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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5

    Default Worries about therapy

    I have a long term therapist, and since I discovered what emetophobia is, and read about desensitization therapy, I've brought up the possibility of doing that with him.

    I think I'm afraid that I'll start associating my therapist with v* and will no longer feel safe with him. It feels sort of silly to go to a separate therapist for this one issue, and I'm not sure how easy it would be to find someone who would understand how very difficult it is.

    Also, I wonder how effective pictures would be. Or even sounds. I learned long ago to cover up my fears. So well that I don't even realize sometimes that I am afraid, aside from a feeling of building pressure. I zone out, I act as if I were ok although my responses may be totally out of sync with what's going on around me. I don't feel anxious so much as still and blank. Then I bolt, and it seems ridiculous to me to run when I can't even say I'm feeling particularly anxious. It all happens so quickly. How would I be able to tell in a fifty minute session whether I'm feeling not anxious and ok, or "not anxious" and not at all ok. I might not realize I'm anxious until I'm out the door. Or until I snap back into focus, so to speak. I can't help but think that my therapist would have to be pretty good at telling when I'm emotionally present because the desensitization could only work if I was.

    I've dealt with this for well over thirty years. I've got layers upon layers upon layers of psychic defenses that helped me cope, but that I fear may also make it difficult to conquer this. I want to be there for my family, though, in a way I can't manage to be right now. When someone is sick I don't want them to have to worry about me leaving the house. I don't want to make all the excuses I make to avoid places where people might possibly be sick, because I end up depriving my family of experiences they would otherwise enjoy. (Trips to amusement parks, etc.)

    I don't know that I'm explaining it at all well. Has anyone dealt with desensitization therapy changing their feelings toward a therapist? Or dealt with dissociation as an anxiety response to emetophobia?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,507

    Default Re: Worries about therapy

    at the moment i am embarking on exposure therapy with my therapist. i dont feel though that i will start to associate the therapist with vomiting tho. the problem for me tho is actually starting with something anxeity inducing. im in the avoidance stage at the mo - i.e i feel ok so why would i want to induce anxiety??! but i know in order to get better, i need to start this properly. from tomorrow - i have a wedding today - lol another excuse not to start et ;-) but yes, from tomorrow, im picking a picture i feel anxious looking at and im sticking with it for an hour each day. yes its a commitment and what not but i have to do this.

    i too want to get where you want to - i.e if a family member is ill, i dont leave or freak out and not eat for days.

    good luck, let me know how it goes.

    emma

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Worries about therapy

    I have a tendency to view things as contaminated. But I'm not sure if his merely being present while I see representations would cause me to see my therapist that way. I do feel uncomfortable and even negative with people who mention it all the time.

    Good luck with your exposure therapy! Is that a single picture an hour a day?

    Dinah

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts
    4,577

    Default Re: Worries about therapy

    Dinah,
    I hope you can talk to your therapist about your fears, just as you've described them here. It will be important information for him or her to help you attain your goals. Your fears are normal, and I think you'll find if you can talk to your therapist about them it will really help your therapy in general.
    Good luck!
    Sage
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    2,507

    Default Re: Worries about therapy

    Dinah, ive found the pictures really arent doing anything for me. i need to get to a level of anxiety and stick with it. i think im going to watch some films, looped over. im kind of procrastinating and putting it off tho.... hmm.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Worries about therapy

    Thank you, Sage.

    I am always very honest with my therapist. It saves an awful lot of time and trouble.

    As it turns out, he doesn't seem at all keen on doing it. He says that if I come up with a treatment plan, and provide all the materials, he'll go ahead and do it. But he seems so reluctant that I doubt I'd find it helpful. Attitude means so much.

    Dinah

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Worries about therapy

    I know what you mean, ejb. In fact, so many tv shows and movies show it without any warning at all, I'm not sure video would do it for me either. Being forced to listen for extended periods of time might. Being trapped is a big part of my fear.

    I have a suspicion that my zoning out not only protects me from the anxiety, it also freezes the anxiety or cushions it where it's hard to get at it. And another suspicion that my problem is as much with anticipatory anxiety than it is with the actual vomiting. Because my mentioning my fear always got such a bad response from my parents, teachers, friends, etc I learned to hide it and find other excuses for my behaviors. I apparently developed a feeling of taboo on talking about it. But that means constantly scanning friends, family, strangers, and surroundings for any sign. And constantly being aware of exit strategies in any given situation. It layers one fear on top of another, and it makes me tired to think of even starting to address it.

 

 

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