He just doesnt understand...

[Lauralye]

Hey guys,


I just wanted to hear how other people with emet deal with relationships. My boyfriend of 6 months knows that I am frightened of v*ing, but i dont think he know exactly to what extent. I think maybe he thinks I just find it "unpleasant". NOT TRUE AT ALL!!! Ofcourse I am a part of this website, you know how i am with V*ing. How can I communicate this fear of mine to him casually, but sufficiently? (BTW this isa serious relationship, not a fling of some sort. So I really want to work on communication with him.)


thankyousomuch!


-Laura

[Beccah19]

I had the same problem with my boyfriend, and I had to use an analogy to get him to understand (he is mildly afraid of heights, so I explained to him to imagine himself on top of a skyscraper, and to multiply that feeling by 100). Is your boyfriend afraid of anything? Perhaps this would work for you, too. Otherwise, do you see a therapist or psychologist? They're great at explaining things to spouses/boyfriends. Hope it goes well!


Love,


Rebeccah

[2jo2]

I just recently told my husband how I felt, and actually alot of the behaviors I had really made sense to him after I told him. He was really understanding, and although he can never understand totally, he's really good about seeing if I'm ok after seeing something on tv or being told a story, or anything having to do with it. He's really trying to learn about how I feel. It's hard to be in someone else's shoes, so all you can really expect from him is understanding and support.

[rachel_81]

My fiance knew about my phobia about 6 months in, i
explained as best I could about it. I would say that he doesn't
understand because he doesn't suffer from phobias at all but he can see
how it affects me. I think the first time he properly saw how
serious it was, was when I had a panic attack. I think even if
your boyfriend can't understand your phobia as long as he is supportive
and you explain to him what you have problems dealing with he will
learn to deal with it too. Hope that was of some use!</font>

[Radisha]

I always find one of the best ways to explain the phobia to people is to show them this website. That's how I finally got my parents to understand the phobia fully as it wasnt just something I was saying- it was written down facts and there were so many other people with the same feelings.


My boyfriend's known about my phobia for a while, we were friends before we got together and I told him then. However, I dont think he really gets it. i was sick recently and he didnt seem to see how much ofa big deal it was for me.It's annoying and frustrating but I think you just need to keep working on people until they totally understand and appreciate your fear. Good luck!! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[Melikasa]

Aye his being supportive will be key in your relationship. He may not ever fully understand but that's ok. The guy before my husband didn't even try to be supportive or understand. My husband doesn't understand it but he is supoortive and caring. I was going to say the same thing as Beccah.


Find out what it is he may have a phobia about. He may understand better if he can recall how it felt the last time he was faced with his fear.


GL hun.