Identifying and addressing the Phobia in Very Young Children

[escher]

Hi,
I'm new here, I don't have emetophobia, I have just discovered what it is, I'm here because my 5 year old daughter is routinely suffering panic attacks going to school, the cause of this is her fear of other kids vomiting in class, very distressing for her. Is this the origin of this phobia, what should I do, is there a treatment/approach I should do without making matters worse, or is my daughter consigned to having this phobia.

[olschesky]

aorry i can't offer any advice for this.....but i'm really happy that you're a mom that recognizes the problem and looking for help. mine started around age 8 after a kid in my class v.......i'm 58 now and still suffering. hopefully you will find her a good therapist that can nip this in the bud.....

good luck and keep us posted.....i know a few other people have posted about their children showing signs of emet.......

welcome

[escher]

Thanks, for going to the trouble to reply, Im a Dad by the way...lol

[Elski]

Hi there

It does sound like it could be the start of it. Is there a particular incident that scared her - was a kid sick on or near her or was she in a situation where she couldn't escape like sitting next to someone on a bus who got ill? A lot of times it can be pinned down to an incident but sometimes (like with myself) it just seems to come out of nowhere. How do you guys act when she's sick - are you pretty blase and matter of fact about it or do you make a fuss/big deal over it which (without you realising so don't feel bad) may have reinforced in her mind that it's a 'bad' thing to happen?
Can you go and chat to the family doctor to find out about child psychotherapy? Getting it nipped in the bud before it becomes really ingrained is the best thing you can do and the earlier it's dealt with, the more likely it is to be successful. I wish this phobia had been more socially understood when I was a kid as maybe I wouldn't be so phobic now - it just didn't really 'exist' when I was small! She's lucky to have a proactive parent like you. Well done recognising there's potentially a problem and seeking advice on it early on - I hope you get her all sorted soon

[ann32]

THats awful, Im so sorry she feels that way, I am 33 and a Mom of a 5 and 3 yr old boys, and I worry that my nutsy phobia is going to rub off on them.

I know that my phobia started from a child getting sick in my school, I might have been 3 and I remember it was in a church school during snack time, it was grape juice...I know that was the start of my fear for some reason...Then I remember someone getting sick on the school bus in summer camp. And it wasj ust something that always bothered mevfrom then on...

unfortunately when I was little and felt sick or got sick, my mom wasnt very nice about it, she would tell me just to get over it and stop being ridiculous...I think if she were more sympathetic, understanding and willing to maybe get me some help, I would be much better off!

Good luck, I totally understand having a 5 yr old myself...and my heart breaks for yall. But hopefully yall will get her what she needs as far as help, and this wont even turn into an issue.

[escher]

Folks, really appreciate the feedback,

I believe a "typical" sickness incident at school a year ago set this off, the teacher handled it well, since then, out little girl has shown a heightened sensitivity to reports of; or actual sickness events. This does not happen every day, in fact not regularly, however following extended school holidays it raises its head and she will get panicky and distressed.

We are conscious not to over react, there are alot of "quacks" out there particularly in an area like this which is not well understood. So I am researching what the most reliable approach might be ranging from nothing but being sensitive and reassuring to finding a credible specialist with "pedigree"

Any other thoughts?

[_katherine]

My phobia started when I was around your daughter's age (I'm 20 now). I wouldn't freak out so much about school, but be very anxious about bus rides, or being in a confined space with other kids, for fear that someone would v*.

I'm not sure how to stop this phobia. Just be understanding with her and maybe try to find out why it bothers her so much. Is it the germ aspect?

[griffdiz]

I also started to have this phobia when I was in elementary school, where incidents of other children vomiting is common. I never showed it really though, I kept it all inside because I didn't know it wasn't normal. I wish it could have been recognized at a young age though, and maybe I could have seen someone about it. Could you talk to her pediatrician and see if you could be referred to a therapist that specializes in phobias? If it turns out you think the therapist is not qualified you could always look for another. Does your insurance list providers that they will cover? You could start with that list.

[x...RaChE...x]

I've had this fear since I was very young, my mum tried not to talk about it and stuff and hoped it would eventually wear off but it did get worse as I got older, Id talk to a therapist, and perhaps try not to give off a negative outlook on vomiting...
Good luck xxx

[raven928]

I had this phobia since i was very young and im very glad you are such a good mother to see it early in your child and try and help. my parents just thought it was a phase or i was just too squimish. The most important thing you can do for your child is be there for them, they are very scared and need your comfort. Try and make life as easy as it can be for them!

