I was thinking.........Read this...

[sthlm]

.........Im in CBT at the moment and next wednesday Im gonna go there and take ipacec hand vomit. I have also trained to gag and pretend pjuking, also I have worked a lot with my anxiety wich is almost worse for me than the emet (altough its related, I get panic when I feel sick.)


A lot of you guys wrote and suggested not to go trough this cos I may worsen the emet instead of helping.


I dont know if Im the only one who feels better after pjuking!!?? I mean, when I was sick last fall I felt amazing afterwards, I did it, it wasnt that bad and My emet was gone for severel weeks after I had been sick. You are more scared of the unknown, and us emets don´t pjuke that often and we kind of build up a scenario that its so scary. Of course one year later my brain has forgott that it wasnt that bad and Im really scared again. But dont you think that pjuking under controlled forms and more often can help getting rid of the emet?? I so want to believe this is gonna work, that Im gonna be ok and not have this for the rest of my life.


Im scared to death.


This is not ment to offend anyone with my strong words and suggestions.


LOVE

[sage]

sthlm,


i suggest you do whatever you think you need to do, and want to do, to get better. if you really want to do this then go ahead. i personally don't think it's a very effective treatment because you can't sustain it long enough for it to extinguish the fear. I believe you'd have to puke for days and days and be calm about it in order to extinguish the fear.


but my opinion is irrelevant. sometimes people need to do what they really think will work for them. just don't get discouraged if it doesn't help you. remember that there is good treatment available where you don't have to vomit. i went through extensive treatment and no one ever made me vomit.


good luck!

[snowball]

As for me, i would not ever do that. I don´t have any personal experiments about the ipacec thing, but i´ve read about this. One girl wasn´t cured of it, she didn´t v***t only one time, but several times and she was terrified that it continued (three times). And wasn´t cured and that doesn´t surprise me at all. If you think you are going to v***t only one time, you are wrong. Or maybe you will do it only one time, but you never know. If you want to do this, just do it. Please let us know howit went. I can imagine that you are scared and i admire you courage [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]It may help you or not...





Best Wishes,


*Tiia*

[terified girl]

My question is to Sage, what kind of therapy exactly did you go through, because for me I feel that with therapy i still will never get over this fear.....In your own words I`d love to hear what exactly you went through, and how long its been since this triumph, and are you cured 100%????????


Thanks!

[helsbels]

Well good luck with it, each to their own as they say... and it certainly wouldn't be for me, but do let us know how you get on.


Helenx

[Jenneh]

hmm yeah good luck with that...


i think i wud be OK if i made myself v*, and maybe even for 2 weeks after i'd carry on being OK, but give it 3 or 4 weeks and the phobia will be back with me, because its not the actual act of v*ing im afraid of, its the being out of control asnd being in public wen it happens.


Jen xxxx

[sweetfreak]

I can't speak for sage, but I will tell you what I have learned from my own personal experience. For me, it's not a matter of *getting over* the fear, it's a matter of making it my friend, embracing it. I don't think I will ever NOT be afraid of vomiting, however, I do know that I can choose to let the fear own me, orI canchoose toown the fear. It's like, if someone around me is vomiting, I can let the terror overtake me and end up fighting it, or I can say to myself "Yes, I am scared, but it's not that bad, I can live through it, this fear is a part of me, and running away doesn't make it go away, so I will just embrace what scares me and go along for the ride, because in the end I will be okay."


I hope that makes sense to other people. It does for me. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Edited by: sweetfreak

[dancingbarefoot]

From what I've read it can go either way. One instance I read about the woman didn't v*t at all. She was terribly nauseated for like 3 days, and was coughing up blood from heaving so much. I don't mention this to discourage anyone if they feel it is right for them. But there are no guarantees for the what the outcome will be.


Best of luck STHLM!!! You'll have to tell us how it goes.


Anna

[sthlm]

Ok, thanks for your suggestion. Im not sure I want to vomit, as one of you wrote "you have to vomit often to get cured" and I agree that one time doesnt cut it. It has to be a habit, something that almost gets boring. I dont think that I will ever like pjuking (who does??emet or not) but I won´t spend my life worrying when, where, how ect. I dont want it to be such a big part of my life and I dont whant to avoid stuff cos of the fear.


love

[rhinoseri]

Wow. You are very very brave to be even considering that. I could really never.


Anyways, do what you think would be best for you. If you think you may be up for it, go ahead and give it a try. It may help a bit.

[jazz]

i think that's SUCH a brave decision to make. im very impressed with your "get this over with"attitude, and im sure you're going to survive this episode.
i generally feel better after being sick,which is why i don't understand why im so fearful of the damned incident happening! last time it wasn't so bad, there was just too many times when i had to get up..
we're thinking of you.

[sarahx]

Im not a great believer of making urself vomit to get over tis phobia, but i also believe u have to do what u feel is right for u! But like me and manyothers u say that although emt went away after u last vomited it cam back! So in theory making urself vomit is only temporarily going to help? I just dont want u to put urself hru this for no reason! I believe that i will always be scared of anything vomit related, but its how u react to the feelings and situations that u have to change! And it can bedone! Im doing CBT right now and we are concentrating on exposure, but to situations, not vomit! Im writing a diary and i have to identify where my thoughts have errors in them. ANd how to look at them objectively so they reduce in intensity! Its really working, im going out a lot more, worrying less.


