Reading all your thank yous made me cry....I am so hapy that i could offer some hope to you all...and yes i have felt ill since overcoming it...i was drunk :/ lol and was feeling rather queesy...but i got in with my head spinning and just gave into feeling drunk...i got myself food and watched silly late night television! haha...last year i would have had a whole night of panic attacks...but i fell asleep and woke up with a headache! thats it!.....and today my boyfriend was ill at work...so i called him and asked him to come home so that i could look after him...I am not at all worried about getting ill simply because i enjoy life too much to worry about it any more...it always re-inforces the fact that not every little risk ends up in illness.....I went to london for new years eve and had touched all kinds of surfaces like the tube seats and handels etc and then went and drank champayne and forgot all about...was touching my mouth when i was watching the fireworks and everything...i didnt get ill and i had an amazing night ....I am sure this moment will come to all of you...even if it is in small doses ....keep smiling! x x x x x x x x