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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Australia
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    1,100

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    I've only ever dealt with my emet issues by myself. I haven't told anyone that I suffer from it. The reason for that is because I absolutely know the reaction I'll get ''oh don't be silly, NO ONE likes to throw up''...and that'll be it. It'll probably also be mentioned ''umm, exactly how often do you throw up?'', which of course is extremely rarely. I don't see anyway of justifying this phobia to anyone. I can't even justify it to myself; it's competely irrational. I also have a phobia of heights and cockroaches - stupid?

    So anyhow, I feel like it would be impossible to have a relationship with someone. I've never been in one for both emet and other reasons and I feel completely overwhelmed at the possibility of missing out on something incredibly awesome with another person. Currently I'm able to go through my little routines whenever I'm feeling n* and sometimes I have panic attacks about it. How would I ever be able to explain this to somebody? I get n* a fair bit due to IBS and usually I'm able to tell the reason that I'm feeling n*, but there are still times where I freak out.

    I hate this. I hate feeling this way. I didn't even have emetophobia last year.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    795

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    the most important thing about a relationship is to just let it happen... you don't necessarily plan for it if it makes sense... if you find the right person for you they won't think that you're crazy and will be understanding and supportive of you... thats what a relationship is supposed to be... yes you have to take risk, and yes you will probably get hurt a few times before you find the right one... but having that deep connection is extremely rewarding and like nothing else. But keep in mind, you're only 21... you're still young and a lot can change and there's plenty of time yet for you.

    btw, people are a lot more understanding than you might think... yes some will give you the "usual" lines, but most are more understanding than that... none of your phobias, emet, aracno, or heights make you stupid or crazy in any way... they are physiologically caused and like any other disease like asthma, etc etc.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    3,455

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    If you're nervous about it, pick up the book "Living With Emetophobia: The Fear of Vomiting." Within lies many emet's stories, and it really lays it out in a way non emets can understand what we go through. This may give you ideas on how to explain things as well.

    For example, from that book I've learned that a good way of showing how our fear can almost be worse than others. Somebody afraid of spiders can run away from it, we can't run from our stomachs.

    And I agree wholeheartedly with what Aaron said. When you're with the right person, it will probably be with somebody you didn't look for, and he/she'll be understanding about your emet. My boyfriend knows what I'll be anxious over, and watches movies and games with an "emet eye" to see if anything will bother me. He also knows that if he's had anything to drink my anxiety will probably act up, and that he shouldn't take offense if I sleep in the living room instead of beside him.


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  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,100

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    Thanks for the replies. I guess I'm just scared of how I'd possibly react if someone were around me when I actually v*'d. I assume I'd be going on like a maniac. But I am hopeful that I'll find someone soon enough, I'm only young but I know what lonely feels like [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    United States
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    6,142

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    All you have to do is look here and see most of these emet girls are in relationships or have been. The way I see it, everyone has issues and no person is perfect. Emet and your other phobias are not that bad in a relationship compared to "issues" allegedly normal people might bring to the table. I can't offer much advice though, I'm 28 and only had one real relationship and it wasn't particularly deep or loving or meaningful [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] I completely feel ya on the lonely thing.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Alabama, USA
    Posts
    1,722

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    Kimberly; this hits close to home. I am the same way and fear commitment. It is not an emet thing. It is just that I have been on the road and on the run for so long now.

    I do feel like I'm missing out. I also feel like my kids will be deprived of a long relationship with their parents and grandparents if I start a family late.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    6,142

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    Not necessarily David, people live much longer these days. I wished I had known my dad's parents but the most important thing has been to have him around. My dad's an older guy but he could handle little kids right now...looks like your parents are similar with raising your sister's kids. It sucks, I miss having that close relationship with a woman, I feel like the kids thing...well I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

 

 

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