My expereince-Newbie!!

[christianbeauty]

Hi everyone I am new and I would like to share my expereine with you all!![img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]


I guess this phobia has been apart of me for several years. I am 21 years old and so I assume that it has been here for a very long time. I know the last time I was sick was around the age of 7-9. I remeber during that age range. I am really unsure of the age. After that I never got sick again so I think that is when it was triggered. Over the years I guess it grew, but it took a turn in high school when I developed a phobia of germs because germs could make me sick. I would not touch public doors or anything that others touched if I had not cleaned it first. I literally hallucinated, going crazy literally seeing the germs on my fingertips. Germs could be anywhere else on my body, but as soon as it touched my fingertips then that is when I would go into a washing frenzy. It got so bad that I started using tissues to touch things even in my own home!! My mother would get upset with me whenever I never opened the door in public...because I would just stand there and wait for somone to open it for me so that I not have to touch it.


I am a christian so when I got saved going into my freshman yearof college I prayed that God would take it all away and at the time I was only thinking of the germ phobia...never once did I think to be an emet until my freshman year in college I knew that there was something different from other people. I had a roommate who constantly got sick and I freaked out everytime having what I now know to be a panic attack. As the years grew things were normal. My junior year in college was the worst!! That was the turning point in my life. Spring semester starting in March I would have major panic attacks thinking constanly fearing that I was going to be sick. On a scale of 1-10..IT WAS A 10!!. It was soo bad that these panic attacks would wake me up in the middle of the night and I would be sooo tired and exhausted physically and emotionally that I could not go to class the next day.This would happen a lot and I had never missed soo much class. When the summer came I looked for online help, but nothing worked...Every night for entire month of June was horrible. I had panic attack after panic attack after panic attack. Iwas constantly praying for relief and not truly having faith...thus never getting relief.


My senior year this semester, I sought out help in our counseling center at school. This was truly the most helpful thing ever. In 2 months I felt like I could conquer these panic attacks. Get over my fear.I terminated therapy in Nov. So it has been a month and several weeks that I have been okay. I have only had one panic attack as opposed to daily fear.!! I am truly on the road to recovery!!

[alliecat]

Welcome to our family! I'm Allie, nice to meet you! It is excellent that you're on the road to recovery and asked for help. That is definitely the first step. A lot of people on this site are currently getting therapy for this, me included, so if you ever need to talk about that, or anything, we're all here for you!


xoxo


Allie

[Jenneh]

welcome to our family you.


[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Jen xxxx

[desertflower]

I guess I should post my experience as well since I am new.





First: I am SO glad I found this and SO GLAD I am not alone in my fear. My name is Nicole. I am married,thirty years old and have two children. I lead a very active lifestyle.





My mom use to have inner ear problems wen I was a child and she would get extremely ill every so often. I remember seeing her so sick and in the bathroom and being so afraid and hearing the sounds of her throwing up. One time i got so scared I called my aunt and cried "something is wrong with my mommy, please come oever" Then I ran outside and to the corner to watch for her to come. Of course she thought it was something way worse than it was. I can remember getting sick when i was a child and I remember it vividly. When I became an adult it got worse. YEARS went by before I got sick again. I have went through mosning sickness with two kids for three months at a time and still nothing compares to having the stomach virus to me. I PANIC! I seem to get sicker than everyone else when I get it. I gt sicker as the day goes by not better. I always get dehydrated and can't stop vomiting even if nothing is in my tummy. I end up in the ER hoping theywill help me. They give me Phenergan but I still vomit. Reglan usually helps as a last resort. But I get so scared! I do things to avoid getting sick like cleaning obsessively and stay away from crowded places when I can. I hate to be that way but I have to vomit. Why can others go for year without vomiting and I can't? And how did I go all through college without it?





I am also afraid I will be sick and it will be on a day when something good is planned and it will ruin it for me.





I'd just like to know I am not alone in my fear and that I am not the only one who fears their children crying in the night for fear that they may have puked? Or the only one who fears awakening ill themselves? The panic is what my friends tell me makes it worse on me but I don't know. Nothing is worse to me and I always am so pathetic and cry.....lke that helps me.





Thanks for listening.


Nicole

[jazz]

hey both, welcome to ies..you'll receive fabulous support from here [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[christianbeauty]

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE WELCOME!! I AM SO GLAD TO BE HERE AND ALL THAT GOODNESS!!! WOOHOOOOO LOL

[wing]

Hiii! I'm a little late but welcome! =) [heh..about not touching the door i do that in school too. I just wait til someone comes..if no one does i open it then clean my hand with Purell]

[sunshine16]

Hi you both! Yeah I know I'm a lil late here but thats typical of me eh? lol...sos anyways...
Welcome
to IES fourms.
Yay!!
Lol sorry.
Anywho guys, welcome, and I hope that you find the support here whenever you need it, because you can beat this damn thing! Hope to see you around the site. Luv, Laura <3

[ejb199]

Hey both of u!! i dont think my welcome note will be as glamorous as Lauras lol [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] but nevertheless welcome to our family!! everyone is lovely here and full of kind words....

keep posting and keep positive!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

ems xx