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  1. #1
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    I was just thinking about my lifetime experiences with v* in general, like before I became emetophobic. My emetophobia started at age 11 when someone got sick on a ride I was on. My brothers were on the same ride, but they weren't affected at all. I, on the other hand turned into a shaking, nervousmess. I think it was aggravated by the fact that my parents wouldn't let me leave the amusment park and acted like it wasn't a big deal. I am ahugecontrol freak and this was the first major situation I felt like I had no control over whatsoever.


    Anyway, back further in the past, I can remember just about every v* of other people around me. The first one (outside of babybro spit-up) was in kindergarten when this girl sitting on the floor near me put her hand to her mouth and v*. For a long time after that, I was kind of obsessed with v* - I would go into the bathroom, fill my mouth with water and pretend to v* as I pressed my hands over my mouth. I definitely wasn't scared about it, but it became an obsession. For years after, I always had a plan of what to do in case I needed to v*. This is really gross, but I always kept my shirt tucked in so that if all else failed, I could open the collar and v*. I also got these episodes where I felt sick (I know now they are panic attacks) and I would go to the bathroom frequently and perform this ritual of looking at the pattern of the tiles on the floor in different ways to stop the nausea.


    Anyway, my thoughts are that I had this big obsession, but there wasn't necessarily a very negativeaspectto it until that ride when I was 11. I was one of those kids who would ask a friend what color their v* was when they were sick, and I distinctly remember taking a poll of my 2nd grade class to see if they had ever v* at school.So, all of a sudden, this morbid fascination morphs into such an intense phobiabecause all of my neutral feelings about v* turn into strongly negative ones after that one terrible experience. Anyway, that's me analyzing myself. Do you guys have any thoughts on that? What were your feelings about v* before you became an emet?
    No life is wasted; the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

  2. #2
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    I never feared vomiting at all until I got v'ed on when I was 7 - the same year, a couple months earlier, I myself v'ed after eating an orange on an empty stomach.What happened was, the girl looked scared, so I asked her what was wrong, and she turned to meand instead of speaking, she v'ed on me. The reason I became phobic, I think, is because when I got v'ed on, the girl who did it was crying hysterically and just plain terrified, and no one else seemed to care. No one cared that I got v'ed on, either. As a child, I didn't understand why no one wouldconsole this poor girl. She was so scared, and it wasn't a big deal to anyone.


    That same year, we had a Green Eggs and Ham day in class, where the teacher read us the Dr. Seuss book and brought in green colored eggs, green bagels and green ham. A girl in my class ate, and ate, and then, v'ed all over the table with the food on it. While she was getting more food. Since then, I haven't been able to read Dr. Seuss (although I have no problem watching it, eg. The Grinch) or eat eggs. I never ate ham to begin with (not Kosher) andbagels just don't bother me for some reason.


    Those are my twoearliest experiences where I was afraid.In the first incident, I just ran to the bathroom and cried, but the second one, I went and hid in the reading corner until the teacher called my sister to come pick me up since I wouldn't move. And ever since then, that's what I've felt like doing every time I'm scared - going and hiding in my room until it all passes.


    ~Rebeccah
    Love is the only rational act.

  3. #3
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    I had my desk V***** on in school when I was 5. I had to walk that little girl to the office while she cried and shook, to ask for maintenance to come clean my desk. That was my first memory of the fear. I remember my teacher walking me to my car and telling my mom that there was something wrong with me, that I hadn't shown emotion the all day and she thought it might have been because a child V***** on my desk. I remember being afraid and more afraid when the teacher walked me to my car and told my mom what had happened...even shamed because I felt I was in trouble.
    But morning sickness and my child being hopitalized for V****** is what has made me a full emet. Its very different now! The fear takes over!

  4. #4
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    The first time I can ever really remember being afraid of v- was in fourth grade, so I must have been 10 or 11... We were taking ISTEP tests, which are these really boring tests where you fill in multiple-choice bubbles all day long, and our desks were scattered throughout the room. We had just finished a huge section of the test and were about ready to go to art class, when I looked down at the floor near my desk, and saw it... I hadn't heard anything, so I was quite shocked, and immediately turned around, shut my eyes, held my ears, held my breath, and proceeded to freak out. Eventually I realized that since I wasn't facing her, I could open my eyes... and I saw people trying to look around me to watch this girl v*! HOW REVOLTING!! This blew my mind... never in my life had I ever willingly watched someone do that. So we went to art class, and all through the class I was very freaked out and shaky, but I tried not to let anyone know. I remember telling someone I was afraid to go back to the classroom, and they asked me "why?" like I was crazy. Then, for days, there was that big wet spot on the carpet [img]smileys/smilies_30.gif[/img] A grim reminder...


