I’m sick of it! i hate my life....

[Louise]

I'm totally fed up with being an emet. And i know i can't just suddenly stop if i wanted to! [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


Everyday i feel sick, or worry about being sick.... i must have a sick brain! lol


I just hope i'm not like this all my life, i can't cope.. seriously! [img]smileys/smilies_16.gif[/img]


I try to enjoy life as much as i can, but it's impossable when all you can think about is sick [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]Why me? huh? [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]


It's just not fair..... why can't i be normal? like all of my other mates? [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

Louise NO!! u were doing so well Louise!! dont let it beat you down, come on stay up there in the clouds!!!


ok, i know thats hard, we all hav days where we fall down, im having a whole week of them, but im sure u wont feel lke this for the rest of ur life, ur phobia will have to calm down at least once u get older and more settled, ur only a teenager neway (i think) so ur body is all stressed atm!


i konw the feeling, why me. but, i guess evryone says that, from people who have just been dumped, to people who have just been told that they have 2 days to live. but i totally understand where ur coming from. but try and think of it, this way, u must be such a strong person to b able to cope with this, lke we all are, ur just as unique as ne of ur friends. plus, u seem to be able to enjoy life quite a lot! going to centre parcs and all! seems a lot more than what i cud do!! so, dont give up, you CAN stay on top of this phobia! dont let it get u depressed and hating life too ur worth more than that.


anyway, i really really hope u feel a bit better soon.


do you have MSN or AIM? if so, feel free to add me andwe can have a little chat if u lke.


tke care


Jen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[crazybeautiful]

I know the feeling. I'm totally down and depressed the last few days. I feel like I hate my life. I know I have alot to be grateful, but I can't see it right now. I just feel like crying all the time. I don't want to go out anymore. My friends stop calling. I just don't know what to do with myself.

[Louise]

Thx for replyin! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Jen, thanks for that, you've made me feel better [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]i suppose i was coping, but it's since i've gone back to school.. being stuck in classrooms not able to cope, or have any control! And i've especially worried today, because i was at my grans for Tea, and it was quite yukky tonight, and with her just recovering from a sickness bug (she always manages to food poisen herself! lol [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]so i was a bit worried!)


Anyway, you can add me on MSN at: [email protected] [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[missgoddess]

another thing is i bet ur mates have or will have some problems...whether it be family problems, smaller phobias, panic attacks or depression they r bound to suffer sum sort of psychological problem at sum point in there teenage years... i thought my friends were all 'normal' wen i was about 14 and i was the nly one with issues but one of my friends went thru depression, one has really bad nerves, another stresses really bad at exam time (like REALLY bad) another hates exm halls and faints/gets sick...every1 has things that make them tick...but just to different extents and sum hide itbetter than others...hope that helped a bit

[Louise]

yeh, i see what ya mean....


but all my mates just seem so.... urm.... boring! lol [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]well they're not, they just never have any problems! not even boy problems!! [img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]My best friend, she said she is scared of ghosts and the ocean.... but it doesnt ruin her life does it? [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]And she doesnt seem the type to get depressed about anything... i've never even seen her cry! [img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img]

[missgoddess]

trust me im sure they will not always be so 'boring' as i sed at one point i was the only one with any 'issues' but now every1 has sumthing that affects their lives


ps i have big red blotches on my face and a big one on my nose!! AHHHH

[Jenneh]

Louise, i know wot u mean about school, but u no the ONE thing that has really calmed my nerves? the fact that my teachers have been told to let me out the classroom weneva i want wihtout ne questions. jsut having that thought has STOPPED all panic attacks i used to get in classrooms, because i no IM IN CONTROL, thats a BIG factor for me. so mayb u think about doing that?


just a thought.


[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Jen xxxxxxxxx

[Louise]

theres no point... i'm leaving there in a few weeks [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Except i have my gcse's.... which i'm totally scared about, because i'm usually the furthest way from the door [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]lol

[Scampi]

Louise - I know exam seating plans are usually done in alphabetical order to make life a little easier for those administering the exam (trust me - it's not easy setting out all those papers, etc, in the right places, when everybody takes different levels these days - I've done it!!), but there is probably a way round it. Does your doctor know about your emet and anxiety? Maybe you could get a doctor's note requesting that your exam seat is near the door (or wherever in the hall makes you feel least anxious)? Or is there a teacher at school (even the exam officer) who you can confide in - maybe you can sort out a more 'comfortable' seating arrangement that way.


