Thinking about what we are actually scared of

[vixki]

One of my therapists once told me that all fears/phobias stem from a fear of dying - it's like every time we are scared our minds consciously or unconsciously creates a path towards dying - he used spiders as an example:

Spider in room --> spiders are sometimes poisonous --> what if this spider is poisonous? --> what if it bites me? --> what if I get poisoned --> what if I die?

So you see how a simple spider in a room can lead to fear of dying.

But does emetophobia work like that too? I haven't ever noticed that I'm scared that being sick will make me die - as far as I'm aware it's just the act itself i'm scared of.

Well, what does everyone think?

[lizpuff]

My husband and I just talked about this. At the time I was calm and rational and thought that I don't honestly think I am going to die when I am s*. Maybe what that therapist said could be true on a subconscious level or something. But even thinking about it right now, when I am in the midst of a panic attack I am not worrying about dying at all. Just the n* and v*

[DJEskimo]

This might be a little graphic:

I remember one time when I v*, I was super worried that I would suffocate, and I had to cough to get everything up/out.

I've also heard stories of aspiration (when v* gets into lungs), and that's very serious and often deadly. It really doesn't happen unless someone just got out of surgery and still looped up from the drugs so their gag reflex doesn't work and they physically can't cough (and even then, they're in a hospital which makes it very easy to fix/treat).

[cactusinmyhead]

Im scared of it because I dont know what will happen and I might die. Whenever I feel n* I usually faint from fear. And if I actually v*ed after passing out, I could drown in my own v* and possibly die. So its laid out as a real possibility for me....

[cactusinmyhead]

When I get really scared about catching the sv* or food p* theres something in me that even wants to kill myself so I wont have to go through all of the v*ing. So my fear makes me have suicidal thoughts sometimes, I wouuldnt ever actually do it because I really like being alive but sometimes I just dont want to be alive just so i dont have to vomit

[pretendworld_]

For me emetophobia is more of a fear of the unknown, since it's only ever happened twice in my life. It's reallllly foreign and scary to me. I don't think I'm scared that it will kill me or anything although I'd probably *want* to die if it ever happened again! Interesting theory though...hmm, I'm massively scared of cockroaches - but I know they won't kill me? Like I am deathly afraid and will scream, hyperventilate and cry if I see one. Silly really.

[alexikiss]

Interesting. Good to make us think about this...

When I think, "What would happen if I had to v* or if someone else v*ed?" I immediately answer, "Ugh, I would die!" Do I literally believe this? No. But that's what I'm telling myself as used as an expression. Maybe that is not a good thing.

Maybe some of us don't fear dying as much as fearing the sheer panic/terror of the moment, or just being traumatized...or not being able to escape?

[Amone]

When I was young I was indeed afraid of dying while v*, but now (on the conscious level, god knows what's going on unconsciously!) - I just find the act itself terrifying and disgusting. The feeling, the sound, the smell. I also don't like to lose control and the thought of other people seeing or hearing me v* is really difficult to deal with. If I have to v* I'd prefer to do it all alone on a sunny day out in the woods, where nobody would ask me how I was and there would be no need to clean anything up afterwards ... just walk (or crawl) away and feel the fresh air.

[icicledreamz]

I've thought about this ALOT..Im not afraid of dying, I think for me im afraid of the way im feeling, the fact that i cant control the way my body is feeling, that i cant make myself feel better. Im afraid of the nausea, not being able to take care of myself. Feeling so horrible and having to just deal with it. Sitting there wondering if it will happen again. Also v* to me seems unreal, i put it out of my mind so much, and avoid doing it, it almost doesnt exist to me.

