EMDR

[lisa-maggs]

Hi everyone, i would love to talk to anyone who has sucsessfully used EMDR during CBT, my therapist wants to try it on me on thursday. I have done some research but would love to talk to people who experienced it [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[kellybeth]

I have never had it. I'm not even sure what it is. [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[lisa-maggs]

i supose the only way of describing it its kinda like re programing your brain, and trying to get the cause of the fear, you are in total control of your thoughts. its like getting into the rem state of your sleep when your brain does the most processing.

would you be offended by me asking you a little about yourself, how long you have been an emetophobe and what kind of things u do to control your fear

[kellybeth]

No of corse I wouldn't be offended.
I have had emetophopia for the last 20 years. I'm 32 years old now. My fear has gotten better then worse then better. It peaked when I was in my early 20's. I feel like I am the best now then I ever was but it is still a struggle.

As far as controling my fear, I dont feel like I am to good at that. I play video games or clean the house. Anything I can do to distract myself from feeling panic. I do still have panic attacks. Sometimes I just deal with them and go on with my day and other times I am paralized with fear and unable to do anything.

This is a terrible fear to have because it seems like you just can't get away from it.

By the way welcome to the site!!

[jwavrek]

Oh, So is EMDR a kind of hypnosis? I'll have to take a look at it. Anyway.. you look new. So.. welcome to the site! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[kristin1980]

I was supposed to do EMDR therapy but I ended up chickening out on it... and stopped going to the therapist all together. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]I ended up seeing another therapist who did strictly CBT and it helped a ton.

[lisa-maggs]

yeah i am new to this. I had my first panic attack at 13 which came before i v* one night. umm it was not all that bad until i had children nearly 5 years ago. The fear has been there and my panic would come from nowhere, mostly at night. I managed to have a pretty normal life, but woul always avoid sick people, going to hospitals, doctors, walking through town on a saturday night, walking past ally ways. Something triggered when i was in labour with my daughter. Luckly through both my pregnancies and births i did not v* once. as the years went on the fear got very severe, i developed ocd and last winter i shut myself in my house throughout the winter months because of the winter v* bug. My second child developed pyloric stenosis which caused her to projectile v* every single feed for 5 weeks. that was awfull. i could not hold her, touch her, and at one point i could not go near her. that caused me to hit rock bottom. Now im on alot of medication and recieving cbt but still very frightened of going to my daughters school. mind u i did go to parents evening last wednesday which was a huge achievement for me.

My friend went on line for me and found this forum which i am greatfull for because i have never met or spoken to another emetophobe. so thank you for making me feel welcome and sharing your story's with me.

[twigandfuzz]

Lisa Maggs

Do you mind me asking how you manage to care for your children? what do you do when you think they may be / are ill / could potentially be infectious to you?

My baby has GORD and vomited circa 35 times a day for the first 6 months of her life. (not infectious so I could force myself to deal with it) so I think you are amazing to have coped and to have two children.

[lisa-maggs]

no of course i dont. When my 2 year old was 3 weeks old she developed a condition called Pyloric Stenosis which caused her to projectile v* every single feed every single day until she was diagnosed when she was 8 weeks old. It was a complete nightmare for me. And even to this day i cant sleep in my bedroom because that is where she v* the most. this may sound very odd to u because it had two effects on me. It elevated my fear of v* massively but it also made me not frightened of her her v* because of the amount of exposure i had to her being ill. Im very very lucky because i have two people who are very close to me who help alot if my eldest is poorly. They will come if she v* and either stay with me until she is better or takes her to their home until it passes. I wont go anywhere near her if it cant be explained and i think i can catch it. It is horrible for her because im all she wants when she is poorly but she is old enough to understand my phobia. It is not the right way to deal with it because i am reliant on these people, and im absolutely petrified of being in my house on my own with my girls, and even more frightened that i will get a call from her school telling me i need to collect her because she has been sick. I guess i have a very good nhs therapist who is helping me overcome these fears. the trouble with our phobia is its unpredictable. You cant prepare yoursel for it because u never know when its going to happen, umm if u are not in CBT, i would talk to your health visitor/doctor about your fears i promise they wont judge you, i know exactly how hard it is talking to people about the v word. have u got a good suport network? i hope this helped u a little x x

[twigandfuzz]

thanks Lisa, that does help & no what you say does not sound weird at all, in fact I was exactly the same. Once I knew she was not infectious, after repeated exposure I did deal with it. I lived with my mum for a while after she was born (she was premie, 4llb and could not gain weight because she kept nothing down, she also has a rare kidney condition, which I sadly gave her - I have it - that causes dehydration if fluid intake is not sufficient) my HV & GP felt my views on her sickness were out of proportion due to my phobia and actually the lack of weight gain was due to my supposed reluctance to feed - I breast fed her for 90 mins every 120 mins for 3 months.....not sure how I could have fed her more anyway because I was so worried about her I took her to a private specialist who found the issues and after 6 months of weekly hospital treatment she stabilised. It did traumatise me the repeated sickness, but once I knew the cause and was safe from infection I went home. As my husband found it very difficult being away from her.

