Need Practical Helpful Steps to deal with the Panic

[CommonSenseMom]

Hi Everyone-

I have had emetophobia since childhood and have recently had an exaccerbation of my panic since becoming a mother. I have a two year old and I am terrified that he will (and I know he will) bring home a s*v*. Like many people here I am terrified of v*ing.... the loss of control...the anticipation of "am I going to v*.....am I going to v*?"

I am terrified that my son or my husband will come down with a s*v* and the anticipation of whether or not I will catch it. I am scared that I will not be able to help my son if he v*s, that my fear will overpower my ability to take proper care of him physically and emotionally. I don't want to pass my phobia on to my son. (My mother was emetophobic as well).

It is now s*v* season and it is going around like wildfire here. Many of my son's friends and thier parents have had it just this week and I am terrified that we are next.

Can someone PLEASE offer some very practical tips on how to deal with this fear? I am planning on seeing a counselor who specializes in phobias but in the short term I need some quick tips. What has worked for you?

I have some phenegren pills from when I was pregnant and I have them on hand incase I get the s*v*. I know that v*ing is important, and normal and I am willing to do it once or twice because that is the body's natural way of getting rid of the virus.....but I am utterly terrified of that point when you are emptied out but your body still tries to v* and it is painful and way out of control. My plan is, incase I get the virus, to take the phenegren pills once I have v* a few times. I don't want to go into detail...but you know when you are emptied out.....it is at that point I would take the pills. Does that sound logical? That's the only short-term immediate strategy I have right now.

I would appreciate any advice. I am fearful of these boards because I come on here and inadvertently "learn" how to be a worse emetophobic by reading about other people's reactions to thier fear (intense handwashing, avoiding buffets, avoiding social gatherings). I don't like to do too much reading.

I am embarrassed to death that I have this problem, it feels so childish. But I have to deal with it if I want to be a good mother and not pass this fear on to my son like my mother passed it to me.

Any tips for dealing with the fear are appreciated.

[CommonSenseMom]

Also - I want to ask my doctor if I can fill a prescription for phenegren suppositories and have them on hand so that I can stop the v* if it gets too out of control and I panic. My plan is to have them handy at all times.

I have no idea how to talk to my doctor about this. To me it sounds logical and it would decrease my fear of the s*v* because I would have some control. Has anyone tried this strategy?

[alwaysafraid]

Your fears are definitely justified. Sure you can talk to your doctor about a phenergan Rx to have on hand but at the same time you need to talk to him/her about managing your anxiety. I'm sure most if not all of us know exactly how you feel....terrified. The thing is you need to be a mom to your child, and children get sick. Why not get involved in therapy right away and look into an SSRI to help you gain control over your anxiety and worry? I have taken celexa for over a year now and it's the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time. I'm on a tiny little dose and it helps me to remain in control of my worried thoughts about v*. You can always take an antiemetic if you're feeling unwell, but that's not really an answer. Keep in mind antiemetics are good but none are 100% effective all the time. I hope you look into asking your doctor for some help along with the Rx for phenergan. Good luck!

[CommonSenseMom]

Thank you. I am looking for a counselor who specializes in anxiety/phobias and am considering an anti-anxiety medication....that's the long-range plan. What I was wondering is are there any coping techniques that any of you use to deal with the immediate panic? There is a lot of s*v* going around here and I find myself feeling panicked about contracting it (or my child contracting it). Looking for ways to get that under control in the short term.

How do you tolerate the Celexa? Does it make you drowsy? Is it also an anti-depressant? (Realizing everyone is different).

Thanks again. I am determined to not let this fear run my life but I have some work to do.

[j.shinay]

look for counselors who specialize in DBT. Its a great program to help with behavioral anxiety that has really helped me. Basically its techniques taken from Zen buddhism applied to everyday life to avoid panic attacks. I was originally brought to a DBT specialist due to panic attacks related to school which were causing severe chest pain. Not only did she help me with my stress, it has made dealing with emet much much easier. I would not recommend drugs because they can often times cause a mess of other problems and honestly is just a quick fix. Therapy is harder, but I think its safer, healthier, and in the end much more effective.

[j.shinay]

Oh you can also teach yourself DBT, but its easier if you have a counselor or support group to help you through it. Some good infos: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/index.html

[bjeanfritz]

You are so not alone! My husband is downstairs on the couch with our 6 year old daughter because she woke up with a s*v* at 1AM and I am too terrified to be with her until I am SURE it is over. I am on Cymbalta (anti-depressant & anti-anxiety med), but I've started to have breakthrough anxiety recently because my 3 year old is in part time preschool & my 6 year old is in full-day kindergarten and there are s*v*s going around everywhere. I think I need to seek out a counselor too, but I need to be careful what methods I choose. I'm a devout Christian and so I wouldn't feel right employing the DBT methods that worked for j.shinay (I'm so glad they worked for her, and respect her choice, but I don't think that would be the best choice for me). It is the lack of control that freaks me out too. I don't keep any Rx's on hand for tummy troubles, but I do keep Tums, Kids Pepto (does not have aspirin in it) for when they feel off due to too much party food or whatever, and regular Pepto on hand at all times. I hear Emetrol works wonders too, but have never tried it myself. What makes it so hard for me is that my mom sucked up her aversion and took care of me & my brother when we had s*v*, so she doesn't understand it's not just a run of the mill aversion. My hubby sort of understands, but not completely. It makes me feel very alone that I can't just call someone that understands, so I'm glad I found this board tonight!

You aren't alone in this fear and feeling like it affects your ability to be as good a mom as you want to be.

[j.shinay]

Im sorry DBT wouldn't work for you, because its only BASED on eastern religion, its not a religious thing. Its mostly just breathing and thoughtfulness exercises. If it still bothers you you should look for an anxiety specific psychologist, they do exist!!!! Ive found its really important to find an anxiety specific doctor. Hope your daughter feels better!

[Tenshun]

I am with you on the sickness. I get a little anxiety if someone gets sick from thier own fault, drinking or rides or what not, but it really gets bad when I know it's from a virus. A sense of not being in control, that you know it will happen and you cant do a thing about it teriffies me. About an hour ago my little girl got sick, most likely due to the painful ear infection she just developed, but it broght me right back to the 2 weeks of flu fun we had about a month ago. I end up being the one who hides downstairs with pretzels and ginger ale for the next couple of days, afraid to even use the shower thinking someone will go running in. I end up saying the heck with it, but my heart pounds, and I turn into a germ-a-phob and lysol everything. I have seen videos of people getting sick, watch movies with it, and for the most part it doesnt bother me, cause you cant catch anything through the screen. This is kind of a support reply, but also helping me come to terms a bit as well. I have tried to be supportive to my kids and my wife during these times, and it breaks my heart that I cannot pick up my children when they need me during the sick times. Hang in there. I know it sucks. Sorry and thank you.