so, who actually has done IT?

[redapple]

I have not been ill for 10 years, I've been an emetophobe for five. So I've always wondered what it will be like when I finally do. Will it make me worse? Better? The same? Will it REALLY be as bad as I imagine it?


Please share your experiences.





xoxo

[jazz]

you know, it's a good question. ive been phobic since around about that age too..betwen the ages of 5-7 was when my emet actually first appeared.
the last time i threw up, was when i was 9, and i dealt with it really calmly.. however, i wasn't soo phobic then, i was still petrified, but i had zero anxiety on the night of the incident..i just dealt with it really rationally, teling myself not to get worked up etc.
so before i ramble on even further, facing the experience could actually go either way.. i felt almost revived last time i vomited, but five years later it still haunts me.?
i think, the more we face it, the less anxious we become.. but obviously,i dont think we would subject ourselves to that!

[wing]

Hmm..i really dont know. I've been like thissince i was about4 to 5 years old(I'm not exactly sure but around there). I havent gotten sick since i was 8 *knock on wood* I dont know what its like though. I did feel anxiety i remember and lots of shame. I heard though that it can make it worse for some people and make it better for others. It depends on the person.

[spilled_milk]

oof I really dont wanna jinx myself.


i've been an emetophobe since I was born (seriously, i was freaking out at age three) but not very bad until i was about...9ish? That was the last time i threw up. so far. aaah, knock on wood!


<3 Anya--

[pippi]

I had it about 4 years ago.It was bad. Not something I want to relive. Before that I had morning sickness but it isn't the same....it more of a mild lingering feeling yuk!

[charzysbebe]

I have been an emet for as long as I can remember. The last time I got a nasty stomach bug was in January, 2002. It was horrid. At the time that I was sick and "going out both ends", I wasn't panicky at all. I remember laying in bed thinking..."Man I wish this would go away". So, needless to say, for me...it hasn't helped to be sick. I think I dread it more now. [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img] Charlotte

[donna1216]

I have been phobic since the last time I was sick--and that was 20 yrs. ago, I remember that time I was making deals with God about not v'ing any more!! I have had a couple of stomach bugs, but I didn't v** from them, I had it from the other end (even when other people had v'ed from the bugs) and one time I retched and nothing came out. I have gone through 2 and 1/4 pregnancies--I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my 3rd, and haven't v'ed from that, either, I have done the retching/dry heaving, but nothing ever comes out. I also took too many pain pills last fall when Ihad an abscessed tooth, and I had the dry heaves, but not even the pills have come up. I've also eaten foods that have made others v** and have just gotten diarrhea, maybe you CAN lose the ablility to v****.

[Hale]

I have always had a major dislike for being sick but could only realy say it has been a phobia for 11 years which was triggered by V* on school trip. THis was the last time IT actually happened but I came extremely close in August when I had several bouts of heaving and retching that went on for ages and severe d*. I did handle this well at all and it made my emet a lot worse.

Sorry this post is not more positive

[ontariogirl]

I became ill with e-coli from the water here at the apt.'s. This building had the highest count; instead of warning us they tried to treat the well! This is about 10 years ago I think and I was so sick. The pains in my stomach, the diarrhea with blood and the vomiting. It took over me so fast and I tried to fight the vomiting but I couldn't. The more I was ill the more water I drank. It was coming out both ends so many times in an hour, when I was gagging some came up, mostly it was the gut wrenching heaves, didn't make a difference to me still have the phobia and will never drink tap water again.

[alliecat]

The last time I v*ed was because I had too much to drink. When you're drunk, its not a big deal, you're just like, oop... I think I'm going to be sick, and it just happens. Alcohol suppresses your system completely. But, anyway, I knew it was going to happen, and then of course afterwards I didn't want to be touched or moved away from the toilet because if I had to be sick again, I didn't want to have to run back in there. I mean, so I handled it well, but I think it was because I was drunk. I don't remember really what its like exactly to be sick. I mean, I'm nauseated every day of my life, but I never throw up. So... I don't know.


xoxo


Allie

[bethany]

wow
we're all the same lol
but actually, i've always thought that if i finally did i wouldnt' be afraid anymore. damn..i guess that's not the case. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]it's been a lot of years.. andi 've always wondered the same thing. bummer...so we;ll always be afraid unless we jsut miraculously come out of it...wow...i never came to terms with this actually being something i will deal with my whole life...i have been phobic for probably 15 years or so.






let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel and
break these callouses off of me one more time

[bethany]

p.s. knock on wood

[redapple]

i appreciate all of your replies[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]. what i'm really worried about isif it's actually going to be as HORRIBLE as i imagine it will. that's what i'm always wondering.

[rcurran]

The last time I v****** was about 2 years ago, and just like Allie, I was very drunk. I can still remember it, very clearly, and I remember afterward feeling a little better, but only because I had gotten all the alcohol out of my system. It was a horrible experience though because I didn't make it to the bathroom. Well actually we were in a hotel room, me, my mom, my aunt, and my best friend. I remember laying on the bed feeling very sick, but of course I try to hold it back, then I knew I couldn't. I made it to the bathroom,but not in the sink or toilet, but all over the floor. It was really bad. I was so embarased too my aunt was behind me rubbing my back, I was just thinking please don't watch me. I prefer to be alone when I do it. I think it's embarrassing. I'm not sure why. But I do know that I really hate v******* and I really am more scared of others doing it.

