please read.....

[triciamassey]

I wanted to just say that i am very envious of the ppl out there that have support from family and friends while dealing with emetophobia and/or OCD....I personally have been emetophobic since ATLEAST kindergarten (i am 30 now) and have never had anyone that understands me.I have been married for 7 yrs and have 3 wonderful children(whom i have basically tried to seclude from the world 4 the past couple of yrs)....U see i am DEATHLY afraid of them getting sick to the point that i keep them away from alot of fun things...especially interacting with other kids...Like i said before, my emetophobia started when i was very young but just has just recently gotten extreme. My 3 yr old had rotavirus TWICE in a 2 wk period when he was about one and a half.He was hospitalized and without ANY food or water 4 about 5 days. He couldnt keep anything down. It was my worse nightmare come true.... He almost died..My emetophobia got VERY uncontrollable to the point where i wouldnt let my kids sleep in their own beds..They still sleep with me to this day. Ive never experienced anything like it before in my life and it scared me so bad. I have always wanted someone that could understand how i felt and then i found this site. It has helped alot but i still wish i had support from my family......My husband has a christmas party to go to tonight 4 his company and there is going to be kids there..I wanted to go with him but i just couldnt do it..I couldnt fathom the thought of my children playing with other (possibly sick) kids..I know that its terrible but i cant help it. Anyway, i told my husband that id rather not go and he starts yelling profanities at me and saying i act like a "retard" and hes tired of this crap and im a weirdo and so on...I started getting upset and crying and a few minutes later my 3 yr old son Layne was sitting in my lap and my husband walks by and says "Layne,you better get out of mommys lap...U might have GERMS!" It hurt me so bad. I just wish he knew the pain that i feel everyday...And the ONE person that i need by my side to comfort me has to be a rude, callous and insensitive. My husband- the one person i should be able to count on (besides my kids.) Im upset, hurt and dont see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.... So, to all of u lucky ppl out there who have a support system.....I envy u and thank u for reading this.

[turbokinetic]

Wow heartbreaking story.

I never told my mom and dad about this until after I had mostly overcome it.

One thing I have learned - every person I tell about it (regardless of their reaction) seems to give me more guts and less shame about it.

I really don't know what you can say to your husband. Hopefully someone who has dealt with the same thing, and found a positive solution, will come forward.

How much detail have you used in explaining this to your husband? How many times have you tried?

Respectfully,
David

[aaronsd]

im really sorry to hear you're going thru this. its very hard if you don't have a support system and no one should have to go this alone... it sounds to the point where you may want to consider therapy... its not healthy for you or your kids to keep them secluded. as far as your husband not being supportive, try to explain it to him that its something beyond your control and exists because of physical things in your body that you have no control over... its the same as someone with a disease like asthma... its completely beyond their control. if he still can't be supportive, then (and of course this is your decision) but you may want to consider a trial separation... your husband should be there to love and support you and accept you for both your good points and your faults. one thing that does concern me is that you say you rely on your kids... at this young age, thats not healthy from either of you... I was in a relationship with my Dad that ended up being a role reversal, essentially i acted as his Dad... that was very damaging to me and to our relationship... just be careful you don't do that with your kids. let me know how it goes... I'm here to help and talk if you need it.... I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I'm just trying to be truthful so you can get the best help possible.

[sage]

I really feel for you in reading this story and I can well imagine the terror you live in day to day - I used to be like that too and my older sister (12 yrs. older) was similarly abusive to me about it. The thing is, your husband is just as strongly emotional about his lack of understanding as you are about your phobia. If that makes sense. So....according to him you're acting like a retard and according to you he's acting like a retard.

The reason I say this is because if you can try to have some understanding for him and what he (and his kids) are going through then he might warm up more to you.

You can try going to my website (link below) and printing off the paper I wrote aimed at professionals to explain emetophobia. It has really helped a lot of family members to understand and begin to cope. Then sometime when there is NOT an issue at hand (like a party to go to) and emotions in your marriage are not so "hot" try to sit down with a cup of coffee over a table and look at the problem together - think up strategies, ask for his help, etc.

If you can afford it, marriage and family counselling would be a really good idea. Your kids are being affected by this as well as you and your husband.

All the best
Sage