Parents Don’t Understand

[kaizykat]

I figured that this was the best place to put this.

I'm 17 and I've had emetophobia since I was 8. Over the last 11 years, my parents still don't quite understand why I have all the weird rituals I do. My father in particular actually teases me about it!

Well, I thought that my phobia couldn't get any worse than it had been in the past, but I've gotten to a point where I don't want to eat any form of meat anymore or go out to eat. I'm also hesitant to eat pork and I very rarely eat seafood or chicken.

Even my habit of checking the expatriation dates on food drives them crazy! Seriously, they expect me to eat food that has spoiled! XDDD

I also do the date thing where I freak out during particular times of the year, which drive my parents nuts. Another thing that makes them frustrated is when I keep asking them if I'm going to be okay (I.E. Will I v****?) if we go out to dinner or something.

I'm not crazy all the time, but it's to the point where my parents don't want me to go to college. I'm planning to go to a college where you have separate rooms and a common room together and as soon as possible moving into a small condo for myself. As for food, I'll cook my own (Preferably fake meat as well. XD).

Both of my parents think I'm completely off my rocker and am going to have a complete mental breakdown once I leave home.

How did you convince your parents that you're not as insane as they think you are?

Oh, my physiologist also looks at me strangely when I bring it up during visits (I'd go see someone else, but I need my meds. XD), which both irritates me and is somehow funny.

[turbokinetic]

Kaitlin, I didn't tell my parents about my emet until I was mostly over it. Then I didn't tell The Whole Story.

To someone who does not have ths phobia - it is impossible to understand.

Having said that - you DEFINATELY need to go to college. It will be a wonderful time and there will be so much to keep you busy that your will forget about emet from time to time.

I hear you about meats. I have a "thing" against red meats such as beef and pork. I will eat LOADS of fish and seafood, and also like chicken. But any "dark" meat I can not make myself eat. And HANBURGER MEAT makes me run is sheer terror! I just drink lots of protein suppliments to make up for this.

You may need to put forth extra effort to suppress your emet around your parents. This will help re-assure then you are fit to spend time away from home. It could also help you distance yourself from the emet behaviours. Might be a good step towards overcoming this!

Respectfully,
David

[calofluffyz]

its wrong for your psychiatrist to react that way. I went to a psychologist for a while and was too embarassed to actually talk about it i just told him i was anxious about getting sick-pretty vague. Now that I look back I wish I would have better utilized my time with the psych but he was absolutely no help in any way he told me things i already knew... we wasted a whole session on a relaxation technique which I already knew about... dumb... just make sure you're getting EXACTLY what you want out of the psych, its your body and mind, they are working to help YOU!

[asianeko]

To be honest, my parents only knew I locked myself in my bedroom when somebody was ill. They knew I was scared, but didn't know the extent. After I moved out and my emet started getting worse (not because I moved, but because I had somebody ill beside me in bed) I told them about it.

They didn't really understand until I called my father on Halloween, shaking and crying and asking him how to stay warm. He immediately started to worry until I told him my bf was violently ill from drinking and I was in the car trying to sleep in 30 degree weather. My dad at that point slowly said he thought I may need therapy, which is something my parents aren't really fond of. When he understood how serious it was, that it really wasn't something I was in control of, then both of my parents started to be encouraging about it.

There is a book you can order, called "Living With Emetophobia: Coping with Extreme Fear of Vomiting." This book doesn't help YOU personally, but it helps non emets understand why it's so terrifying to us. You can read bits of it on amazon here: Living With Emetophobia Be warned some parts may feel graphic, and they use the V word I own it and it's great to show friends, family, coworkers, and doctors.

