College and being an Emet.

[_katherine]

I've had emet since I was a small girl. It's never gone away. It stinks. It's more about me being near v* or people who are getting sick. I freak out considerably when I v* and it takes me a while to recover, but I think it's more about other people v* with me.

I was wondering if anyone is a college student, like me. Because of my emet, I can't go to parties and such. I also rarely go out on the weekends because people get drunk and v* in public. I can't stand it!

You know what's funny? I'm a pre-med student. That's right, I'm studying to be a doctor. I've worked in clinical settings (for caring for the dining and the like) and have been around v* and helped clean it up...for some freaking reason, I can handle v* but ONLY in the confines of a clinical or hospital setting. Outside of that, I just FREAK OUT.

My being an emet causes me not to consume any alcohol but it stinks because I'm a sophomore and have no friends because I can't party. Sometimes I get lonely and stuff but then I think about going outside and I just can't do it. People v* anywhere here...you find it outside when the weekend is through! I can't deal with it. It sucks that now I have no friends just because I don't go out to parties.

[MJ3]

I'm a college student as well, a senior, and though I've been an emet since I was young it didn't really start effecting my social life until this year after a very bad experience over the summer.

I go to school in a small town so basically the only thing people do on the weekends is go out to drink. I don't have a problem with drinking myself, I'm very very careful about how much I consume, but I find it very difficult to be around others who are drinking and I spend most nights out completely paranoid.

I'm lucky because I have a couple close friends who sort of get my phobia and understand when I leave early or don't want to go out, but generally I feel pretty ridiculous and stupid. I hate to feel that I'm missing out on stuff with friends but I can stand the paranoia.

I'm working with a counsellor at my school to try and find methods to at least manage the anxiety and paranoia I feel just being out, but I still haven't been able to deal with it actually happening and recently had a setback in my therapy due to a friend being sick when we were out.

I haven't met any other people my age who have dealt with this before so it's nice to know I'm not the only university student with it.

[_katherine]

I'm sorry to hear about you having emetophobia at college too. I'm glad you're working with your therapist though.

The therapists here (at school and in the small town) are not that good so I can't really go to them for this. I see them at school for other stuff, but not my phobia.

I'm like you...my college is in a small town. All ANYONE does is go out and drink. I can't stand it because there is always someone getting sick and I can't go out.

I'm scared because in 2 weeks, there is going to be a campus wide party (unofficial) and there will be a TON of drinking. Normally, I would leave to go home, but I can't because I need to study for finals. I'm scared of going out.

[MJ3]

It can't hurt to mention your phobia in a session if you're already seeing a counsellor. I was really against talking to anyone about it except my roommate, who knows about it, until she brought it up with the counsellor in one of her own sessions. It turned out that the counsellor had dealt with similar fears and has really helped, though it can be difficult.

I have a lot of problems with going out with friends because of the possibility of someone drinking too much and getting sick. The paranoia can be horrible but I've learned some coping techniques that help somewhat so I can least hang out with my friends for a little while. I've also learned that v*ing won't necessarily occur every time I'm out and that I can avoid it if I have to. I usually go out fairly early, before people get too trashed. I sit near the door. I also use a therapy technique of snapping an elastic band against my wrist anytime bad thoughts or anxieties that are irrational occur, eventually your mind responds to the slight pain like "Pavlov's dog" and you can get over the little things that make you feel anxious.

Also, does your school have an initiative that tries to provide non-drinking events? If so it might be a good thing to get involved in, or at least attend some of the events. You may meet other people who like to avoid situations that involve alcohol.

Do you live in residence? If so I can definitely understand why the party in two weeks would make you anxious. The one year I was in rez was very difficult, especially when a case of the noro-virus broke out in all the residences and my roommate and I both got it.

If possible you could spend the night of the party elsewhere (may even studying in the library or something) or even just bunker down in your room with some good movies. A few weeks ago there was some heavy partying going on in my town because of classes ending and I just stayed in with a few friends who weren't up for partying either.

