My life and my relationship

[verityvee]

Hiya my name is Verity.
I've had emetophobia for years but it's mainly based around lack of control... I hate ANYTHING that happens that isn't whithin my control. My dad is exactly the same, I don't know why we are like it but I wish I wasn't. I want to be able to loose control and enjoy it. I've had hypnotherapy which failed to work, I want to try pure hypnoanalysis as this is meant to get to the root of your problem. I have an amazing boyfriend called Andy who is a miracle to be honest. He knows everything, puts up with all my OCD ways, helps me out, takes me everywhere i want to go and loves me to bits. I don't know what I ever did to deserve him but sometimes I just feel like crying because I cant do the things a normal girlfriend would like go away on holiday with him, go out for a meal. I hate it. I get so depressed thinking about what I COULD do if i didn't have all these anxiety issues. I've been on prozac for months now and it helps me carry on but doesn't really get rid of the anxiety. Any slight thing I get wrong with me I worry.. for instance the last week i've had a headache. This is causing me to obsess and worry that there is something wrong with me because it won't go away, I worry If i get stomach ache, ANYTHING that's abnormal. I hate being the way i am - a OCDing, emetophobic hypochondriac. I'm only 17 and I want a life without fear 24/7. Anyone feel the same as me?

[alexikiss]

Hi Verity,

I used to be the same way, and I still am, to a certain degree. I am a hypochondriac as well. If something is wrong with me and I don't know why, I can't focus on anything else and often imagine the worst. You are very lucky to have a boyfriend who cares so much about you and loves you for who you are! That's awesome!

There are a lot of great things I missed out on doing because I was too worried, and it upsets me to think about it sometimes. Nobody wants to live like this. It is very frustrating. Sometimes I hope that I will eventually get so fed up that I just won't care anymore and I'll stop being so afraid. I know it's just not worth it, but my fears tell me otherwise...