Curious

[kimmiekoko]

I was just curious as to how many other women on this site have kids? And if so, how in the world did you ever get through it?
I am 45 and have never had any kids and one of the biggest reasons was this fear. There have been times in my past that I've entertained the thought of wanting a kid but then as soon as the reality of what is involved with it I run the other way quickly thinking no way could I handle that. I also had an extreme fear of gaining weight as I was also anorexic for years and I knew that getting pregnant would mean gaining weight and then the fear of not being able to lose the weight afterwards.
I don't know I guess I'm just full of fears!
But all these fears were always so real to me, very terrifying but to others it sounded as if I was somewhat selfish.
There is no possible way to make another human being understand unless they've lived it themselves.

[IceMaiden]

I'm only 19 but I know I never want kids, if I got morning sickness, I wouldn't eat a thing, and I wouldn't go near the baby if it had d* or s*, I can't even stand baby s* even though I know it's not catching, it's just not fair on the poor kid, me being freaked out when it was s* might also cause it to have the same fear as me and I would never want that for my child.

[Amone]

The thought of having kids really freaks me out. I have never seriously considered trying to get pregnant. Morning sickness, giving birth, taking care of children who are unwell, sending children to daycare and school would be far too scary. I can picture myself being less phobic than I am today, but children ... no. I admire people who are scared but do it anyway and find ways to cope.

[Fizzysid]

I'm only 16, and my fear is deep-set and pretty serious...

However I know I want kids between 20 and 26. I have a funny feeling that my compassion and determination will knock me out of it a bit. Besides, with supportive people around you, it probably wouldn't be so bad. You might get used to sick, or have someone else help out if it happened.

Don't get me wrong, the prospect terrifies me, but I've decided to punch this phobia in the face before it ruins my life.

[Amone]

Fizzysid - you go girl! If you want to have kids in the future, go for it and keep looking for ways to cope, even if it's difficult.

The thing with me is that I don't feel that I want to have kids. I'm kind of "OK" with being too scared.

[cactusinmyhead]

Im 17 and my phobia is pretty serious, but Im pretty sure I want kids at some point. The morning sickness may happen, or not, but sometimes I feel like if I just v* and realize it isn't that bad I will get over it. If you want kids maybe you can ask your doctor if there is any medicine to help with morning sickness and just let the father deal with the kids when they get s*. But if you actually just dont want kids, then dont have kids.

[heyadelaide]

i like to think that I won't ever get morning sickness and that my husband will clean up any "messes"

[heyadelaide]

i'm in my twenties though and not even seeing anyone now, but I do know kids are in my future and I'm not going to let this stupid thing stop me.

[PinkPirate]

Im nearlly 30 now and Id like kids one day, Id like to think I could cope if they ever became ill and my partner could support me if I freaked a little
tbh, because I want children and the whole morning sickness, kids getting ill it kind of pushes me to want to get better

[kimmiekoko]

Every time I've ever gotten really close to deciding on kids my mind would come up with these scenarios of different situations where I would have to deal with the sickness of the kid, situations where there wasn't anyone available to take over.
And sometimes I think that the times I have gotten sick, once I get to that awful moment when it happens, afterwards I always seem to feel like it's really no big deal, its over with pretty quick and I'm still here and survived. The same with if someone I live with gets sick, its usually pretty quick and then I see that I handled it when I thought I couldn't, granted I did some panicky things I still got through it okay.
I finally got to the age where I gave up with the kid thing, way past the ideal age.

[olschesky]

i'm 58 and passed on the whole kid thing myself because of this stupid phobia.......i'm ok with no kids......my friends kids have always been around,etc.....

my hat goes off to all the women here that were able to have kids ......you're all great heroes to me

[lisalulu]

I have a 7 month old daughter. I braved morning sickness to have her because I wanted her more than anything else in the world. She spits up constantly and it only took me a couple days to get used to it and now I barely even notice. I've changed her sheets twice today because she v* on them. The times she's been s* so far I've picked her up and held her and cleaned her up. My first thoughts were "I hope she doesn't choke" and "What if she's as afraid as I am when I v*? I better make her feel better." My fears were secondary. She's only been s* from indigestion so far and what worries me is when she's contagious. I'm trying to beat this phobia NOW before she gets her first sv* because although my husband is totally supportive and would take over, I'll never live with myself if I'm not the one in there holding her close as she cries and v* and needs the reassurance I must have lacked. She's everything to me, and despite my extreme terror she's worth so much more.

[TMYERS]

I have had three children. I had morning sickness with all of them but never vomited. Nor did I vomit in labor which was a HUGE fear the whole time. Many people don't know that it is fairly common to vomit during labor...so scary anyway I forced myself to go through this. I refused to let my phobia ruin my life...and I thought it would change me and "force" myself out of this phobia...well...it didn't really do what I wanted it to do....by child number 3 I was severly under weight and couldn't eat during the pregnancy crying all the time about my hurting the baby and not being able to "snap out of it"...anyway I have to end on a positive note. Though going through having kids didn't stop my phobia...it made me way more aware of it and how it infects my whole life. The kids get sick all the time and I freak out ALL the time...but for them I now WANT to change and don't want them to be like me and want to live as full of a life as I can. They have been a part of the healing process and I am very grateful to have them.....but that's just my perspective...hope it helped more than hurt...