[paradiseaddict]

im 22 and school was always tough for me in Australia.. its the same here drunks everywhere.. in the morning you see the vomit on the streets. I dont drink either... I dont go out... Im sad too cos I feel Im missing out...on fun on meeting people etc. I dont go out cos im afraid that at night any of the drunks will be sick in front of me.. So i walk down a street with knots in my tummy.... crossing the road when I see someone tipsy. Its bad. Bu I wanna fix it.. they are ok with it so hopefully so can i

[crd08]

I'm a sophmore at college and I have no friends baiscally. Well, I do but they are my old high schol friends who don't care that I am how I am. I would be alone if those two didn't go to the same college as me.

I have been to two parties and a few dances at clubs. I was anxious the whole time, but I didn't once see anybody get sick. I go to a well known party school and no issues so far. Still, this is getting in the way of my relationships with others as most college kids are big drinkers. I know totally what you are going through.

This may sound weird but are you religious at all? I'm not super religious or anything, but I went to this party thrown by a group of christians on campus and it was really great. It had music and games, just like other parties..just no alcohol. I met a lot of kids who don't drink at all because they just aren't into it. Just a suggestion There are people out there who won't care you just gotta look a little harder to find them.

[_katherine]

I'm not religious or anything. I'd be open to a Christian party, but there are none like that here. the only religious events are on weekdays and such. We don't have many Christians at my college, and they don't typically hang out together.

*sigh* Well it's 10:23 PM on a Saturday night and I'm still here alone. There's a Greek formal party and they ALL get drunk so I guess I'm stuck.

[hiddenopal]

I actually put off going to college for a year because of that. I knew I wouldn't be able to be around drunk/hungover people all the time. Also I couldn't bear the idea of getting sick away from home.

Have you thought about trying to start a club for students who don't drink? A lot of colleges have them. People probably won't line up to join, but I guarantee you aren't the only one on the whole campus who isn't interested in drinking. Maybe you should start a facebook group called "[Your College] Students Who Don't Drink"

It's kinda funny (not in the ha ha way) that you can be around vomit in a clinical setting because I am the opposite. If someone is just v*ing from too much booze, I'm okay because I know it's not contagious.

[gumdropper1]

You are making too much of the amount of drinking you perceive going on at your campuses. From research I've seen, only about 60 percent of college students drink at all, and of the ones who do, less than half binge drink. The ones who don't binge-drink rarely if ever vomit from it, and if they do, it isn't in the middle of the party.

Anyway, even if you don't drink, why be so afraid of the puking at the parties? It isn't contagious. You can't catch anything from being around someone hurling from alcohol. The chances of someone vomiting directly on you are pretty small.

I had some of the same issues when I was new to college. I've never been much of a drinker, but at those college parties, once I was of legal age, I would have at least one drink. Before that I would just have a Coke. No one can tell the difference between Coke and the mixed drink Rum and Coke at the party. I knew there was some vomiting going on, but it usually didn't happen until late in the party. You can get two or three hours in at the party before the puking starts. That's enough time to meet some people and decide to go off by yourselves somewhere. It was often the case that a group of my friends would leave the party around 11 and go to an all-night eatery similar to a Denny's. No alcohol there, so people could truly socialize and those who had been drinking could sober up. Of course, we weren't a very hard-drinking group.

It shocked me the first couple of times I walked through a dorm or frat house and saw that the sink or drinking fountain had been puked in, but hey, it was mostly just beer and nothing contagious. Anyway, that's where I could meet lovely ladies on campus. I decided I could put up with other people vomiting nearby knowing that it wouldn't make me do it.

There are a lot of reasons not to drink, but being afraid of someone else tossing their cookies isn't a reason to sit alone in your dorm room on Friday night when others are out having a good time. Sober people make better companions anyway. You'll look so much more attractive than the ones who are drunk when you go for the early part of the party and just have 0-2 drinks. If you're female, you can ALWAYS get in at a party and no one will care if or how much you drink.