I think support makes it ''easier'', much as I can see you feel guilt for relying on others to care for your girls when sick, it has kept you able to be their mum. I know that I did everything to try and acheive that support... it just didn't work out.

I have done CBT, I did it for 5 yrs (including induced v)and sadly it just never helped..I have PTSD from it too and applying the CBT techniques just is never poss as I just don't get time.....

I don't have a support network at all, my mum lives on the other side of the country and is really the only one who has ever ''got'' me....so I am kind of isolated with it. My dr, GP, and HV just got social services in who just threatened to take my daughter...so I don't really have anywhere else to turn...

x x

[lisa-maggs]

oh my god that is awfull hun. my family too live at the other end of the country,but if i am honest the dont really understand the extent of my phobia and how it effects myself and my children. There view is that i chose to have my girls, and children get ill so i have to deal with it. a child being severely ill is traumatic at the best of times. When my 2 year old was ill i could not cope. The day she was addmitted to hospital she projectile v* her bowel contence. That was it for me, thats what toppled me over the edge. looking back on things now i am completely ashamed at how i delt with it. my 4 year old who was only 2 and a half at the time and she got herself up, went into my bedroom (at that time i slrept downstairs) and wipped the v* off her face, out of her hair and tried to change her clothes before i went up to her.

she went to a and e on the saturday and the thought of me going completely frightened me so someone else had to take her and i spoke to the doctor over the phone. i did the same the day before her transfer to a specialist childrens hospital.

Now listen to what im saying because its absolutely true. Not being able to cope does not make you a bad mum ok. Your baby knows that u love her like my two do. I can honestly put my hand on my heart and tell you if i did not have my support network i would be in the situation as u. Its wrong for social services to threaten u with things like that, because it does not help you. They need to work with u, your hv and gp and help u establish a support network. And hun there is nothing wrong with asking for help x x x

[twigandfuzz]

Oh my goodness you poor thing - I totally hear what you are saying re the trauma of a seriously ill child. It is terrible for any parent (most people fall apart lets be honest!) but the worst thing is when you you are unable to give them the support you want to because you can't....Being in hospital with them is the worst. My little girl has had so much it is unbelievable - I think the worst was after her immunisations and she went into anaphaltic shock (aged 10 weeks....), I was feeding her when it happened, the paramedics resucsitated her. I can't even count the number of times I have had to be in hospital with her (my husband would never go, and I couldn't leave her alone) pediatrics wards aren't the best to avoid sickness...I think if I am honest each and every time I have HAD to has just traumatised me too on top of all the v* - the projectile is terrible, and cleaning them up afterwards
- there has just been no respite from it - the only comfort has been that she couldn't infect me from her medical problems - & I think that is what enabled me to force myself to care for her during them. I suppose I thought if we lived in virtual quarantine, I could keep her from getting any bugs ....I was clearly kidding myself....my mum says to me its like asking a rape victim to be raped 40 times a day and then go back for more....trauma is trauma whatever it is....I think she may be right in lots of ways.

I think you have done an amazing job (with support yes) but you have done it none the less. I really hope your little girl is 'well' now - did she have the corrective surgery? (if she did I know how hard that would have been, my little one has been under general anasthetic for various ops since birth & each one, staying in hospital (alone) with her has torn me to shreds) - my mum came on the last one but the hospital would not let her stay over night with my daughter - only parents could! that was a long long night! - when I think about what we have been through my daughter and I, I am honestly not surprised I have cracked now - her consultant told me he is amazed how I have coped (he does not know about the phobia) and managed to meet her treatment plan, he said most parents just can't keep it up....and it then affects how long it takes the baby to recover - I wept when he said that - it was the first time anyone had told me I did a good job with my baby......and it meant the world I had done something good for her. pathetic isn't it?? I suppose people who haven't dealt with serious illness in their babies can't really relate to how it is - let alone add a phobia on top -

Also, if there had been ANYWAY of anyone else doing any of the hospital care etc I would not have hestitated for a second to turn away and have someone else do it - I am ashamed to admit that, but it is the honest truth. I was a hysterical mess at each time and it didn't help her at all.

txs for your support hun, it helps to know other people are out there x x x

[jezebel89]

Have you read Sage's sticky about her EMDR? After reading about her I thought that EMDR would really help me but it hasn't had this astounding effect that I thought it would. For over a year and a half I have done EMDR for one hour every week. It has, however, uncovered a lot of unknown connections with v* that I have (like how I'm okay about animal v* but not people v* because people v* looks worse to me than animal's).

My therapist uses three types of EMDR: He can move his finger back and forth in front of you (which some people on the forums say makes them n* but I just get dizzy), tapping (which you just alternate tapping your right and left knees), and listening (where you wear headphones and a tone goes back and forth in your ears). I normally do the touch, but my therapist also does a combination of touch and hearing.

I find that the "safe place" I imagine while doing the back and forth pat on my knees helps calm me down a little.