PLEASE help!!

[bethany]

just talkd to my boyfriend, haven't seen him since friday but he is still down with the stomach flu. He has had it for a couple days so if i get it it's going to be bad [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

he doesn't know about my emet yet. and he wants me to come see him this weekend. when i said i didn't want to come, he was upset and even angry. I dont want him to think I dont want to see him, but i couldn't bear to be in his germ filled house as early as this weekend. I would be a nervous wreck. How should i explain to him without sounding crazy??? [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


any advice or reassurance that i still might not get it would be greatly appreciated...already panicky [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[dancingbarefoot]

I find it rather amazing that you have been able to avoid discussing emet with your boyfriend. But my experience has been that unless I am honest with people about what is going on they tend to take things personally when I can't hang out sometimes. If your boyfriend really cares about you though he will be understanding, and learn to come to terms with your emet. Hope that helps a little.


Your fellow emet,


Anna

[alliecat]

Hey There...I think that, no matter how much you don't want to or feel uncomfortable doing it, you need to let him know. It is hard, and he won't ever completely understand because he doesn't deal with it himself... but everyone has something they are afraid of. But if you tell him, it may prevent things like this happening in the future, or if it does happen, at least he will have some kind of an idea why you won't see him... or whatever. You know? Its hard... I mean, when I told my boyfriend, he didn't understand really. I just used to get REALLY angry at him when he got sick... and it was usually because he drank too much. But now, he understands and tries to prevent himself from being sick... especially since we live together lol. I tell him that it means a lot to me. Just let him know. He may be more sympathetic than you think.


xoxo


Allie

[ontariogirl]

Speaking with experience, tell your boyfriend about your phobia, it feels better being understood then the person questioning your actions which brings on arguements with frustration. Once you explain it to him you will feel better believe me it is like a huge weight that has been lifted from your shoulders. I once felt ashamed and alone and when I talked about this I felt so much better and felt a hell of a lot better knowing I am not alone. I am 39, I have had this phobia for 30 years and I finally started talking about this about 3 years ago. Don't keep it in and tell him, take your time and explain it to him, show him this site, print out Sage's information for him to read.


Rhonda

[2jo2]

I waited 11 years before I told my husband about it. I felt scared that he'd judge me, ashamed and like a total fool, until I found this site. I know I speak for most of us when I say we felt as if w'ere the only ones in the world. Honestly, tell your boyfriend, it'll make all the difference in the world. I wish I would have told my husband sooner. Good luck to you!

[donna1216]

I am not ashamed at all to tell people about me emet!!!! I think anyone who knows me knows about IT!! There are a few people who don't get it, but then I just say, "Isn't there anything that you are terrified of?" Most people are afraid of something, everyone but my husband has given me an answer. But, for the most part people understand, because most people are grossed out by seeing/hearing others do it, and most people find doing it themselves unpleasant, at the very least!!

[Jenneh]

i agree... i think it wud be a lot simpler and safer for you to be honest with him. it saves a lot of hurt for you, because he won't get angry when u say u can't visit him.


maybe u cud write it down or smthing, iof u dont feel lke telling him to his face.


if ur not ready to tell him yet, then he'll get over it. he's only thinking of himself, lol.


Jen xxxxx

[harmonygirl72]

Yep, I tell everyone, too! I think it is always a good idea! I get so much support now, it's great! An example: today at school (I'm a teacher) a kid was sick in the office. The secretary actually paged into my room to warn me not to go to the office! How cool is that? I always think it is better to tell as many people as you can! Good luck!


Mary

[bethany]

Wow you guys are great thank you so much for your replies
We have only been dating for about a month so it hasn't really come up yet. I have had to leave a couple times when i'm with him but have never explained why. you are right, i need to tell him, and thanks, Jen, I think i will write it down as i know i would get too embarassed to fully explain it to his face. It's just that in my experience ppl dont take it seriously [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] especially my mother who of all ppl I would think would be understanding.

Again, thank you all so much. It's like i know all of these things but to hear you guys say it is so reassuring. Have a good day all -Megan [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


((((((HUGS)))))))