Good luck anyway with whatever u decide, only u know what is right for u!


Sarah xxx

[mbs730]

I thought about doing the ipecac thing myself for a
while but I ended up getting sick anyway... well let me tell you
this... it didnt exactly do anything to my emet. I mean the thing with
me is I am not horribly phobic of myself getting sick, its others! I
could probably get sick everyday and handle it and STILL be very phobic
of others doing it! But it depends on how the emet affects you. I mean
if you are more phobic of yourself than of others type of thing. You
have to do what you feel is right. You dont want to worsen anything
either. Good luck on what you happen to decide.</font>

[sage]

Hi terrified,


My story is at the top of the "experiences" thread. And I can safely say that I am 100% cured, in that whenever I am around vomiting or think I might vomit, I am not the least bit afraid. I do continue in therapy, however, because the phobia is rooted deeply in my childhood experience, and is at the heart of my "core neurosis" as a human being. So in a way, it kind of helps me as a guage to how anxious I am in general, or what triggers there are in this world for me that get at that core stuff.


Not being very clear. My point is that now, in therapy, I can only muster up a mild arousal when I "get at" the heart of my issues by exploring "vomit" issues. At one point in time just hearing the word spoken would throw me into a full-blown panic attack.


What I do in therapy is purposely try to muster up those old feelings, so that I can "sit in them" and sort of "look around" to see what else is going on and what it's tied to. Since I am now a therapist myself, I believe this kind of work is very important as I want to approach all of life with a healthy emotional process. But for the average bear, a good 10-20 hours of therapy with the right therapist and you would get significant symptom relief. It could be true that when your stress level goes up after that you will get symptoms again, so you might have to go back to "top up" the treatment at various times in your life. My approach is to head it off at the pass, so to speak - a preventative thing.


Nevertheless, the treatment does not have to involve actually vomiting. That's ridiculous. It's like saying someone afraid of flying has to be in a crash, or a snake phobic has to be bitten to get over it. It's just not true. However if the client herself wants to vomit to help herself out, then that's up to her. Everyone's different. The problem with phobia is that exposure to the feared stimulus over and over and over, with assured safety, is the cure. So if you eventually can stay in the room with a snake on your for like 2 hours, you're cured of your snake phobia. But that's fairly easy to set up in a treatment situation. Vomiting over and over and over isn't so easy to simulate. Just doing it 10 times on one day wouldn't cure you. YOu'd have to vomit every day for 10 days or something. And why would anyone want to do that? I think therapists who suggest such a thing are out of ideas!

[intuitive1]

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<TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNABLE="off">i agree that its probably to 'wishful' for me to presume that if i just got up and threw up and felt better i'd be over this - i have had this 'locked in' behavioual pattern for so long . my mindset is one which seems unpenetrable and i keep myself safe at all costs- to the detriment of my own being- my fear is really i think a reflection on my lefe- as u said- when i am stressed etc it heightens , if i ever have the pleasure in feeling happy - it lessens- when i am distracted it exists less obviously etc - i shall see the therapist and give it my best shot again!!! i shall not be disuaded that they have never treated this or that they feel unable to help- i believe they are a facilitator in my own healing and my own journey but my other fear is this- why wont i allow myself to move on from this- i say i have forgotten how to not think like this but also i think this has become my identity and is it a co-incidence that i was experiencing an identity crise at the same time as the phobia manifested itself?lisa - </TD></TR>
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[sthlm]

Hi, thanks for the support, Its countdown 3 days now. Don´t know if im gonna do it or not, I will know for sure when I sit there with the ipecac in my hand.


"Jazz" what do you mean "there were just too many times I had to get up", sounds so scary. Did you had to get up and pjuke?? Or am I totally missunderstanding you [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[intuitive1]

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<TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNABLE="off">sthlm- i am sure that whatever decision u decide - it will be right for you, i feel though that there are other ways to manage this other than taking a pill to make you experience it- even if it happens and its not 'that bad' will it truly stop you ever fearing it again- or could the experience of it - as in the lead up to it etc actually enhance it- i have heard of many emets who try this to find they cant actually do 'it' they try and try but their brain has such a power it doesnt allow it to occur so they were left with just the nausea and discomfort which re-inforced the fear- i guess its the fact that v## is uncontrollable which scares us- so , to v## in a 'controlled' way isnt really the same is it? i also know of emets who handled v## with morning sickness just fine but as soon as that was over the phobia became prevalent again- i think it may be that when we know why we are ill and can control how we are ill - it seems easier but we dont live like that so i truly feel , in my case- that even though i believe it would go away if i just v###, in my heart i know its not that simple a cure - like sage says - i think it would take repeated exposure to lessen the fears etc - but - i can only speak for myself and in no means mean to disuade anyone else- we are all unique - though we connect in various ways- the manifestations and root cause of the phobia are all different and so the treatment and 'cure' may be different also- just because i dont think this would help me doesnt mean it wont help you- if you are for it - then i'm with you 100% and wish you all the best of luck, i truly hope you find your way through this- lisa</TD></TR>
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