is still rearing its ugly head.


I came home sick from work today with bad nausea, I haven't v'd, but at this point I have so many stomach medications that I medicate myself with compazine or phenergan before I ever get the chance, sort of cowardly, but I suppose that's just part of emet.


Just Saturday I kicked one of my fears in the butt, working cattle on my mare, Gracie (that is her and I on my icon, at one of my saddle club shows, running poles) anyway, last August (2003, not just this last one) I brought her to a friends place and thought I'd try her out on cows to see how she'd do, she was a total freak and normally I can ride through it but she got me off and them stepped on me and I got really hurt. I got really afraid of her around cows.


Then that winter I did a team sorting league (a cattle working event) on a friends horse, and got over my general fear, and found out it was actually a lot of fun. My friend moved out of state and took her horse with, so all summer I had been missing sorting. Well, last Saturday some friends of mine were going to sorting practice and said to throw Gracie in the trailer, so I brought her along. And viola, we had a WONDERFUL time, she was calm and cool all because I was more confident. I've been on a high and feel great about my/our accomplishment.


So if I can beat that, I know I can beat emet, but I'm too afraid to even try. I've been going to therapy for depression but have been afraid to bring up the emet (though I did bring up the incident with my sister v'ing on Thanksgiving with the door open so we all could hear and how anxious it made me).


Any ideas on how to bring it up to her? I mean it will sound weird saying "I know I have this because I read it on the internet" etc but maybe I should just come out and say it? She's helped me a lot with depression, no meds required, maybe she could help me with this? I don't know. Maybe I need to go to someone else. Any ideas? Thanks!