Look a little harder for activities that involve little or no drinking. Groups that play board games or D&D are pretty good ones. Music groups would give you a chance to meet a lot of friends and they might not be as heavily into drinking as people who aren't in them. Someone mentioned religious groups. Their activities tend to be alcohol free. Most campuses also have movies on the weekend and there is little or no alcohol there.

Beyond that, why limit yourself to campus? There are events going on in the community on Friday and Saturday nights, even if it's a small town.

Don't let your emet limit you unnecessarily. This is a time in your life when you're supposed to grow in new ways.

Doug

[_katherine]

You are making too much of the amount of drinking you perceive going on at your campuses. From research I've seen, only about 60 percent of college students drink at all, and of the ones who do, less than half binge drink. The ones who don't binge-drink rarely if ever vomit from it, and if they do, it isn't in the middle of the party.

Anyway, even if you don't drink, why be so afraid of the puking at the parties? It isn't contagious. You can't catch anything from being around someone hurling from alcohol. The chances of someone vomiting directly on you are pretty small.

There are a lot of reasons not to drink, but being afraid of someone else tossing their cookies isn't a reason to sit alone in your dorm room on Friday night when others are out having a good time. Sober people make better companions anyway. You'll look so much more attractive than the ones who are drunk when you go for the early part of the party and just have 0-2 drinks. If you're female, you can ALWAYS get in at a party and no one will care if or how much you drink.


Doug

No, seriously...all anyone does on my campus is drink. Partying is huge on the weekends.

I'm just scared of the v*. I can't explain why I am, I just am. It has NOTHING to do with illnesses or catching something, I'm just scared. I freak out...

Seeing it doesn't help me in the least. I just get more paranoid. I'm already calm around v* in a clinical setting and I don't want to jeopardize that.

Last weekend, I spent the weekend in the library and then back to my room when it closed. I got a lot of work done. This weekend is supposed to be another party weekend so I know where I am staying.

I'm unhappy with this phobia but I'm sorry, I don't feel that going on the weekends is an option for me anymore. I'm going to look into some treatment but in the meantime, I need to stay inside.

[amarkham01]

College basically cured my fear of others vomiting! I used to plug my ears even when I heard someone getting sick in a movie. But honestly you can really get used to drunk puking! I went from jumping out of a car and running half a mile in 4 inch heels to get away from my date who was vomiting, and curling up, shaking in the fetal position when a friend got sick in a parking lot, to judging "puking contests" and comforting my boyfriend while he puked after drinking way too much and then sleeping in the same sleeping bag and tent with him afterwards, and holding my friends hair and "aiming" her face into a bag while she got sick. When you can't catch it, it's a lot easier to deal with, at least for me. But then again, my fear really is centred on myself v*ing. That fear has become increasingly worse over the years, maybe my fear of others puking trasfered over to my fear of myself puking?

I would seriously suggest seeing ANY therapist to those of you who are suffering so badly from a fear of other's vomiting. Any decent therapist could structure some exposure therapy for you, and it would be no different than a fear or spiders or dogs. The fear of yourself vomiting is trickier, because it's hard to expose yourself to yourself feeling sick (besides by doing stupid things that not even a normal person would want to do) But for fear of others vomiting, you just have to take teeny tiny steps and not move on until you feel 100% comfortable. Starting out with just the letter "v" and going up from there. It's not a super quick fix, but it is highly curable and long lasting if you can put the time in.

[lindserton]

Hey there,
I'm actually a freshman right now going to an art school in Boston, and I was SO worried about being in close corners with people who could be partying and sick and whatnot. I live in a suite with three other girls, two to a bedroom, and to my relief, they are not partiers. I was still scared of them getting sick, and I still am at times, but it was really worse at the beginning of the year. It was so bad that I had to go see a school counselor who then prescribed my to a therapist!
Talking to someone definitely helps. My school counselor is very nice and was very supportive of my fear. Also, I've let my roommates know of my fear as well and they take it very seriously. One night one of them was sick, and my other two roommates cleaned the whole bathroom for me and let me sleep in their room with them, incase the sick roommate had a stomach bug or something.