And I strongly recommend you get some Bach's Rescue Remedy (sold in Holland and Barratt, and larger Boots) - put a couple of drops on your tongue in the morning of the exam, and a couple of drops again just before you go into the exam hall - it REALLY works (don't worry - it's not tranquillisers, just plant extracts that calm nerves, but leave you alert. Just don't be tempted to drink the bottle - it's an alcoholic solution, but the couple of drops you use contains less alcohol than Panda shandy!!). I used it get through my 'A' levels, driving test, various job interviews, trips to the dentist(!) and my Open University exams and wouldn't be without it. A bottle lives in my handbag, so if I get anxious when I'm out (like when kids around me moan about feeling sick!) I can have a couple of drops and be CALM.


Best wishes


Jill xxx

[missgoddess]

rescue remedy is wicked!!! btw if u ask a kind teacher they may even b able to put u in a seperate room (believe it or not it can b done as long as there are enough teachers 2 invidulate u) or perhaps make sure u r close 2 a door...GOOD LUCK!!! sure u'll b fine

[Abi]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment. I got a note from my doctor about my anxiety and emetophobia problems, and they let me sit my exams in a separate room, and I was allowed rest breaks whenever I wanted. Maybe you should think about it? It does the whole thing less stressful, and lets you concentrate on the exam rather than worrying about being stuck in a bih exam hall.


Abi xxx

[Melikasa]

Aww BIG HUGS,


I know how you are feeling. I have entries into my journal about where I wished it would all be over. It does get better if not so much the EMET your sad feelings. I use to cry myself to sleep every night. I didn't think I would ever reach a point where things would get better. They did though. I still have rough nights yes.


I agree. Get a note from your doctor I am sure there is a way for you to get you in a comfortable sitting place. I brought peppermint oil to the last exam I had to write. The smell is calming and it also stimulates your brain.


BIG hugs be strong. I know from your other posts that you are.

[Louise]

But... if i'm sperated from everyone.. people will start talking about me etc. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]And i don't want to look like an outsider [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]


And i found it really hard to tell my friend, and i haven't told my mam about my emet. yet.... and i'm not gonna tell one of my teachers.. no way! i hate all of them [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]lol


I might try that remedy thing, to calm your nerves... do it actually work? Can you tell if it's working or not? [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]It sounds good.... (but can it be taken with chewing gum too? haha)

[SimplyMe]

Aww, Louise, I'm so sorry you are so down. Don't worry about what everyone else may think, this is for you and then you're done and what will they matter. they dont' need to know the reason you are seperated. Int he event you still get stuck away from the dorr, see if you cna get itno the room before the test (like now or ASAP) and sit down int hat seat you will be in that day, when youa rent' stressed, and no one else is there andyou can easily leave. Plan your "escape route" and just knwoing that may help you. That rescue remedy sounds great too! DO they sell it in the US? lol Anyhow good luck, I'm sure you'll do fine! Try and rememebr another time you were anxious about soemthing and then afterwards things went far easier than expected. There is no reason that can't happen again!

[Jenneh]

Louise i think u are doing the right thing, by seperating urself ur kinda allowing urself to become swallowed up by this phobia, but if you try and beat it instead (i.e. go into the exam room and sit where ur SUPPOSED to) u wil feel a lot more proud afterwards. mayb u cud try it for one exam, and if it really goes badly, see a teacher and ask them if u can move after that exam. thats probably what i wud do, altho, i find once im in there and concentrating on the exam, that was it, my phobia ALMOST went out the window. it was only in my english Lit that it bothered me, but thats becoz english makes me nervous anyway, its so hard and im so bad at it, lol.


btw, good luck on ur GCSE'S!! i did them last year, doing AS levels this year [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]


Jen xxxxxxxx

[Louise]

ta Jenneh! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]I hat eenglish lit too... thats what i'm worst at, it's so boring and just crap! lol