[ann32]

I have 2 children and to be honest they were both unplanned and being sick never crossed my mind while pregnant. I felt a litte n* for 2 weeks at night around the 4th month but then it went away. i do want a third but i have to tell you i am scared for that one bc my 1st 2 pregnancies were so amazing, that i cant believe the 3rd one would be as good. So I may not have a 3rd bc of this phobia...but I will tell you something funny, with both deliveries I was feeling little n* bc I wanted to do it naturally without any pain meds and it was so funny bc both of my babies were a month early and I had super fast labor and deliveries and the nurses kept laughing at me bc I was n* during pushing and I had to stop ushing bc I started crying that I thought I was going to be sick. hahaha. It never happened, but I think it was just all the adrenaline...giving birth to me is the most amazing experience totally worth everything you feel. Although it would be better without morning sickness!

[elaine]

I haven't thrown up with any of my 3 pregnancies. I think it is rare for an emetophobe to actually throw up. from pregnancy. I know I felt nauseated but my vomit continence was rock solid.
Having kids has made my phobia so much worse because you never know when they are going to get sick and kids are so germy. I am in a tough spot right now because I drag them along with all of my avoidance behaviors (not letting them play in germy places, etc).

[AnimatedFreak101]

I'm still debating over whether or not I'll have kids in the future. For a while, I only wanted to adopt. But now, I've just been starting to reconsider the whole thing. Only things that really stand in my way are:

1. Morning sickness - that's the obvious reason
and
2. I also have Asperger's Disorder, and there's a chance of passing that on...they may even have it a LOT worse off than me. :/

I'm just not sure yet. But I've got plenty of time ahead of me! I'm only 16 after all. XD

[annette]

I was pregnant when I was 17, & had no morning sickness. I couldn`t believe my luck, until I caught a s**v at 3 months, so I wasn`t so lucky after all, I knew it was too good to be true.

[kimmiekoko]

I often look back to when I was in my 20's and wonder if I had stood up to this fear and decided to go ahead and have a child if that might have forced me to overcome this problem since I would have had to deal with those issues. But even if it would have done that the other serious issue I would have had today is the fact that I was married to a couple losers and the kid would have had to go through too much emotional trauma.

[x...RaChE...x]

I'm fourteen and one day I'd like a kid... only one though else i wont be able to cope, the morning sickness... well if i get it i hope my future husband will be there for me and it might even ease the phobia a little and if the kid gets sick well again my future hubby will help

[brookeb]

My husband and I really want kids, I'm 30 so I feel like i am really ready, but I am scared. I know I will just have to cope with the morning sickness if I get it. Its the kids getting sick that scares me the most. I hope I can deal with it. I have alot of family support around so I think that will help.

[Elski]

I have a 15wk old baby. I used to think I would never be able to get through pregnancy due to morning s* but I did. I coped even though I felt awful every day for around 7 weeks. Then my next anxiety was v* in labour, I thought I wouldn't get through it but I did. I felt n* in labour but didn't v*. Now I'm panicking about all the sv's she's going to bring home from nursery/school and how I'm going to get through it. Yes, it'll be a huge challenge and it's bound to be horrendous in parts.... but I'll get through it. I hope

[nicole1981]

i never planned on having a child but when i was 21 i got pregnant. i did have some n* in my second trimester if i remember correctly..so many smells made me n* and i did lose weight during that time bc alot of times i barely ate bc i was scared to get sick. thank God that didn't last bc i would feel so guilty bc i knew i wasn't just eating for myself. OH finding a prenatal vitamin that didn't make me n* took about 5 different pills..that was bad. then during delivery i was very scared to get sick but i didn't. i remember feeling very n* at one point but i think i stuck a mint in my mouth even though i was only supposed to have ice chips. and then of course once my son was in day care there was a whole new world of sv* to worry about..i never minded the spit up but anytime he did get sick i was fighting myself not to run away bc i felt bad for him and didn't want him to be scared. truly terrifying. he is 6 now and it is the same.. i cant wait till he's older and just handles that part himself lol but in the end I wouldn't trade any of the terrifying moments ive been through with him for anything. he is my world and im so happy he's here

[afraid213]

im 20, and am pregnant with baby number 3.!!! although i do think with everyone of my pregnancies, " im never doing this again!!" i always get over it. still a little sick with this pregnancy, i think most of the N* is caused by stress and anxiety!!!

[mvanessa]

I have decided not to have my own kids. I would love to adopt. But between this phobia and other health conditons I have, I have decided aganist my own biological children.

[Jusagi]

I'm 21 years old, and have asked myself so many times whether or not it would be worth it to have kids. I love kids. I've been a baby sitter for years, and would love to take care of my own kids one day.
However, I am terrified of not being able to handle them being sick. Infants I can handle, but not when they get a little bit older.
I also have a lot of problems of my own, like depression and stuff, and I would hate myself if I ever passed that on to my kids. (In which case maybe I would adopt a child?)
I just hope that my future husband will be a big help, and I also want to try to get better about this phobia. It's taken me years, but I've made slight progress on my own, and I want to try as hard as I can to get over this fear.