Although it's been tough dealing with this fear around people, knowing people who actually care about your fear helps a lot. Perhaps you can look around the school for others who have a similiar fear as yours? When I spoke to the counselor, she said it wasn't the first time someone had come in with a problem like mine.
Just try to stick with others that don't drink. Go out and do other things with them to keep your mind off of the parties and drinking. Maybe you can go hang out with them in their rooms or something?

[mxw08]

I'm a college student as well, and go to (and have previously attended) a "party school". I understand how you feel. While my fear is definitely centered on myself being sick, even if I know I can't catch it I still freak out when others are sick around me. Lucky for me, I live in Utah which is Mormon central so there's always somewhere social to go where drinking is not going to be involved.

But anyway, it may seem like everyone but you at your school drinks, but there really are people who just aren't into it. You just haven't found them. Look up what clubs your school has to offer and join some! A school-sponsered event isn't likely to turn into a drunk fest even if your school is a wet campus. And are you absolutely positive your school doesn't have any religious subgroups that have events? I'm not religious, but I do know that the LDS church for one (again, I live in Utah,) has "institutes of religion" at over 200 schools across the country and they hold social events ALL the time, mainly dances, where anyone is welcome. (They're all about dating. Haha!) See if your school has one. If you dig a little deeper, I seriously doubt it will be impossible to find something social that does not involve drinking.

And if all else fails, try to go out a little bit and go out at the very beginning of the party and leave before it really gets started. You'll meet some people, but no one is going to be wasted enough to be throwing up that early in the happenings. Edge into it. Go right when it starts and hang around the fringes. You could start out by staying five minutes and work up from there. And you'll probably end up doing what gumdropper1 was talking about. You'll find a group of friends that aren't really into the hard partying scene, and do fun things with them. My friends and I do the open-late restaurant thing all the time, and it's a lot more fun for sure. But first you have to meet people!

[misplacedangels]

When I started my college career I went to an on campus college. I ended up with the stomach bug and left class early. Luckily I made it home before I got sick, but the next week I had my parents take me out of school. I went until last year without thinking about college and then realized I needed to go back to do what I want to do -Psychology. I looked at online schools and found one that will take me all the way through my Masters without stepping foot on a campus! I was so happy, and have been making straight A's since I started a year ago! So much less stress, and I can go at my own pace. With something like nursing or medical education I do not know if there is much in the way of online classes, but it is worth a look!

As for the college parties, I can tell you we have a couple over and both my friends husband and mine have puked from drinking in my house!! ugh..... Now that is the worse... When the person is a loud V*er it makes it worse>.<..... When you retreat upstairs and can still hear it, that is the worse.

[ck12701]

As a college student, my fear stems from living in the dorms and not at the actual party. At parties, I rarely see kids getting sick - even outside walking back. My issue really is later in the night and the next morning on weekends when the sickness really kicks in for people. Surprisingly my freshman year went very smoothly. My roommate happened to get sick a few times from drinking but never made a fuss AND my friends took great care of her (and me HAHA).

But this year is different. My roommate (different girl) ended up v* in her sleep over a month ago. Absolutely traumatized me. I have many issues falling asleep and I am also on edge. I won't go to the bathroom in the dorm unless a friend comes with me! I have started to drink less because my body hasn't handled alcohol well since the incident with my roommate. I am constantly a nervous wreck, border panic/anxiety attack at all times. It hasn't affected my social life, but it is just harder to physically rejuvenate after a night of drinking.

Next year, I will be living off campus with 3 other girls who not only understand me, but are responsible drinkers as well. Hopefully my fear subsides

[teh folder]

I've had emet since I was a small girl. It's never gone away. It stinks. It's more about me being near v* or people who are getting sick. I freak out considerably when I v* and it takes me a while to recover, but I think it's more about other people v* with me.

I was wondering if anyone is a college student, like me. Because of my emet, I can't go to parties and such. I also rarely go out on the weekends because people get drunk and v* in public. I can't stand it!