    Before that, I remember other people v-ing, but I was never afraid.I can't even really pinpoint anything that would have made me so afraid, except maybe that I knew it bothered my dad a lot, and I picked up on it and made it a thousand times worse. Oh, the joys of emetophobia *sigh* Nothing like uncontrollable and irrationalfear to brighten up your day! [img]smileys/smilies_29.gif[/img]


    -Zach-

  5. #5
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    siafi: i think for me v* was kinda an obbsession, i too used to ask wot colour peoples vomit was and used to look out 4 patches on the floor and see how long it took for them 2 wash away...i think there is a thin line between obbessions and phobias as i can remember every film with vomit in and where it was in he film, person i have seen vomit, place i have seen sum1 vomit and im sure emetophiles can also remember all these things and just like emetophiles it is someting that is always on our minds...mayb 'they' also had an experience as a child they created a reaction (adrenaline rush etc) but they interpreted this as excitement whereas we interpreted it as fear...altho i think even wen i was obbsessed i was also very scared...i think its childhood curiosity about being unable to control sumthing...i sumtimes think if only i hadnt been such a curious child i wudnt have this phobia as if sum1 was ill by me i wud look at them (kinda like ppl who watch car crashes i suppose) even tho it freaked me out...man this phobia is so difficult to work out lol...wotcha think? am i talkin crap agen lol

  6. #6
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    It's amazing how looking back into the past can help you rationalize the present. I never really had thought too much about my feelings about v* before the incident on the ride, but now that Iam thinking about it, I agree with missgoddess that there is a very thin line between obsession and phobia. I still don't really understand how my brothers walked away unaffected while I got stuck battling this phobia. It's so unfair!! Thanks for your thoughts, guys!
    No life is wasted; the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

  7. #7
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    My psychologist tells me that some people are predisposed to OCD and simple phobias due to genetics (half is genetics, half is environment). My mother has depression and a generalized anxiety disorder, and my grandmother had depression as well. Does anyone else have family members that have anxiety disorders or depression?
    Love is the only rational act.

  8. #8
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    my name had depression but it was never diagnosed so we cant b sure and my mom is a real worrier and has claustophobia and also hates v*

  9. #9
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    Good point, Beccah19! I recently found out that my grandma had lots of anxiety. My mom said thatmy grandmaused to get very tense when there was heavy traffic or when she was in a crowded place. Sounds like me!
    No life is wasted; the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

  10. #10
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    My mom has depression now, and said my grandpa had it too. I read with interest your stories about the past. I remember every time in school someone v*d, every time someone at my house v*d, what month it was, and just really vivid memories of that. That shouldn't be something a person remembers!!! So either I had an obsession with it, or a phobia all along. I had a meeting with my therapist last night and she told me that she thinks I'll never get to the point where I'm ho-hum about v*ing, but that we can take away the anxiety about it. Is that good news????
    In memory of the sweetest german shepherd I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you, Duncan. 3/12/02 - 12/19/11

  11. #11
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    My mum is an emet, but I never knew - she hid it so well. I only found out when I told her about my emet last year, after I found out it had a name. When I told her what I do and how I feel, she told me she does exactly the same things! Maybe it is genetic. My daughter had no signs of emet, by the way, but she knows about mine and tries to reassure me.


    Best wishes


    Jill xxx

  12. #12
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    2jo2: thats very good news...2 be honest do u ever wanna be at a point where u 'like' sick...i dont think so! plus most 'normal' people dont particuarly like sick so i dont think u can expect miracles...good luck!

  13. #13
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    Miss Goddess, no I don't ever want to be to that point where I like it!!! I guess that is good news, because all I do ask is that the anxiety and terror is taken away when the situation is there. We're going to start the exposure therapy with the pictures, so hopefully this is the beginning of the end!
    In memory of the sweetest german shepherd I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you, Duncan. 3/12/02 - 12/19/11

  14. #14
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    Go for it, 2jo2 - It sounds like you're really going to make progress. Let us know how it goes for you!!!
    No life is wasted; the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

  15. #15
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    That sound like a good idea, checking up on your relatives anxiety but I don't see most of the people on my dad's side 'cos they all live in different countries and my mum was adopted so I can't go back any further than her.

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