Hello all,

I posted awhile back but don't know where it went to. I'm currently 30 and have had this phobia for 22 years. I just figured out it had a name about 5 months ago. For the longest time my parents and friends thought I was just weird, until I sent them the "signs and symptoms" I found on a random website and it pegged me to a T. Then, they were like "Wow. You need to get some help". Why yes, yes I do. But where?!

I was fine for a couple years and then a few months back had an episode of what I now know what heartburn but thought I was going to throw up and...SURPRISE! It's back. With a vengence. I've only thrown up twice in my life so my fears come from the fact that I'm not sure what real nausea feels like or how I know when I'm going to. All I can remember is that my stomach was KILLING me when I was going to.

This has now gotten to a new low. I don't go out to eat in restaurants. The shear grossness of eating food somebody else has cooked is disgusting. I'm even afraid of eating my own cooking. At this point, I'm afraid of food in general. I've lost 7 lbs. in the past couple months. I don't sleep, because I'm afraid I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and throw up. Not to mention that now I'm dreaming about myself or other people throwing up and then I wake up with a stomach ache. Then I have to try to get back to sleep. Ohhhhh the cycle of this is killing me. This is not healthy. Oh, and I rarely leave my apartment because what happens if I get sick out in public or in my car while traveling to/from somewhere?!

I tried going to a hypnotherapist and while she helped a little, it's time to call in the big guns. What kind of therapies do you recommend? Books you've tried? Websites besides this one that has helped?

I'm moving to New York City this fall (germ central!!) and am not only afraid of getting sick on the subway, I'm also afraid of having to go #2 and being stuck somewhere (subway, street, wherever) and not have access to a restroom. Eeck!

Thanks for listening even if nobody ever posts.