallow the other day which made me feel
really s*.

you are right, I have coverage which I feel so grateful for - as much as I fear
v* I would not be able to/want to pay that much for it.

The first kidney infection I had, I ate NOTHING. It was horrible because I just
ended up feeling a lot worse than I would've otherwise. The Zofran seems to
help with the appetite currently, thank goodness, because when I don't eat I
get a lot of anxiety about my health which certainly doesn't help.