[carlie]

I had the stomach virus in October of last year for the first time in 20 years. Got it from my son. The v part wasn't as bad as I had built it up to be in my mind. However, the stomacheache/nausea that came with it was.


SinceI believe I was born with this phobia, every incidentinvolving "it" I thinkto myself "it wasn't as bad as I had expected." However,once I'm well again, the fear comes back as strong as ever. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[roxi27]

I had a bug in Jan of 2003. It only lasted a few hours, although
I was sick every 15 min. It wasn't fun, but not as horrible as I
built it up to be. the stomach cramping was worse. And to
answere you question, it didn't make my emetophobia better or worse.

[e-lizabeth]

I think what we can learn from this is what I learned from my therapist - that it's not the actual vomiting that we're afraid of....the vomiting just symbolizes something for us or triggers a panic reaction but it could just as easily be flash floods (my therapist treats someone for a fear of flash floods) or spiders or ladders or something that doesn't freak us out at all....that's why it's a phobia - it's irrational and has very little to do with the actual object of the fear.

[hankypanky]

I was wondering the same. Shouldn't I just...do it? I don't know. Maybe it will help, but I don't want to make things worse

[parrotxoxo]

I had food poisioning about 11 years ago. I knew I was feeling really horrible at work. When I got off work, I was in total panic mode, because Ive had food poisioning before, adn I KNEW thats what it was. I drove straight to the hospital ER. They hooked me up to IV's, gave me a shot for my panic attack, and some anti-emetics, but I KNEW what was going to happen. They basically told me that food poisioning has to run its course, and then I will be fine, so they sent me home. I walked in the front door, through the livingroom, and stopped dead in my tracks in the diningroom. My boyfriend was standing in front of my about 6 feet away.....he looked at me and said "oh my god" ...he ran for a towel, but it was to late.......I had to get new carpet. That was the last time, and I'd rather die, than ever do it again.

[helsbels]

I haven't v* for 18 years!! I think I've re-wired my brain now so that the v* centre is bypassed... :-) Seriously, I think I've lost the ability to do it. I occasionally retch when I get a severe stomach bug but that's all, nothing comes out.

[flyaway]

I've been an emetophobe for 19 years. I hate getting sick and when I
do I have all this anxiety beforehand and then when it happens I kick
myself because it was not that bad. When it's happening it feels like
slow motion but also feels kind of normal. Then afterwards I am
relieved but my fear never goes away. I have the same anxiety the next
time. I never want to go through it and I undestand since it's been so
long for you it's hard to know how to handle it.






Pray you won't have to but if the time comes you will survive. It's
never as bad as you imagine if you can hold onto that for comfort. I
promise.

[vartan_fan]

i thankfully haven't been sick for 3 years now! The last time that it happened i was in a cathedral at a Carol Service with the school and i started to feel a bit funny! So a teacher took me into this other room and i sat there for what felt like hours and theni was so sick. it's made my phobia worse though, because now everytime i go into the cathedral i have flashbacks of that night and i start to have a panic attack just thinking about it. And i know that if it happens again, wherever i am it will only make me worse!

[flying finn]

I haven't been sick for 20 years though I have really annoying nausea and tummy ache quite often. Probably it's just my mind that makes me feeling ill. Three years ago I had a little surgery and when I woke up, I started to feel sick. I had the waterysensation in my mouth and then I started dry heaving. It wasn't actually so bad that I had thought, but I was so tired and aching that I couldn't bear it so I called the nurse and she gave me some very strong anti-emetic medicine which is usually used on patients with cancer - and it worked immediately. Maybe I should just have to face it but I wasn't able to think clearly in that condition. [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[bkyle]

I v*ed two years ago, a reaction to an antibiotic. I was just relieved that after 25 years having not done it, I knew when it was going to happen.

[kate]

I v last year, after drinking myself into a stupor and eating a bottle of valium (which obviously sounds like a bad idea now, but didn't at the time...go figure)





ANYWAY, I ended up passing out on the floor and v a couple times. I called for my mother and she came and dragged me to my bedroom and lay me on the floor (did I mention I was naked? haha) and put a small garbage can beside me. I eventually passed out, and woke up sometime in the middle of the night to pee, then heaved a few times, and you know what, it felt GOOD! I hardly remember anything from that night, but I do remember the heaving not feeling bad at all.





11 years before I v from the flu, and it was a very scary traumatic experience, probably why I'm now phobic.


I must say though, I'm much prefer to be drunk and high if I'm going to v then sober.





And that is the end of my stupid stupid story!

[ejb199]

Kate - i totally agree with being drunk before v*in!! its soooo much easier since u dont really have a clue what is going on and it just happens....and u have no time to panic or worry - coz it just is.

altho now i dont ever wanna be drunk a v* again - but it def beats 'ill/bug' v*ing any day!

ems x

[helsbels]

I sometimes wonder if I should get drunk and v* as it wouldn't be as bad, but I have been drunk enough to v* a few times but I don't seem to, I never feel s*, I just pass out and then the next day I feel so n* for the entire day and that's ten times worse because I'm then sober but I feel absolutely terrible. Also, with alcohol if you drink too much and then don't get the poison out of your system it can actually do you a lot of harm so I try not to get that drunk.

[guineaash]

I was sick a little over three years ago.. I do agree that I usually build it up to be more than what it actually is, although being sick is still terrible. The worst part is when I get even small stomach aches, I get bad anxiety attacks. Oddly enough, once the nausea passes, the attack stops almost immediately