I need advice about not panicking when I travel

[cleo,]

I will be 18 this year and my boyfriend and I have booked a week at a cottage in Devon (my idea) partly as a nice holiday for us and partly because as I'm turning 18, legally an adult, I thought it would be the perfect time to take a big step and actually go on holiday, which I haven't been able to do for 2 years now as my Emetophobia has been at it's strongest and I am too scared to travel (fear of feeling ill far away from home/not being able to leave if I feel ill/panic etc.)

I thought this would be a good idea as I will be taking a big step by travelling and hopefully after this big step, I will be able to do more things as I can use it as a reminder that if I can do something that big without my phobia ruining it, I can do anything, thus being able to live my life more easily without feeling scared about feeling ill the whole time, as it currently prevents me from doing stuff I used to be able to do and miss doing. Plus, as I will be a legal adult this year I find it fitting that I kick this phobia which stems from my childhood fears once and for all by doing this.

I have been really looking forward to this holiday, yet slightly apprehensive as we are going by train; specifically 3 different trains, with a total journey time of 5 hours. For me this is the scariest thought in the whole world, and as the holiday draws closer (a month away now) I am feeling more panicky about the journey. The main worry for me is that I will feel ill on the train because I'll get panicky about going so far away and won't be able to get home, or that I'll be away from home for a week (a long time for me) and feel ill while I'm there without the comfort of my own home/bed etc..so many other things too.

I know I have to do this for myself and if I don't I will regret it forever, but as logical as my thinking is, emetophobia is taking a stronger hold and giving me bad thoughts and feelings of panic which drown out the rational thoughts. I really need advice on coping strategies whilst I'm away from home, ways to calm myself down and general comforting, rational thoughts of others, as they always have much more of an effect on me than if I'm just trying to tell myself the same things in my head.

Any advice or just anything you could offer would be appreciated so much, as I am really really worrying.
Thank you for anything you can offer.

[olschesky]

yes, you do need to do this......you will be so glad that you did! does your bf know about your emet? i would take plenty of distractions for the train ride....maybe a portable dvd player and some movies......crossword, or word game books, magazines.........

have you ever used dramamine? i use it for road trips......sometimes it even puts me to sleep......

i always feel better if i know where the restrooms are.....though i rarely ever use them.......

go have fun and tell us all about it!!

[cleo,]

Hi,
Yeah boyfriend knows about it and he's lovely about it and always supportive, so that offers a lot of comfort. No I haven't tried dramamine, the only problem with taking drugs to deal with it is that I suffer from mild epilepsy and am on meds to control that, so anti-anxiety things and other medications can mess with the dose or don't mix with it well..also i'd rather do it drug-free if possibly just so that i'm not relying on chemicals to control it, i'd rather learn to deal with the effects myself if possible.

I do occasionally take these herbal pills called Kalms, you may have heard of them, they just chill you out a bit so that you're slightly more relaxed and less likely to panic. I'm planning to bring lots with me so that I can take them if need be and calm down,

On a good day in terms of my anxiety, I really want to go on holiday and am really excited, and today happens to be a good day so feel a bit better about it..but I never know when the worries are going to hit..some days it just happens and all I can think about is the panic, but hopefully when I'm on that train and there's no turning back I might feel better because the apprehension is gone and I'm actually doing the thing..

Thanks for the advice

[paulinek]

yes you definitely need to go, and you will feel so great afterwards it'll spur you on to do other things - the more positive experiences you can have the more they'll cancel out the negative panicky feelings.

I'm not saying you won't feel panicky or funny on the train, but just think what things it is about being at home that make you feel safer there and try to recreate that on the train, try and create your own "bubble" - just me personally i've got a thing about not being sick indoors so like to carry one of those battery fans for some portable fresh-air, i also take a bottle of essential oil that i can drop onto a tissue and sniff, peppermint is ideal for nausea but if you're not keen on that choose something zingy and refreshing like a bergamot or citrussy one. I take a pack of peppermint smints or some chewing gum, some of those anti-nausea wristbands,a bottle of water and my ipod, just put together a little pack of things you know will help calm you down and have them in your handbag.

Devons supposed to be gorgeous so I'm sure you will have an absolutely fabulous time!

[hippychick]

I love love love the train and I miss it now I'm in Canada. Yu cant just hop on a train and go somewhere for the weekend like in the UK (well you can but it costs a lot lol and I don't find it as easy to access as in the UK) I'm super jealous and Devon is gorgeous so I know you'll have a blast.

The good thing about trains is they have stops, so you don't have to think about the journey in one 5 hour chunk you can break it up. Like if you're panicking you knoww you only have xx minutes until the next stop where you can get off if you need to, then when you get to the stop you only have xx minutes until the next one. For me if I know I can escape I feel much much safer even though I never use my escape route.

The other good thing on a train is you can move about. Find a seat you like in a carriage you like (sometimes the quiet coaches are emptier)

You can make your own safe space anywhere so don't think you need home to be safe. Another trick I use is if I feel sick and I'm panicking I ask myself 'would I feel this way if I were at home?' I spend a few mins picturing my house and being in it and usually decide that if I was at home I would feel fine so therefore I'm not really sick just anxious.

Have so much fun, take lots of pics. Put emet on hold for a week and just enjoy yourself.

[BreaRose]

My parents live 4 hours away from me so I end up driving there a few times a year and everytime I have to go, I always feel anxious and nervous about the drive due to being an emet so I totally understand where you're coming from.

I have my own little dumb rituals I do before I travel. I:
- never eat dairy products before leaving
- have a large bottle of water with ice in it and a box of crackers.
- bring my iPod loaded with my favorite songs.

Since you're not driving though, I would definantly recommend bringing a really soft blanket and/or pillow so you can lay your head down incase you do feel tired and maybe you can sleep some of the way.
I also tend to have some very minty chewing gum with me too so if I do start to feel a little "bleh" I can chew it and the mint helps take away the n* and I think the chewing itself helps release some of that tension.

Also! Try to get into a good conversation with your boyfriend. I know that's kind of a silly thing to plan out, but if you get into a good topic that you both can have a large opinion on, you'll be suprised how fast the time goes. And it can help keep your mind distracted enough from your anxiety.

Just remember that you're doing this for you and there is NO reason for you to feel n* or have any fear. This trip will be great and Happy Birthday, just incase no one tells you that before you go on your trip!

[cleo,]

Seriously everyone, thank you so much for all your advice, I'm so happy I joined this website (only yesterday) because even just knowing that there are others having the same feelings and worries as me makes me feel a little more at ease, less panicky and alone

All your advice is lovely and very helpful - I totally agree with everyone who mentions bringing a bottle of water, I never go anywhere without one, and as for chewing gum/essential oils and nausea wrist bands they all sound like good solutions so I think I will put together a kind of "pack" before I go: even just knowing that I have a pack of little solutions with me might make me feel better even if I don't use them in the end.

This is all so valuable, anything else anyone has to say would still be great, I just need all the prep I can get. Thanks

[littleseven]

iPod. iPod. iPod!! Put some good relaxing meditation music on there. If you have trouble falling asleep, just listen to the music. Or maybe even an audiobook - a good one you can really get lost in and your mind will be taken off other things. I always have an iPod when I travel by plane, so I won't hear anyone getting sick!