Worries about the Future...

[KaydeeJayde]

Hey everyone,

So I'm kind of new here. This is my first time posting here, but I've been lurking for a little while just researching. I apologise in advance if I do or say anything wrong. I have a terrible habit of doing that.

Today, my boyfriend had an sv*, and he kept talking about it to me over MSN. Even though he's 50km away, it still made me ridiculously anxious. I had that tight feeling in my throat and I was shaking. It's never been that bad before. The other week, we were on the train and he said he wasn't feeling great and even that made me have to move away from him. I was curled into a ball in a corner seat with my fingers in my ears, shaking and hyperventilating.

I don't know if I'm even posting this in the right area, but it's the only place I can think of.

My emet seems to only extend to seeing someone v* or hearing it happen. When it happens to me, I'm able to accept it and not panic about it. Sure, I feel terrible afterwards, but I don't really feel panicky. It's only with other people. And I can look at pictures, watch videos and everything of people v*, but as soon as it's going to happen in front of me, I panic.

I keep thinking about my future with my boyfriend. I love him so much, and I have no doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he gets s* A LOT. Everything seems to make him s*... things he eats, even just a glass of water, and he's very prone to sv*. I feel like I can't ever live with him because of the frequency that he v*.

Also, I'm afraid of having to deal with sick children. I just don't think I could be in the house with them when they're ill, which, knowing children, could be quite often.

Anyways, I guess my question is for the older members of the forum. Did you have the same fears that I have, and have you overcome them, or how do you deal with them? I just feel so useless and helpless at the moment. I'm 19, and I'm already over dealing with this, I don't think I can do it for much longer.

Any advice anyone can offer me would be greatly appreciated!

[mj0722]

I am fearful of the very same things, but mine is more so the fear of getting sick and getting sick in public. I remember as a child being horrified by kids in class v*ing. I think this is where my emet stems from. My fiancee has/had a sv* last Sunday and was up all night v*ing. I have been a nervous wreck all week. We only have one bathroom and he has no idea about my emet. It has now been 6 days since he v* and I'm still afraid to kiss him. Does anyone else have any input on this?

I fear having children for the same fact of them being very lax about washing their hands and being prone to catching things. I am going to try psychotherapy soon, and its going to cost a bit of money, but I think it will truly help. I have also been placed on anti-anxiety meds along with a fast acting benzo to take when panic strikes. Hope this helps, at least knowing someone else out there has the same fear. I am really trying to get this under control because it is beginning to affect my employment. This week I took many days off or even half days because my panic would get so great.

[cactusinmyhead]

Yes im afriad of my boyfriend infecting me with the sv* (he actually has it now). I am also afriad of being pregnant because of morning sickness and having children that will get sick and possibly get me sick. Basically Im afraid of carrying on with a normal life.

[mj0722]

I am too! I am scared to even go to work tomorrow.... I feel like a little kid who dreads going to school... all because I am afraid I'm going to be sick. The unknown is what I am so afraid of I think. Does your boyfriend know of your fear?

[olschesky]

i am the same way...if someone tells me they had/have a sv i immediately start to panic.....even if it's over the phone....i start counting how many days it's been since i've been around them. i recently told my husband about my emet....showed him some posts on here so he could try and understand a little better because it's just so hard to explain the utter terror i go through when i hear about a sv.......he was very understanding and promised to help whenever i asked and never question my feelings......

i never had kids either.....afraid of morning sickness and kids being sick....thanks mom for taking such good care of me when i was sick......she's a saint!

anyways, good luck.....tell your bf....i made my husband promise not to laugh or make fun of me before i even told him....i cried for like 30 mins before i could get the words out so he had a pretty good idea i was dead serious about it.

i feel much better since i told him.....and this site gave me the courage to do that......reading posts from people who feel just like me make me feel less anxious.......so keep reading and posting.

welcome

[cactusinmyhead]

yea I told him about it and my parents know and a couple of close friends. Im not really embarrassed about it. I want people to know so they are careful around me and know to specify what kind of sick they are if they tell me they are sick. Hes usually nice about it sometimes he messes with me and says hes feeling sick and i freak out but hes helped me through a lot of anxiety attacks so hes pretty cool about it.