Kind of sad (OT)

[sweetfreak]

I have now had three people that care about me tell me that I have difficulty showing my vulnerabilities. To use an example...if someone tells me that they think I am beautiful, smart, etc...I do say "Thank you", but I have a tendency to giggle afterwards. Now, the first person that ever said this to me, I didn't quite believe him...thought it was just his perception. But if two others have said the same thing, maybe there is something to it. What makes me sad is that even if I am that way...how they say I am...does that make me a bad person? I can't be anybody other than who I am. If that is how I handle someone being caring or tender towards me...then shouldn't the person just accept that about me...and not expect any thing more? Why should I try to change who I am? In my opinion...I shouldn't have to.

[sweetfreak]

Just thinking that I should clarify what I mean a little better. I guess...I have a hard time letting someone know that I appreciate their approval...that their opinion makes me feel good inside. I mean...it does...when someone I care about shows me how much they care...but I tend to get nervous?...I guess...when someone does show me that kind of tenderness. I hope I make some sense. LOL

[kmarie]

I understnad..its kinda like being hard to take a complement..its not that you dont agree..or dont appreciate it..its just that having someone say something kind makes you a bit uneasy right? Im that way..i never know how to act..i always want to disagree..like if soemone says they like my hair..or my shirt..i find it hard to stay positive and just thank them and move on..

[sweetfreak]

Yeah...exactly! And it's not that I don't think well of myself...it's just that hearing compliments from others makes me sort of uncomfortable. But I am not rude about it...so I don't know why it's such a big deal.

[kmarie]

I know...as long as you thank them..thats the best you can do..if someone calls you on it i would just explain that people giving you compliments just makes you uncomfortable and that you just really dont know what to say in return or how to act.

[emms]

I agree with both of you! Also, keep in mind that many of us (myself included) have been raised to be bashful with compliments, as is it always easier to believe the negative, than toseem vain accepting the compliament. I know that in my experience, I have been taught that someone who readily accepts compliments, is vain or digging for compliments, so when I am complimented, it's so hard to accept it!


I would just let the people that question your reaction know that you appreciate what they are saying, but you are a little squeamish about them. I know that's easier said than done! I usually just try to blow compliments off, not acknowledging them at all. I hate that I do it, but for me, it's just a little easier.


Good luck! If you figure out the right way to handle it, let us know!

[Galadriel]

Yeah I too have a hard time accepting compliments. Its odd. Even when my boyfriend tells me Im beautiful, its like I dont know how to take it, and I just make a face or something, cause I dont know what else to do! Its quite baffling![img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

i dont see why they're making it a big deal either...


i find it IMNPOSSIBLE to tke compliments. sometimes its OK lke if someone says " i lke ur jacket" i can say " thankyou, <smile" and move on.. .


but when people say something more personal about me, lke "ur so sensible and thoughtful" which was said to me today on seperate occassions, i just kinda say " nah im not" and l;augh...


it is annoying.


Jen xxxxxxx