[vixki]

See I agree with all of you who've said it's the act itself you fear, and not at all dying from it.
But the thing is fear itself is a very animal instinct - that's the reason we get all the anxiety 'symptoms' because our bodies are preparing for something terrible to happen. Now a long time ago this would have helped early humans who lived in the wild to keep themselves safe, racing heartbeat and rapid breathing to run faster, often the need to poo and the nausea - firstly it empties your body since when your body decides it needs to get away fast it shuts off other things going on such as digestion, and also this would repel any potential predator.
Well what I mean is fear is a totally natural reaction when faced with a terrible danger... but, although it feels like it to most of us, vomiting isn't. But somehow when confronted with it the fear mechanism in our bodies sets in.
I wonder what really causes it. The simple answer would be that every emetophobe encountered a traumatic experience with it when they were young and still developing the knowledge of what to be scared of. But I don't remember any such incident and I know most emetophobes don't.
Another thing I thought of is whether it's to do with the way we were brought up - that, of course not deliberately but somehow - we were almost conditioned into believing that vomiting is scary and something to be scared of - a bit like (and i'm sorry I can't remember names right now) the little boy who was conditioned to fear all white fluffy things because he came to associate them with something bad.
Or, is it just something that is wired into our brains? I don't know enough about phobias to know how they work - how, say some people are scared of heights, some aren't, some scared of spiders, while others aren't, and the same with emetophobia. I suppose some people are born with more likelihood of developing a phobia than others, but how that phobia is determined I don't know... whether it's just luck for sone people that they are scared of sonething they'll never encounter, while we struggle every day, or whether it's all already programmed in our brains...
Well I'm kind of just thinking out loud (er, or in writing?) here but I think it's a good thing to think about, if only to try and understand ourselves more!

[irish_grrl76]

For me emetophobia is more of a fear of the unknown, since it's only ever happened twice in my life. It's reallllly foreign and scary to me. I don't think I'm scared that it will kill me or anything although I'd probably *want* to die if it ever happened again! Interesting theory though...hmm, I'm massively scared of cockroaches - but I know they won't kill me? Like I am deathly afraid and will scream, hyperventilate and cry if I see one. Silly really.

I am exactly the same with roaches!

[alexikiss]

I think it really is a fear of the unknown at times. I also do think it is a control issue. I think that no matter how it was originally triggered, that is probably what it boils down to for everyone.

I also found this on Wikipedia and it makes sense:


Dr. Angela L. Davidson et al. conducted an experiment where it was concluded through various surveys that people suffering from emetophobia are more likely to have an internal locus of control pertaining to their everyday life as well as health related matters. A locus of control is an individual’s perception of where control comes from. Having an internal locus of control means that an individual perceives that they have their own control over a situation whereas an external locus of control means that an individual perceives that some things are out of their control. She explains how this phobia is created through the locus of control by stating, “Thus far, it seems reasonable to stipulate that individuals with a vomiting phobia deem events as being within their control and may therefore find it difficult to relinquish this control during the act of vomiting, thus inducing a phobia.”

Regarding the "unknown" - I've felt a lot better after coming to this site and reading responses about things I had been very fearful about. Knowing the facts or other people's experiences make me feel better because it changes whatever I had imagined in my fears.

[vixki]

That's so true actually, for me at least. If I do work in a group I like to be the one in charge, not because I think I'm a good leader or anything just because if I'm in charge then I can veto descisions and stuff if I need to. And I always have to know what is going on, I spend ages Reading news sites and I know so much about current affairs, I don't know why really it's just a need to know things.
And I guess on this site so many of us post like 'omg my stomach hurts on the left side underneath my ribs what can it be?' whereas most people would just think 'oh dear, stomachache, I'll go to bed' we seem to have a need to know exactly what our bodies are doing.

[sage]

I think the fear of death is mostly subconscious. It's like our bodies are terrified of death - giving us adrenalin, pounding heart, sweating, etc....but our minds are not. Usually we say it's not logical to fear vomiting because it isn't dangerous except in rare situations where you're drunk and passed out or whatever. But our logic centres in our brains can't seem to talk to our fear centres. That's the real problem.

[dixy]

I have thought about this a lot too.. One of my earliest memories (aged 5) is v* all over the new lounge carpet as a child and my mum shouting at me to get to the toilet. I hate the idea of v* in front of people and making a mess. I am NOT blaming my mother for my phobia, but I am sure that experience didn't help.

My youngest daughter had v* episodes when she was younger (later diagnosed as childhood migrane) It would start very suddenly and continue for several hours. I was absolutly fine with it, maybe because I knew it wasnt catching! My husband would fuss and worry about the mess everywhere, but I try really hard to be calm around them and lay towels everywhere.. which I just put straight in the washing machine. I really don't want them to have this awful fear I have!