therapist says this site is encourging my phobia!!!

[afraid213]

i was SSSOOOOOOOO pissed when she said that!!! this site has been nothing but supportive to me and she says its making it worse by showing that other people are living with it!!! WTF!!

[vixki]

honestly, I think this site can 'encourage' your phobia. I try to stay away from panic threads these days cos I know they make me worse. I don't post my own panic threads, I try to prove to myself I don't need to.
Basically I just use this site as a community site not a 'helping me when I'm panicking site' anymore...
Hate to say, but if you're thinking you couldn't live (or would find it hard) without this site, its a sure sign you ought to take a break from it.

[DoonDoon]

I think that this site can be both good and bad. Good, because you can find support and advice from those going through the same stuff... and bad because it may make you think about it more often. I have been able to better manage my phobia since joining this site, and once it gets to a level where I do not worry as much, I will probably ween myself off of it (ex. instead of checking it every day, I'll check it three times a week). That way, I don't think about it constantly. That's my plan. I guess it's all how you use it, and the way it impacts your choices.

[cinque]

Yes it really varies from person to person, and from time to time, I think. I have found it has helped me to cope when I learn things about how sv*s are spread, for instance (ie not truly airbourne - that's a worry off my mind). Some threads may upset me or worry me a bit but I don't feel it's bad for me as a whole to be here.

I don't really agree with the theory that we (members) 'enable' eachother in having the phobia by backing up patterns of worry and patterns of avoidance. I know some people will have completely the opposite view to me, but I really feel that it helps me to know that there are others out there like me. Also I do kind of feel that people should accept me for who I am, I'm not harmful to others because of my emetophobia...and...well it's not like anyone 'chooses' to have a phobia. It's not enjoyable, we don't enjoy wallowing in fear. It IS curable but goodness knows when/if I'll be able to have therapy for it, so this place in the meantime is a good support. Sorry for the ramble. I suppose you should listen to what your therapist says, but see if you can put forward your own thoughts to the therapist about how the forum might help you. xxx

[WinKitty]

honestly, I think this site can 'encourage' your phobia. I try to stay away from panic threads these days cos I know they make me worse. I don't post my own panic threads, I try to prove to myself I don't need to.
Basically I just use this site as a community site not a 'helping me when I'm panicking site' anymore...
Hate to say, but if you're thinking you couldn't live (or would find it hard) without this site, its a sure sign you ought to take a break from it.

I agree with all of this. Every sentence.

[clarync8]

When I first found this site I went on everyday, which ended up really encouraging my emet. Now I come here usually late at night when I have no one to talk to and it's really on my mind and troubling me, which (unless I read something that scares me) helps me feel not so alone with it.

I do admit to posting panic threads... I feel like a whiner for doing it and don't really like myself for it later, but when I'm panicking it helps so much to have someone reassuring you, and when theres no one with me this forum really helps me through it, even if it's pathetic

[Tori_Wubbleyoo]

Like so many people have said, you can get slightly addicted to the site and obsess over it - But that's the problem, not that it's fuelling your phobia! My therapist gave me this link the first time he met me and it's been nothing but a comfort You use it how you feel - If you like it and it helps, cool, do it, but if you feel it is inhibiting your progress, take a break xxx

[TiredofFear]

My mom said the same thing at first, but I don't think it has really effecting my phobia. I do visit it off and on because it really helps to have people to talk to that understand what I'm going through. Misery unfortunately loves company, and I'm sure everyone is here because the phobia is a miserable thing to live with. My phobia is the same since being here.

[amyrene]

There have been times that this site has helped me soooo much, and other times that it definitely has encouraged my phobia, but I've also learned which topics I should read and which ones I shouldn't.

[hippychick]

This site is amazing and it's harmful. It DOES enable us to justify this phobia to ourselves and that our behaviours are 'ok' if someone is asking if they should meet up with someone who just had the sv how many people reply with 'challenge your emet and go'? I see a lot of 'don't do it, it's ok' but is it really ok??

I have been on this site for many years (8? maybe 9?) and have seen it change and grow. I have taken long breaks and come back and I still love the site completely for all the support it gave me. However it is all too easy to get complacent and start encouraging bad behaviours. I see plenty of discussions on the best anti emetics to take or how to prevent vomiting and really I don't think this discussion encourages healthy behaviour.

[harmonygirl72]

Amen, Hippychick! I have been on this site for over 10 years, I think, and I have to agree with you wholeheartedly!

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

I agree with your therapist. What we think about all day long determines how we'll feel. So if we marinate ourselves in "emetophobia" all day long, we're feeding our phobia. And anything you feed, grows and becomes stronger. It's easy to get stuck in the phobia when all you read all day long is other people's horror stories and threads that go something like "OMG I'M *N IT'S GONNA HAPPEN ANY MINUTE I'M DYING PLZ SOMEONE HELP" and then everyone tells them they're going to be okay, while the person goes on to describe, in detail, every little thing they're feeling from their mouth right down to their butthole, including the consistency, amount, and frequency of their poo. The posts that talk about making progress and recovery are the ones that help. I think this site would better serve the emetophobic community if it discouraged the panic posts and encouraged more posts about ways to actually overcome this phobia. That's just my opinion.

[asianeko]

I agree with your therapist too. Once I found out there was a name for my fear, I googled it and found this site. Until then I would just be jumpy and N at night. After a few months of being on here multiple times a day, I found myself adopting other habits I had read about. I was scared to eat out, scared to eat lots of food, N all day, panic attacks multiple times a week, and even scared to leave the house at one point. Looking back, I noticed each of these thing developed after reading about them on here.

