Do’s and Don’ts of Support

[sweetfreak]

Don't give up hope on therapy, people. I have found a counselor who understands. In my last session, he handed me a sheet of paper on the Do's and Dont's of his job. You may want to jot these down or print this out for the counselor or psychiatrist that you are seeing.


Don't: Feel you need to understand in order to help.


Do: Knowthat what phobic people are experiencing is real.


Don't: Think they are doing this for attention.


Do: Realize they are embarassed and want to change.


Don't: Be critical or use put-down statements.


Do: Be gentle and supportive, and build up their self-confidence.


Don't: Assume you know what is best.


Do: Ask how you can help.


Don't: Make them face a threatening situation without planning.


Do: Give them instruction in positive self-talk and relaxation exercises.


Don't: Make them face the situation alone.


Do: Be there and assure them of your support.


Don't: Begin with difficult situations.


Do: Help them to begin facing the fear in small increments.


Don't: Constantly ask, "How are you feeling?"


Do: Help them to see the value of having other interests.


Edited by: sweetfreak

[soluene]

Thanks for sharing, that is great.

[missgoddess]

i feel like taking that 2 my therapist wud b like tellin a trained professional how to do there job...i dont think theyd appreciate that from an 18 year old

[sweetfreak]

missgoddess,


Just because someone is a so-called trained professional does NOT mean they know everything. You know more about your phobia then they do, believe it or not, and you understand your limitations better than anyone else.


Also, some professionals are better with dealing with certain types of problems than others. Like sage says, find someone that works for YOU! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[Hale]

I have seen some therapists that would benefit from reading those do's and don't's. Thankyou for sharing that.

[sage]

What a wonderful list -- I'm going to save it elsewhere and print it out for future use.


Missgodess: I wonder if you COULD see yourself taking it to your therapist and saying, "A friend of mine got this list from her therapist. What do you think of these things?" or "I'd really like to know where you stand on each of these things...do you think we could talk about them?" That wouldn't be the same as "telling him/her how to do their job", butwould be incredibly valuable, I'd think. Remember, every therapist is trained to know ALL these things, but sometimes they just plain forget, or haven't seen someone very badly afflicted with phobia, so they lose track of it.


Thanks again for the list sweetfreak! And God bless that therapist of yours!

[sweetfreak]

sage,


Glad I could help in any way. It is a great list and the fact that my therapist handed it to me makes me trust him even more. I have noticed that he seems to be mostly just engaging me in conversation at first, and often goes into funny stories about his life. He is making me feel more and more at ease with him every session. At first it seemed a funny way to approach therapy, but now I understand what you meant about finding someone you trust and that it will take time.


Peace and God bless.