You know what's funny? I'm a pre-med student. That's right, I'm studying to be a doctor. I've worked in clinical settings (for caring for the dining and the like) and have been around v* and helped clean it up...for some freaking reason, I can handle v* but ONLY in the confines of a clinical or hospital setting. Outside of that, I just FREAK OUT.

My being an emet causes me not to consume any alcohol but it stinks because I'm a sophomore and have no friends because I can't party. Sometimes I get lonely and stuff but then I think about going outside and I just can't do it. People v* anywhere here...you find it outside when the weekend is through! I can't deal with it. It sucks that now I have no friends just because I don't go out to parties.

Parties are overrated, I would rather surf the internet or hang out with just a few close friends. =)

[abbi]

Parties are overrated, I would rather surf the internet or hang out with just a few close friends. =)

Same here!!

[DoonDoon]

I've been an emetophobe my entire life, but college made it exponentially worse. I'm currently wrapping up my second semester of my freshman year, and struggling to deal with my phobia on a daily basis.

Living in student housing was the hardest part for me. I lived in an apartment style dorm with 7 other girls, and I knew that someone was bound to be sick at some point. Of course, it was MY roommate! She got a really bad sv* one night and had to be brought to the hospital. I woke up at 3am only to watch her run out of the room and spend the rest of the night in the bathroom. I had a huge panic attack, and remained in that panic mode for approximately 5 hours. I didn't eat at all for the next three days, and then ate very little for the next two weeks (until I ruled out the possibility of becoming sick myself). Fortunately, nobody else came down with it in our apartment (I have NO idea how that is possible! but thank God!).

Then, a month or so later, my roommate decided to go out and get drunk. She got so drunk that she came back and v* a few times. I actually was more okay with this because I knew there was no chance of me "catching" it. I heard her v*, and told the people that were taking care of her that I was going to lock myself in our room and that she'd have to sleep on the floor in the living room. She apologized to me the next day, as she knows how sensitive I am to v*.

I don't party, I don't do drugs, and I don't drink all because of my phobia. I'm uncomfortable living with others (hence why I have an off campus apartment), and I am anxious when I'm at school because of the sv* that's going around.

College is tough for an emet... but I'm going to stick with it because I REFUSE to let this phobia control my life.

[_katherine]

Yeah college is tough for an emet, but I am sticking it out and doing okay now. I want to follow my dreams! I will not let a phobia make me miss out on my dreams.

Next year, i'm living with 3 other girls (that I know) and NONE of them drink. Also, we have separate bedrooms and 2 bathrooms to share between the 4 of us. (so if one is used by some sick person, I can use the other!) I consider myself to be VERY, very lucky.

It's a Friday night and I'm in my room right now but I'm doing okay. Everyone is partying because school is nearly over. I am going to call my best friend on the phone, play a puzzle game on the DS, then go to bed. I'm feeling okay.

[catlobster]

My freshman year of college I chose to live in the "safe house"- it was 2 floors of dorms with students who don't smoke, drink or do drugs (all of which I never did, so it sounded good to me). I chose it because of all the reasons listed above: and I was petrified of having a partying roomie who might get sick. Long story short, it was awful anyway, but thankfully not because of any V issues (though shared bathrooms are an Emet's nightmare!). Moving into an apartment was a great option for me, and should be great for you as well. You know the girls, have 2 bathrooms, and have more control over the cleanliness of the place.
As far as parties and groups and stuff...I managage to have a normal social life; I went out with friends and drank, but I knew my limit, and usually escaped to go home by the time everyone else was just getting drunk, so 1) they never really missed me and 2) I left before people started to V from too much alcohol. It was a tactic that worked quite well. Unfortunately, it's inevitable to avoid all V scenarios, but if you plan right you can minimize exposure and still have fun.

[clarync8]

I'm starting college next year!

I'm going to be in a dorm and really nervous about it... mostly because of the living situation with so many people in close proximity and sharing bathrooms. My brother told me if anyone on the floor got sick, EVERYONE got it. That terrified me! I'm going to be living in the same dorm as him, and I'm going to be living in a closet with a person I don't know.
Honestly I dont really care about people v* because of drinking too much. I mean it's really gross, sure, but I'm not scared of it as long as it can't make ME v*.

