Gastroparesis and Extreme Anxiety :(

[km2277]

Hello all, I'll share my story so you won't all feel so alone :P

I think anyway.

I have an intense fear of...that. I'm even freaked out if I have the runs or something of that nature because I think it might be the flu.

Anyway, I have Gastroparesis, Acid reflux, and EXTREME anxiety. I am 90 pounds (23 years old, 5 foot 1), and I can only eat one meal a day. After that meal I feel nauseated, bloated, and generally weak/ill. It doesn't matter what I eat, or how much I eat, it happens. This has brought a lot of anxiety on. That's just one problem.

Everytime I go into a department store like walmart or the grocery store...I start feeling sick, dizzy and weak. I don't know why, and it's really crippling. I can't hold down a job, I'm stuck in my apartment 24/7. With all that, the fear comes on, my heart is racing, I'm sweating and looking for things to do with my hands.

My OCD doesn't help much either. If I hear someone is feeling ill around here, I am freaking out. My hands are raw from purell and hand washing, my heart races, yet again, from anxiety, and I'm constantly looking for reassurance. I know you all know how that is...
"Am I going to be ok?"
"I'm not going to get sick am I?"

My parents never understood...they always said things like "So what if you do?"
I've been like this since I was about 11 or 12...The last time I was sick.

My stomach is so messed up now, and it's becoming harder and harder to deal with. The past few days I haven't been feeling well at all, and haven't been able to eat.

Anti-depressents? Out of the question. I've tried 3...And after 3 days or so, this massive wave of nausea, dizziness and weakness hits me like a ton of bricks...I'm unable to walk, talk or move. I can't tell if I was going to be sick or pass out.

I do have some things that I do that help me, that may help some of you.

Find something to do that takes your mind off it COMPLETELY! I use computer games. If I get into it, I get angry at it and completely forget about feeling like crap.

It is a vicious circle, you feel sick for a minute, your mind and heart start racing, which in turn, causes more nausea, and you go into a rapid loop. I've read up a lot on you-know-what...So there are signs to it. Your mouth will start to water, you'll start sweating (hands, feet, etc), you'll get a bit of pain in your lower belly, paleness. Just check. Your mind plays AWFUL tricks on you. I've been to the point where I've had the trash can in front of me, or I've pulled my car over to the side of the road. Shaking, sweating, heart racing saying "please god no". And after I mutter those words, I burp a little, and feel a bit better.

Stress and panic cause gas (which can make you feel really ill). I'm not being funny, it's true. I know all this first hand, and It killed me typing out what happens before you V*...But I just want to reassure EVERYONE about it. It's even bothering me to type this whole thing because it has to do with it. It took a lot for me to post here, so I want to give it my all and try to help people who feel the same way I do.

This phobia has ruined my life completely up to this point. The first step is to be able to reassure yourself. After I went through my parents, I had no one else to go to, no one who understood...So I had to take it on myself. It is possible, but very hard.

That's all I've got to say right now...I'm not feeling well so I think I'm going to go play a game or something. Thanks for reading

[nerdolicious]

We have very similar experiences. As for anxiety meds, i am right there with you about them causing nausea after a few days (which then causes me to panic). I tried three different meds until my doctor finally put me on klonopin. nausea is not even listed as a side effect and to tell you the truth my stomach actually calms down after i take it because it calms the anxiety. it is a fast acting drug similar to xanax so it kicks in within an hour and lasts for about 12 hours. you should talk to your doctor and be sure to tell him or her about your emet so you can get a prescription without nausea listed as a side effect. it made all the difference in the world for me! good luck and you are not alone!

[psalm139]

I am right there with you!! I am also struggling with serious stomach issues. I have GERD and gastritis. I am daily pain. I feel sick all the time. It is hard for me to eat. Though I haven't lost weight like you. I have never been skinny..I'm the one who stays heavy even when I don't eat....I am depressed daily. You are not alone on here!! You are in the right place... you are among friends we all understand. My husband always tells me just get a new mind set..i said if it were that easy I would!! Who wants to struggle with this fear!! I got THREE kids...which right now my daugher is sick right now and they are always sick twice a year they are "v". This fear has gotten worse for me. I even in such desperation last year..completeyl out of the blue tried to kill myself...just to escape the daily pain and fear....and that I feel it would be better for my kids if I was dead so they don't have to see their mom have panic attacks so bad that I end up in the hosptial!!! causing money stress with my husband....I am sorry...I didn't mean to go off there...I guess I wannted you to know you are not alone...

[ddollar]

i have gastroparesis too! it has ruined my life, and i'm wondering if emetophobia has a big part to play in it. i haven't thrown up since i was 10, and because of my GP i spend all of my day suppressing the vomit reflex. literally, like 24/7. i am out of work and living at home with my parents. i have learned to function somewhat by suppressing my digestion while i do other things, but it's very stressful and unhealthy. sorry for your troubles!

[huggy]

Wow I didn't know so many people had Gatroparesis. For me I can be eating and the next thing my stomach feels so bloated, its a real awful feeling. I also have Gerd and I know when I am anxious it never helps. Cant take anti depressants either as they make it all so much worse, what to do?

[ddollar]

hypnosis! probably the best thing other than CBT for anxiety related to digestion. there's a great IBS tape called "ibs audio 100" that would be helpful for emetophobics i think. i have some emetophobia hypnosis audio files too, they're wonderful.

if you truly can't stomach the anti-deppressants, there's 5-htp as a supplement which increases serotonin whereas an anti-depressant recycles it. not the exact same thing but close.