[IceMaiden]

I am fortunate to have a very understanding family, I have always been emet, from my earliest memories, at first they thought it was just a natural dislike for anyone being ill, who wants to be ill/see others be ill? It's only as I got older my fears really started showing, I wouldn't eat out, jumped out the window every time someone coughed etc.
Now they bleach and scrub the toilet stright after they've been ill, and still invite me out with them to dinner even if I won't eat, just to have me there. They don't know the full extent of it though, as I never show myself when ill or when someone is being ill, but I feel very fortunate just to have that consideration.
Having that support has helped me overcome my fears slightly, I will now eat soup out, pastries etc, and I even have a trusted chinese resturante that I will eat chicken in!
I feel if you explained to your parents that you're not crazy and just afraid of being unwell, they may feel a bit better about you moving out, knowing that your "strange" behaviour has a cause rather then being spontaneous. Perhaps they might understand better if you told them it was a type of OCD, which I guess it is in a way :P
Good luck!

[Bamba]

Ugh my parents are excactly the same way!! Mostly my father also, he always calls me stupid nicknames after I have a panic attack. I also do the expiration date thing AND the "am i gonna be O.K.?" thing that drives my parents nuts!!! They dont quite understand what i am going through so they always expect me to freak out even if i am prefectly calm, like my mom is always asking me "Are you nervous right now?" I cant really blame her, since it is hard for her to tell, but it is still very frustrating. I wish this would ALL end, i fell sorry for both of my parents for having to watch their daughter go through agony and i hate watching myself!!

[MindlessRuffian]

Ugh my parents are excactly the same way!! Mostly my father also, he always calls me stupid nicknames after I have a panic attack. I also do the expiration date thing AND the "am i gonna be O.K.?" thing that drives my parents nuts!!! They dont quite understand what i am going through so they always expect me to freak out even if i am prefectly calm, like my mom is always asking me "Are you nervous right now?" I cant really blame her, since it is hard for her to tell, but it is still very frustrating. I wish this would ALL end, i fell sorry for both of my parents for having to watch their daughter go through agony and i hate watching myself!!

My mother understands (sort of) but she lives in Ohio. My family here seem to think I'm overreacting or doing it for attention. They don't understand how something so "natural" can terrify me the way it does. It holds me back so much...and I think they think I'm making excuses.

[halliedk]

It makes me so sad to hear stories like these

I'm a mother - and it brings tears to my eyes, thinking that my child could have to go through this without me being there to support

I think all parents of emets should be forced to check out the emet FAQ site - and this site as well... Just to give them a slight hint of what their child is really struggling with every single waken moment of their life :S

It's the one advice that I give to all young emets posting on my wall on the Danish emet site that I'm administering : show your parents this site!! They will never fully understand but they will definitely get a more nuanced picture of what we're dealing with every day

[Jill in Apartment 413]

That's just the thing though, my parents refuse to visit this site and won't even read info from it if I send it to them. They just think I'm crazy and that it's a "quirk" they have to live with. I doubt if I got them a book they'd do more than just glance at it.

They've known about my emetophobia since I was a kid. When one of my sisters would get sick I wouldn't even be on the same floor of the house as them. I am scared out of my mind and my parents won't even take fifteen minutes out of their day to read the FAQ of Emetophobia. I hate it!

[PinkButterfly]

Don't feel crazy. I do every single thing you listed. I don't really discuss my phobia, I've mentioned that I am seriously afraid but that's all that is said. They see me wash my hands a million times and check exp. dates. It drives my boyfriends mom nuts when I check the dates because she uses expired things as if its no big deal. Its a big deal for me! I just go on living as it is part of my life and I want it that way as long as I keep the anxiety down.
As for the particular time of year.. Once I hear of others getting the stomach virus that's going around, I think "Oh gosh, its here". I tend to avoid anyone that I know that has been sick and even feel as though I don't want to go out to eat. Its just anxiety that I have but I have some courage to try and avoid voicing my anxiety and just end up being really picky about where we can go eat.

As for school, it will work out. I lived in a dorm that had four other girls, but we all had separate rooms. Although we had two bathrooms and only two sinks. So of course we had to share. Honestly cleaning should make you feel better. I would keep my toothbrush out of sight. I was mostly afraid of a hall type environment where students had to share one large bathroom with an entire hall. I had a fairly large fear of that. My brother had that type of dormitory when he was in college and I heard horror stories when he ended up v*ing there.