I can only take solice in the fact that I'll live really close to my house, so if someone gets a s*v* I can stay at home until it's safe.

Does anyone who lives/lived in a dorm have any tips for not getting sick? (besides all the general emet-heigene stuff, washing hands, don't touch face, etc.)

[DoonDoon]

Does anyone who lives/lived in a dorm have any tips for not getting sick? (besides all the general emet-heigene stuff, washing hands, don't touch face, etc.)

Well, this probably goes along with hygiene... but when my roomie got a sv* the second month of college I took it upon myself to bleach the entire bathroom where she got sick. In fact, I believe I did it twice while she was at the hospital (yes, she had to go to the hospital the bug was so bad!). Nobody else in our apartment of 8 people caught it... and I attribute that to my cleaning.

[belle08]

I'm 18 and will be going to university in september (although i'm staying in my home town) and i find it difficult enough to cope with going out etc. I've never been to any of my school's parties and I won't be going to our final ever leaver's dinner because apparently a girl last year got really ill/drunk in front of everyone, and one of the girls that has organised it keeps having a go at me for not going, but how can I tell her the truth? I've only ever been to town/clubs etc twice and luckily my best friend is so supportive, any mention of anything and we're gone, but then I always feel selfish for having to finish her night out, you can't win! While this friend is going to the same university, she's doing a different course, and i'm really worried about fresher's week and uni trips, what on earth excuse am I going to give? So i sympathise

[kaylammcd]

I have been in college for two years now and i've been quite proud of myself. I remember the beginning of my freshman year I lived in the dorms and since I didn't know anyone I was extremely anxious. Of course the first night a couple of my roommates came back drunk and v* on the bathroom floor and I just went into my room and cried. I even had a hard time going to class because my biggest fear is v*ing in public and so I always had to make sure I got a seat near a door and on the end of a row or else I had to leave early or just not sit through class at all. Once I got used to my roommates and they started to understand the extent of my phobia I felt much better and my anxiety got a lot better

[Thefloyd12]

Yeah I basically lost a lotta friends and became a loser cause I refuse to drink and don't like parties

[turbokinetic]

Yeah I basically lost a lotta friends and became a loser cause I refuse to drink and don't like parties

I used to think the same way. BUT now that it's a few years after college, guess who has the better life and most freedom? Not the party animals!

David

[AnimatedFreak101]

I'm starting to freak out about college myself and I'm about to be a high school senior. I'm probably just going to stay in my dorm and study the whole time. I don't really plan on consuming alcohol either, it's just not worth the risk for me. :/

[missdb]

College ended up not working out for me within a month due to my phobia, primarily. I ended up at a school closer to home where I felt more in control- which probably didn't help the anxiety in the long run...I lost a lot in terms of relationships.

[clarync8]

College ended up not working out for me within a month due to my phobia, primarily. I ended up at a school closer to home where I felt more in control- which probably didn't help the anxiety in the long run...I lost a lot in terms of relationships.

Somthing similar happened to me. I was all excited to go out of state for college and go to some amazing city, then when it came down to applying, I just thought, "What am I going to do in some random city with NO close family or friends with this phobia???"

Needless to say, I'm attending a college in the fall that I swore to myself I wouldn't go to thats 5 minutes from my house :P

[Kyra]

I found that college actually really helped my emet. I had a pretty close group of friends (five guys) my freshman year and as many freshman boys do, they sometimes drank too much and got sick. Since we usually hung out at my apartment, I often ended up taking care of them. The first time one of them threw up in my apartment I was really scared, but after a reassuring hug from my boyfriend (who knew about my phobia) I was actually able to bring him a glass of water in the bathroom. Each subsequent time, it became easier and easier to be around them if/when they were sick, and now I don't even get nervous when people throw up from drinking (except sometimes in cars for some reason)!