any advice will do (relationship)

[crazybeautiful]

i'm having a hard time letting my last relationship (if you cancall it that)go. i liked the guy so much and he pretty much used me. he didn't care. now i'm worried i'm letting it get in the way of a new thing happening. i feel like theres not that much chemistry with this new guy, even though i like him...i just keep thinking, 'it's not the same as with (other guy)' i don't know what to do. give him a chance (which i've been doing...i didn't even want to get into a relationship) or give up. i just don't want this past thing to ruin every new thing that could happen. i don't know if i should talk to him and let him know how i'm feeling.

and i'm worried that i don't feel as strongly about this new guy as i did with the last guy and that this will happen forever. i just don't wanna be alone forever, but at the same time i'd rather be alone then deal with all these feelings and being sad all the time.


anyone feel the same? oh and i'm afraid of committment and relationships in general, which is why i say it's easier to be alone.

[hippychick]

Awww *hugs* Well give the new guy a lil chance. I think it's so hard to get over people and maybe we never do we just learn to make new memories and have dirrfent good times with other people. Maybe you are not quite over the other guy yet but thats ok there is no set time period on getting over these things, but you will be able to move on one day. Give the new guy a chance to make good memories with you, but if the shemistry aint there it aint there, you cant force it. I used to think I would NEVER have that chemistry ever and I did. Ot jsut happens maybe when you are ready maybe not. But dont beat yourself up over this. I can understand why you wanan be over the other guy because he treated you badly, but you just cant turn feelings off that way.....if only we could hey?


And I personally believe it is better to be alone...but maybe I'm a lil biased right now [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]I've always believe you can only rely on yourself and not to trust anyone........but Love doesn't seem to listen to that!


Don't push yourself or beat yourself up too much, everyone comes into our lives to teach us something (as cheesey as that sounds)

[crazybeautiful]

Thanks for the kind words. It's so hard though.

[hippychick]

I know, I don't know why i am giving out relationship advice here lol not exactly got a good record going for me! Everything takes time.....Sucks huh?


*huggles* til then I am here if you wanna talk moreX

[crazybeautiful]

sure does.


i think i read a post about you and your girlfriend breaking up, i wasn't logged on though, but sorry to hear that. that's really too bad.


they say 'time heals'...but really. how much more time can it take!?!?

[hippychick]

I really have no idea how long it takes, and I really think soemtimes we are never healed completely you know? But we do move on and we do make new experiences with new people. it just has to be the right people i gues.


And thank you, yeah we broke up, and its rough but she gave me so much in my life I am so grateful to her.

[sweetfreak]

Hang in there, ladies. I agree with you, hippychick, in that we must trust ourselves. But in trusting ourselves, we learn to trust others. And for me...the very definition of a wonderful, loving relationship is one in where you can trust the other person completely, and be able to show your partner your vulnerability. If you can't do that...I don't think it's possible to ever feel the true wonder of real love...a real connection. Just my thoughts, you can disagree or agree, or be ambivalent...whatever floats your boat. What's the old cliche? Tis' better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. It's been around so long cos it's true.


Anyway, I hope you both find a loving, caring partner...and a relationship that works for you. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[eyecandi512]

I think you should give this new guy a chance, maybe you dont have the most intense feelings for him because you are still not over the last guy. Break ups can be very tough and mentally draining. You might still be hurt my the previous guy and do not have the resources available to you to fall in love with this guy. If you like him there must be something attracting you to him, I think you should give it a shot. Try not to think about the other guy so much, dont get stuck in the comparing trap. Each person is different and that's whats so wonderful, he may have some traits similar to the first guy, but may be completelty different. He may have better things to offer. You'll never find out unless you're open minded and open yourself up.


I dont think you'll be better off alone, you're just a little hurt and frustrated. You find the person you're meant to be with, it may take a while, but you're getting to know your likes and dislikes. dont be afraid of relatrionships, they can be so wonderful and eye opening. Sure there is a chance that you might get hurt, but I think it's worth it because there';s also a chance that you wont and that this is right for you.


Good luck I hope you're doing well.


Hippychick, I hope you're feeling better too!! It will get easier [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[crazybeautiful]

Thanks Girls for the nice advice and kind words. they really mean a lot to me.