Hello...

[allisonc]

Excuse me, hello. My name is Allison and I'm fourteen years old, been suffering from Emetophobia for about five years. I don't mean to sound rude or anything by posting my story, I know everyone suffers and nobody suffers more or less than another. But I am very nervous as I have not seen many people around my age dealing with this. Actually, none at all and I'm just a little afraid of that.

I know many things about my fear. Where I got it, what I'm afraid of and ways to deal with it. I might even know WHY I've got it.

I got my fear from watching my ill mother v* continuously for three years, in and out of surgery near death experience. Dad left around that time too. I remember when we drove in the car, every time mom would begin coughing she began speeding to race home and run to the toilet. I never really adapted this fear until I got a sv* a year or two later. I don't remember much, but I was feeling very disgusting and luckily made it to the bathroom. I remember chanting over and over as I waited for it to happen, 'I'm gonna do it'. And I did. It happened a second time after I had chugged a bottle of water, not being able to handle the aftertaste of that deed.

I remember, I could not breathe and that's what scared me the most. The fact that it did not stop for what seemed like eternity, and felt like it was choking me, added to this fear. And now, if ANYTHING touches my neck or my lower jaw, (I can't even wear a turtleneck or a necklace and if mom hugs me I tense up) I immediately freeze.

I have been to a gastroenterologist where I had a panick attack, normal doctors, ER doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, a treatment center and most recently a hypnotist(Did not do a thing). My mother is struggling with money and I am struggling with this fear, so this is definitely not helping her and makes me feel more than guilty.

Since I v* back then I have watched what I eat, smelled everything at least twice, avoided anything with people, and most recently I have been having problems eating and sleeping. It has gotten to the point where I am being homeschooled and I have not left my house since. I don't have a problem watching someone else v* or seeing it happen on TV or even hearing the sounds. I AM afraid I might catch it though.

I have been searching the web for a long time, and the more I learn the more afraid I get. Almost everywhere I have read the quote "There is not yet a cure for Emetophobia". My panick attacks and anxious feelings, I'd really like to know if they're just normal for Emetophobia. Please, please I would very much like to know. They are:

1: After eating I always feel something. It's usually a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach or just pure cramps, might be because I don't eat much at all.
2: When I get anxious, my cheekbones and jaw begin to feel that sensation you feel in your leg when it falls asleep. It travels up the sides of my head and stops in my forehead like I'm going to lean over.
3: Back of my neck runs cold if I think about the fear too much. And anything happening to my neck scares me.
4: I get so afraid and I hold my breath, because my mind is convinced that if you aren't breathing then nothing can happen to you.
5: When I get VERY scared, everything in my torso is churning and I either mumble or yell when having to speak. I yell because I mumble so badly it's unheard. Because I yell and get afraid and stressed, my mother gets angry and I feel helpless. I'm so afraid that I will not even take the time to cry because I'm so focused on everything else.
6: All day I pick at my skin with my fingernails until I bleed. I bite my knuckles too. They're raw now. I do this all day because it is a perfect distraction from the anxiety.

I deal with all of those feelings on a daily basis, pretty much all day. And when I get the chance to sleep, I try to sleep as much as I can because I am too unwilling to wake up and feel it again. I really wan

[pretendworld_]

Hi Allison, welcome to the forum [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] but sorry to hear you are also suffering from emetophobia. I'm sure there are a few people on this site around your age and even some of the older people have suffered from a young age.

But I must say that there definately IS hope. People say there is no cure for emetophobia but I most certainly think there is. It sounds as though you've developed emetophobia from witnessing your mother constantly being ill and anyone can understand how traumatic that must have been to see. I have to say, you're lucky in the sense that you only fear yourself being sick, not others. I suffer from both (not exactly sure why). But basically a phobia is an irrational and extreme fear of something. Vomiting is something that nobody actually likes but for a lot of people (us) it's something that is absolutely terrifying. I always tell myself, the more that you fear it; the bigger it gets. If you are constantly worrying about vomiting and absolutely terrified of how horrible it is - that's only going to increase your anxiety levels and make everything much worse.

Have you tried anti-anxiety medication? If not, I really think it could be quite beneficial to you. You mentioned that ''medicines scare me'' - what did you mean by this?

All of the symptoms you've described are quite common with anxiety and panic attacks. What you are experiencing is normal for somebody suffering from emetophobia.

I can't really think of any other advice to offer at the moment, just wanted to say hello and again - there IS hope for you. It mightn't feel like that right now, but the main thing is to try and maintain as much a normal ''life'' as possible and avert your focus and attention and thoughts onto something other than being sick.

[turbokinetic]

Allison - no apologies needed. We're all pleased you are here; looking for answers and trying to overcome this thing.

You're so young - my phobia didn't start until I was about your age actually.

There most certainly IS hope and you CAN get through this.

If I have anything to offer - it would be to keep moving and enjoy your life and DON'T LOSE THESE YEARS to emetophobia. Having a life, and dealing with the fear and defeating it as you go through life - is a much easier path than putting your life on hold, and finding that it has passed you by; and the fear remains.

Respectfully,
David

[stella9]

Allison,

You are very young and are doing the best that you can possibly do with this fear.

Some people say there are cures to certain phobias and others say there is management of the phobia. My guess it depends on the nature and intensity of the phobia as well as the nature of the person who has the phobia. I don't think there is a hardened fast rule as to who is cured or not. What I mean to convey is that there is no quick fix. That said here are ways to manage the phobia by knowing the triggers and how to manage them.

I wish I could give you an easy answer, but then if I could, I would not be here also.

Stella

[nhernandez1194]

Welcome to the forums, Allison! If it means anything to you, I'm fifteen years
old and dealing with many similar things that you are. We here all
understand what you're going through! It's a relief, really, to be around
people who share similar feelings and thoughts as you—at least that's how I
felt! We are all one big family here, and I would personally like to welcome
you to the IES forums where you will find peace of mind, comfort, and
support. Never be afraid to rant, express your feelings, or ask for help
because we all do it anyway! Welcome! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]