Do I think the site is bad? No. I found lots of support and help here. But I do think it worsened my phobia a ton. I don't think I would have ended up with it bad enough to go to therapy if I hadn't started visiting this site daily. But life happens and I don't' regret it at all. I've met so many amazing people here.

Try to filter the threads you read. For example, I LOVE Pizza Hut and have never had any problems with it, so I haven't even touched that topic. Why ruin something you love?

Alright I've rambled on for too long. Good luck with your therapy!

[Rebecca85]

For me it's a help because my phobia is more about others being ill than myself, so it helps desensitise me when I read about other peoples' experiences, I can imagine it and think what I could do in that scenario etc. Also the fact that they came on and posted after means however horrific tge experience was, they came through it ok!

[mooki]

Basically any discussion forum can become addicting for the same reason facebook is addicting for many people. It can also turn you into a hypochondriac if you read to many of those "I'm feeling sick" threads. I'm a newbie here and I must say I'm a bit surprised how many threads where people are asking for diagnosis about their stomach aches. I mean seriously, who could possibly know what is wrong with you from over the internet? I think our goals here should be recovery and support, not wallowing in our fears.

[amarkham01]

I don't think it's very healthy to visit this site regularly in leu of seeing a therapist. It IS enabeling. Instead of being a weirdo loner, we're all telling each other our weird and unhealthy behaviour is acceptable ("omg me too! I totally do that"). We even give it a cute little nick name "emet" like it's so cool to be one (I honestly get the impression that a few people on the forums feel that way...not many, but I've noticed a couple). I never call myself an "emet" or write it on the site. It's emetophobia. It's a mental illness. I think we almost glamourize it sometimes, in a way, which I can understand, because it feels nice to not be alone, but it isn't just a lifestyle, it's an illness which needs treatment. When you don't have other people with the same problems around accept and coddle you when you are acting crazy and tell you they do it too, you might be more motivated to change your abnormal behaviour to fit in with other people isntead of just being satisfied fitting in with other mentally ill people.

That being said, I still come to this website every day, and my phobia is better than when I first started coming here. But I think it is the result of passing time, therapy, changing my living situation, and hitting rock bottom than the site itself.

[sage]

I just typed this cool reply and somehow deleted it. Bah!

- but basically I said there are pros and cons to the site depending on how you use it. And your own therapist probably knows you best, so heed her words. Also said that I require my clients not to come here, or anywhere, during treatment if they have been "using." lol

[lizzo]

I agree with your therapist, it does normalize some irrational fears for me, but that's not the purpose of this site. It's nice to have a sense of community though

[lemonbrain]

its possible but also, its comforting.people dont know how it is...only we do so thats comforting.

nobody here can giveme ideas on making it worse..i do that just fine myself lol

[asianeko]

In lieu of all this, perhaps we can make a "Panic" forum, similar to the Private and General forums? This way people can easily avoid being tempted by the panic threads if they are not interested in seeing them, and those who are looking to help people calm down can get them all in one concise place.

[sage]

Good suggestion. The problem is the "Private" forum is where most people want to post, and that throws every topic into the same barrel. I seldom if ever respond to panic posts as "reassurance-seeking" is a documented phenomenon in all anxiety disorders and it's a bottomless pit of reassurance which does nothing more than provide EXTREMELY temporary relief and then feed the phobia as well as the dependence on reassurance.

[asianeko]

I understand with replying as enabling, but it is going to be done regardless. Is there no way to make a "Panic" forum private?

[jkl81]

I just think it would get no traffic, some people really need the comfort, since they have little or no access to therapy or supportive people in real life. A lot of times people hit a low point and live here and then move on to better things. Reassurance seeking is a bad idea, I do it too though, not so much here as IRL. Sage is right it becomes addicting and can make you dependent. I try to keep it to a minimum.

[jkl81]

Also whether or not we like to think so, people are pretty well programmed to want to see bad things. Good news doesn't get viewed, positve posts are 'meh' and the most awful things get viewed the most.

[sage]

I think that a "Please Help" forum would be a good way of organizing this place. So many posts start with that! Add as many exclamation marks as you like!!!!!

Some forum makeovers may be happening in the new year.

[crd08]

I kind of have to agree. I learned to ways to worry on here. lol

But, this site has also helped. I know I am not alone and reading all the positive posts about people making progress and overcoming it is very helpful.

I try not to come on too often and I avoid most panic posts, as they can sometimes cause me anxiety

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

Add as many exclamation marks as you like!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[asianeko]

I think that a "Please Help" forum would be a good way of organizing this place. So many posts start with that! Add as many exclamation marks as you like!!!!!

Some forum makeovers may be happening in the new year.

Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!111111111oneoneoneleven

[lisalulu]

Early on in my treatment I found this site made me worse so I stopped coming here and made my own facebook group with a 'no panic posts' rule. But then most of the people in that group ended up cured or close and now that I'm on the brink of recovery I find myself coming here a lot again. I'm in a different mindset now so I view a lot of those panic posts as a non-emet would- kind of a disbelief that anyone would worry over something like that. Now I just come looking for answers to questions regarding treatment/recovery in between real therapy sessions.

[annaki]

my therapist told me the same thing....not to come on here. in fact, that was one of my projects. i confess, i'm guilty of panic posts, but sometimes when i'm anxious, what i do is try to reassure OTHER people and somehow that makes me feel better. don't know why, but it does. i have def felt better after receiving reassurance, too, but i know that's its not the healthiest thing for me.

i think the site can definitely be enabling and help you think of avoidant behaviors that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise, but.......it has been great to have support and understanding. i don't think most people understand this phobia nor can they empathize. so, in that respect, its really great. it also makes me feel better that i'm not the only one who has it and that i'm not the only person who is afraid of something so irrational!