But i survived my mock exams, but that was before i discovered wht my phoiba was called... and now i know loads of people have it etc. its all thats on my mind, that i actually have a problem [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]Before i just thought i didnt want to be sick.... but now, it seems to have got worse now i know it has a name, sounds weird, but it;s true! lol [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]


But usually i manage to take my mind of 'sick' during the exam.... but this time, the exams last about 2 or 3 hours [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

yeah, but remember u can always leave the exam hall and come bk, as long as ur escorted neway.


i got kinda "paralysed" wen i first came to this site. cos i thort... yikes, iv actually GOT this serious problem, and therse no successful cure. but i soon fought that way of thinking out of my head, didnt help me at all, infact, made me worse. so the way i think of it now is, yeah im the same as a lot of people, but there are different levels of severity, how do i no iv got it bad compared to neone else? just makes u remember that u are an individual, and just cos u have this name, doesnt mean u cant stil have a life.


bleh. i really dont make sense, do i?


Jen xxxxx

[Louise]

You make a lot of sense Jenneh! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


I've just had to come upstirs now, because i thought i ws going to be sick.... i went all hot n sweaty and i got all panicky! [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]


I always worry when i'm sat down infront of the TV on a saturday night with my mam... because i was sick once in that same situation [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]So in any situation i have been sick, i always feel uncomfortable when i'm in the same place, time etc. [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

yeah, i know exactly what u mean!


i dread going to bed evry night, cos i was last had my near v* experience there.... =|


annoying, innit? lol


Jen xxxxx

[Louise]

Yup... i was sick during the middle of the nite once..... no..... twice actually!





One time i was a little kid, and i wasnt actually aware i was sick, until i woke up when it was on the floor..... YUK [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]





But

[Louise]

hmm... ok.... i didnt press anything [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]





But the last time i was sick, i made it to the toilet! Woooooo [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img](cos i can never make it to the loo, so thats what scares me i think [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]lol)

[Jenneh]

lol, welldone





Jen xxx

[trickyvicky]

Hi Louise,I couldn't imagine how difficult it is for u with your exams coming up and feeling uneasy about sitting in the exam room....When i took my exams a long time ago i didn't have my emet or aniexty anywhere as bad as i do now....I have learnt to be honest to people about my phobia and aniexty because if u don't and try and hide it ,it just eats u up inside!!!!! If people do not respond well to what u are saying then they are not worth being your friends...They might find it hard to understand but u just need to educate them....And emet's are the best of course because they expereience it on a day to day basis...there are alot of people out there that hide their problems i.e yourself,so u say all your friends don't seem to have problems but they just might not show it.......Don't assume that u are different to other people......Your just a special person with a phobia....I'm agrophobic and have real difficulty getting out of my home the furtherest i go is to the field to take my dog for her walk it's about 2 mintue walk away,i haven't seen a shop in nearly 2yrs so we all have problems but we all deal with it in different ways.........I hope u can bring yourself to have a word with your teacher about sitting either near the door or maybe in a different room and if they say no then just visit your doctor and he can write a note....I'm sure they would rather u sit the exam then 2 have to miss it all together..............My fingers are crossed for u


Vicky xx


p.s have u tried ZEN aswell it's a natural remedy to calm the nerves and i've tried that bach's remedy it can't harm u it just calms the nerves,people use it when they take there driving test thats how little the alchol affects u!!!!!

[Louise]

Well, i might aswell just havea bottle of vodka everyday [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]haha! just kdn

[izzybee]

lol. I always avoid times and places where i V* i v* in the night a few times which realy scares me casue I know that usually i'm ok in the day and can try to control it but at night I have no control. I also have rituals I do to stop me v*!!!! Ihope you are starting to feel a bit better now. how r u???

[Louise]

I'm ok i spose!


Don't want to go to school tomorrow though..... i have ran out of chewing gum and mints [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]lol

[izzybee]

aww no. I'l try and send an e-mint to you!!! *throws mint at computer screen* did you get it???


Sorry, school is awful but think about it you only have a few more weeks left and then you'l be near the end of your GCSE's and starting a subject that you want to do.