Two steps closer
Ok, I'm quite proud of myself. I'm taking care of two infants and they spit up a lot. I mean A LOT, like projectile; and while it bothered me a lot at first, I'm getting better with it. It still scares me (scared for them, because it can't be pleasant and I'm always afraid they're going to choke) and it freaks me out a bit, but I am able to still interact and love them, when before I would absolutely be repulsed by them and have nothing to do with them. So that's good.
The second step came last night. I was walking around the Innere Stadt last night and past what was most likely a pile of v*. I'm not sure. I kept staring at it, and I can't think of any spilled food or drink that it looked like, but there was a broken cup with it, which either means the person either v* into a cup (which is more likely) or they dropped whatever they were eating. This really freaked me out and grossed me out and I couldn't stop staring at it, but I was able to act coolly and not let it bother me so much that I freaked out. I've been obsessing a bit over it and keep thinking about it, but I'm not crying and I haven't had a panic attack. I feel this is an improvement! I still completely lose it when I feel n* though! I wish I knew what steps to take to help that.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin