Need Forum’s Help/Advice*GRAPHIC*

[sparky2004]

I have had a good week, until last night. My friend, "Jane" (for privacy) called me and asked me to come over. She lives across the street, but I was dreadfully tired from work. But the tone in her voice told me that something was wrong.


I got over there and settled in, waiting for her to tell me what the problem was. Jane's husband was there too, as he was off sick from work with a sinus cold. But the atmosphere in their apartment was thick and serious. After a little 'small talk', I asked her what was wrong. She said that she she was admitting to me that she has a problem. I tuned right in, wondering what it could be because Jane seems like one of the most content people I know. She always puts on a good front to everyone, even if there is turmol inside her. I've known this woman since early high school and we have been through hell and back together. Jane said that she hasa problem with depression. I already guessed that, and my heart went out to her immediatley because it is an illness that is all to common.


But I wasn't ready for what was to come next. She told me that just the otherafternoon, before I came over for coffee, she tried to kill herself in two ways. The first way was trying to cut her main arteries, eitherin her neck or wrists. Jane said that she decided against that because it would simply be too messy. Her second attempt, and she actually did this one, she laid downon her bed and put four plastic bags over her head to suffocate herself. Jane said that after a bit, she became impatient because things were not happening fast enough and also because her body began to fight for air, so she tore the bags off her head, and decided to fall asleep.


The good news is that she had the courage to tell her husband, and he got her to the doctor's. Lastnight, her husband was on 'suicide watch', and today they are both going back to the doctor's office, than straight to emergency.


I tried to be strong for her, and in front ofher as she was telling me this. I noticed that her husband was watching my reaction like a hawk, so I stayed strong and praised her up and down for telling someone, and getting help, and doing whatever it is she needs to do to get better. She is willing to stay in the hosptial. She is willing to go on meds and seek professional help.


I went home after telling Jane's husband that I could only put on this front for so long before I began to react emotionally.


See forum, I am opening my heart to you further by telling you that my father commtied suicide on my 15 birthday. In the past five years my older brother and I havetaken care of and got help, and rushing her to the hospitalfrom suicide attempts by overdosing (She is on the road to recovery).


I am not trying to sound selfish by saying that I am tired of suicide, and suicide attempts. But I am. It has taken it's toll on me emotionally. I am still in shock over Jane's painful confession. I want to cry, but I can't. I want to scream but I can't. See, no one had any clue as to the amount of pain she was in, because it was literally from night to day. She seemed very positive, than went to extremely negative. I know the main reason for her decision to attempt suicide, yet I will not discuss it here. That reason was the 'kicker', the final blow.


I haven't contactedmy close friends in the firehall yet. Maybe I should.Does the forum have any advice, because I really need some, and some support. I feel like I amemotionallynumb, because I almost lost myclosest friend.


Thank you all for listening. Helen, a.k.a. Sparky


Edited by: sparky2004

[hippychick]

I wish I had soem advice but I don't. But I can offer support and I can say that I know where you are coming from. My Dad comited suicide when I was 10 years old after 2 years of depression and refusing to get help. i can't stand to listen to my friends when they joke about suicide and I cut off all contact with a guy friend of mine because he told me he had tried to comit suicide in the past. I know that sounds harsh but I knew I could get close to this guy but I couldn't bear to be close to anyone who was at risk of doing that, it scared me too much, I felt I would never be able to say how I felt because I'd always be scared of pushing him over the edge. He was ok when I knew him btw he wasn't suicidal then, but knowing he had been and could be again made me push him far away.


I hate to hear people are giving up on life and whenever anyone sys they are suicidal I cnnot give impartial advice or be there because I just wanna scream. There are a lot of things about my Fathers suicide I have never and will probably never discuss with anyone, not even my ex-girlfriend and I discussed them.


But anywaythis is not about me, this is about you and how to cope with your friends admission. It is great that she is getting the help she needs but I know how hard you are going to find it to be there for her. Anytime it gets to much or you want to talk then PM me ok? I (sadly) know how you feel.


X

[Babydoll]

wow. I hear the pain in your words. I cant say I know what youve been through,, but I can say I would like to help in any way I can.


I am a strong beliver that things are always connected and happen for a reason. Maybe the fact you ost your father to suicide means you can save her life from it.


be there all u can for it, and dont think that people who have tried to commit suicide are doing it for attention. they need help, and its good sheès getting it


Sometimes the tunnel is so dark they see no end to it. let us know how she does.

[u4ia]

i know how you feel i had a friend in high school with problems like those, i was always there for her, but i had to talk to someone about it too. its hard to try to help someone, who is in that state, but keep yourself sane in the process. and good for you for staying strong for your friend. i would say the best thing to do is to talk to someone about it, dont hold any of your feelings in,.

[terified girl]

This is indeed some serious stuff, and I am so sorry to hear about what you had to go through at such a young age, and then again many years later. Now its starting all over again with one of your closest friends, I understand you are frustrated and fed up, but if she is asking for your help to become better, isn't that a good thing? Isn't it better that she is telling you what she thought and tried, instead of maybe reading it after she's succeeded???


I pray that you do have the strength and courage to help her thru this very hard time for her, and I hope that in the end, all will be better and she will no longer think of suicide, but until she does become stronger, she needs those she feels closest to, to help her, listen to her, cry with her, and whatever else she needs to do to get her past this bad point in her life.....You can do it, you will do it for your friend, and you will be fine too.


Please take care and do let us know how you and your friend are doing.


Sonia

[Jenneh]

im so sorry to hear this...


i think your doing the right thing by not getting too emotionally involved... i know its hard, but if this is going to stir up a lot of painful memories for you, then maybe its best that u admit to urself that shes doing the right thing, by getting help, and thers not much u can do anyway.


im sure if "Jane" knew about ur past, she'd understand anyway.


Jen xxxxx