Hi I am new here!

[imagine_grace]

Hello all My name is Sara and I have struggled with this secretly for 20 years. Recently I have started having severe panic attacks and had to come clean with my Husband and family. I struggle daily with crippling fear and guilt. Guilt for the way it is affecting my family. I have two beautiful daughters 4 and 2 and a boy on the way. I can't be a good mother right now. I have never been under this phobia so badly. It had never affected me this way and I am wondering why I am alive. I feel like I am making my family's life miserable, like they would be better off without me.
I have been reading some of the wonderful posts on here and the success stories give me hope. I am hopeful that you will accept me with my "crazy" and I can help others and get some help myself.
Anyways, so hi!!! This is me and my stuff!!

[hadenough]

Hi Sara,

Im pretty new here too and yep im at my worst ever with this phobia i havent gone a day without it ruling some part of my life
I have 7 kids and most days lately i think they would be much better off without me then having a mum that panics at the drop of a hat and makes them wash their hands so much and change clothes the minute we get home from anywhere thats if i can even manage to leave the house lately.

Anyway im of no help just saying hi

Kerry

[olschesky]

welcome to both of you and congrats on even being able to have kids.......i could never get past the fear of ms and kids getting sv.

you are not alone.......this site has helped me ALOT over the past couple months........hopefully you will find some comfort too......just read and post.....i found that posting my fears makes them seem a little less scary....and that everyone here understands........

i read the confessions this morning and brought tears to my eyes.......they were all me....i'm glad i have people here who "get me"

again welcome and never give up..........we will get over all this

[imagine_grace]

Thank you to you both for saying hi! I just decided to put it all out there and see what happened. I appreciate that you both stepped up and said hi.

[TMYERS]

I am new here too and feeling a little overwhelmed at how to get around on the site. I have also read a lot of stuff that seems so like me...I never knew until yesterday that there was even a name for my phobia....I always thought I was the only one and like you felt that it was such a stupid fear and it was ruining my families life and making me a horrible mother and wife. Currently my kids and husband have the puke flu and I am in panic mode. Hope to find some help and guidance here. If anyone can explain to me in plain english how to post things and get around on the site it would be greatly helpful! Thanks

[val79]

I recognize my phobia now and I decided not to have kids. Their lives would be just as rotten as mine. I feel bad for the mothers who discovered their phobia after having children. I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia. If I had kids and passed these disorders on to them I would want to kill myself. I just worry about surviving everyday and trying to be "normal", whatever that means.

[imagine_grace]

I am glad I had children. Yes they do up the risk factors and cause me some guilt, however, they also love me very much and are very well adjusted. They do not know of my phobia they just think I am clean! LOL Clearly it is your choice but don't rule it out because it is possible and wonderful 98% of the time. Just get a good partner to Father them. My Hubby deals with the t*u* and I deal with poop. It was our deal from the begining!