[asianeko]

I'm glad you're such a great Dad who notices it I know many people on this site have done various forms of therapies and had their own success and not quite successes with them. Personally, all I've had was hypnotherapy, and it was amazing, I'm doing much much better. I'm not sure if that would be the best route for a little one or not, that's your call (And whomever you decide to go see about it). I would call some of the therapists in your area who you may seem interested in, and see who has successfully dealt with emetobhobia previously. I hope she starts coping with it soon

[DoonDoon]

As someone who has had this phobia since I was about your daughter's age, I would definitely say that her behavior might suggest she has a phobia. I remember feeling the same way about being at school at her age, and had a few traumatic experiences when other kids were ill at school.

The only advice I can give you that I wish someone had given my parents is to be supportive of your child when she does become sick. I remember a couple times when I had a nasty virus as a child, and woke up in the night only to be sick all over the place. I remember my mom being very angry with me, and not comforting me as I sat there alternating between being sick and crying. She sat there and reprimanded me while I continued to be ill. I feel that this contributes greatly to my phobia. So, when the time comes for your daughter to have her turn with a bug, be there for her, tell her she'll be okay, and that she can get through it.

[vixki]

I dunno what country you are in but if you can, I would HIGHLY reccomend looking in to some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)... I'm having that at the moment and it seems good but I SO wish I'd had it when I was younger... it works best in young children as their brains work more from experiences and CBT helps the child to proccess their thoughts and feelings differently... basically, its a lot easier for it to help in younger children then when they get older... i'm only 17 but my brain is still past its learning about experiences kind of stage unfortunately...


If it happens more often after school holidays... maybe during the holidays try and get her to be more social, have friends round, go round to friends houses, go to activity groups etc - so she doesn't get out of the habit of being around people which aren't family. I babysit kids and they all throw paddys on the first few days back at school, sometimes they cry and yell and all that.. this is just because they are used to sitting around at home doing whatever they want, and more so - being with their parents. Of course I'm not saying don't spend time with her, but in holidays maybe arrange sleepovers or days out with other friend's and their parents, so she doesn't get too used to having you around all the time.

[misplacedangels]

I have such a strong passion for kids just starting out with this phobia because it is hard for parents to understand if they have never been an emet themselves. The fact she is not scared everyday does not make it any less of immediate thing to fix. My emet started when I was in 4th grade and lasted the whole year due to over 20 people getting sick at my elementary school at one time.. it was nuts... then I did not see anything from this phobia until I was in highschool. What I am trying to say is be supportive and explain what she can do to stay well. I hope she does not go to a school like my daughter... her Pre K keeps the kids in the classrooom until their parents come; so these kids that are V* are being cat called at " ewww, gross." or "ewww she threw up". Terrible. Ask her to explain (as well as a 5 year old can- I have a 5 year old girl) what her fear is, and just open up the conversation. I went to a Psychologist when I was in 4th grade and it made it worse.. my mom broke down and said she just didn't know what to do for me anymore, and that made me feel worse about myself... so if you can be supportive outside therapy, go for it! Also, remember this is a phobia much like flying, or hights; it is fear of the unknown... not knowing what to expect when you are at school; "will someone get sick today?" "will I get it?" My daughter has seen AT LEAST 11 people get sick at her school.... It's things like that which can start a phobia. Make sure the teacher knows, so that she/he can help her if she panics at school. Having people that are supportive and understand what the child is going through can help so much... I remember one teacher I had in elementary school understood, and I was always most comfortable in her class..

Blah, I know I rambled, but hope it helps somehow.

[misplacedangels]

BTW, I was in the clinic most of my 4th grade career because of my phobia... I am sure I almost failed because I always wanted to go home...and did.

[barbiegirl]

It's great to see that you are such a supportive dad and want to help your daughter as best you can. My dad isn't supportive with my emet at all... and all that does is make it a lot worse when people don't even try to understand or "get it".

I think patience and really trying to empathize with your daughter is the best place to start. Like mentioned above, be supportive, talk to her about it and really listen to her fears. A good therapist may help, but it also may not. I personally have not found therapy to be helpful (I'm 27 and have been an emet my entire life) but it is certainly worth trying. At the very least maybe you and your daughter can work together on some self care skills to reduce anxiety such as in books like The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook).

Good luck, and I can't stress enough be supportive and listen! We know our fears are crazy and stupid, but getting mad at us for being scared isn't going to help.