I can’t handle being a mother with emet!!

[skinnyme]

[img]smileys/smilies_27.gif[/img]I am just wondering if I can get any reassuring tips from any moms out there, see my 3 yr old had a bug on tuesday for the 8th time in her 3 years of life. I feel like such a coward. Plus it really sucks that she wakes up in the morning with it, so I am alone all day to take care of her, but my MIL takes my 2 little kids on tues and thurs and she took her Thank God!!! It really wasnt a bad bug but she caught it from her cousin who had had it from her brother. So yesterday I am at the mall and my cell rings and I panicked because it was the school ( I have a 10yr old daughter also) She said she felt sick. OMG I started shaking uncontrollably in Old Navy, I had to leave. Told her to have the nurse give her tums and lie down for a while. Could not get ahold of myself. I came home and 5 min later she called again~ she wants to come home, again I froze, I could not get myself to leave the house to get her so I took 2 Xanax pills, I think in the back of my mind was this~ OK she must be getting this bug, she just must be!! And I guess I was hoping that if I stalled long enough and she was to get sick then she would at school and be done with it since it was before lunch time and she didnt have much food in her system. But I ppicked her up. I felt so crippled, so helpless. But guess what? nothing she was fine. I was very grateful, although she was quite pissed at me for not letting her eat until dinner~ which was some toast! I felt awful about the whole thing, mad at myself for getting this way and letting emet consume every aspect of my life. Does anyone else feel kinda of a false sense of security with "close calls"?


meaning, it didnt happen this time but next time might be "the time". I just feel like I am living my life trying to avoid the enevedible, and its not always going to be like that.Can anyone give me some sort of advice? Im tired of my hellish life that I live. Do any mothers dread the nightime? You always wonder who will wake up in the night sick? you hear someone rolling around in bed and it scares you? I do, plus tons of other crap that would take all day to type. I would love to hear any responses to this post. Thanks so much and I look forward to hearing from you

[2jo2]

Sorry, I'm not a mom. But you know what? You are, and you became a mom despite your emet. That is very very brave.


We all have those moments, whether it be kids or other family members or people at work or whatnot. I have them just about daily. I'm always looking at my husband if he scratches his belly, if he looks tired, if he stays in the bathroom too long, if he has to take an alka-seltzer. It sucks. I am over-joyed if it turns out all my worrying was for nothing. But that starts a vicious cycle ofworry waiting for the next time.... just like you are saying.


It feels like something good happens, only to have something bad happen. It's up and down every day. Just yesterday in fact, I've been worried because this one guy was out of work sick, we had our Christmas party at work where everyone brings something to share. He came back that day, and made a comment that it was obvious he'd been out sick v*ing. I was terrified to eat anything, watched him like a hawk to make a mental note not to touch anything he touched, I made myself crazy and didn't enjoy the party at all. I find out later in the day when I quizzed him on his status that he started out congested and that any sickness makes him v* because he has stomach trouble. I was relieved. THEN I picked my husband up from the airport last night and on the road away from the airport there was a guy stopped on the side of the road with his flashers on kneeling behind his car, I didn't see it but I know what he was doing. I started obsessing, wondering if he was on my husband's plane, if he was spreading sickness thru the plane's air. It's like I can never get a break, it's eating me alive.... I can see exactly why you froze when your daughter called, it's like going into a live fire for us. It's like we physically can't go into those situations. I totally understand.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]Please don't feel badly about yourself for it, you're trying best you can. You went after all, didn't you? That means something.


I hope you're doing better.

[skinnyme]

Yep, all in a nutshell!!! "Consumes us" is exactly what it does. I have this sort of theory as to why our emet is so consuming. Think about it... fear of flying? Dont go on vacation, drive there, there are options to getting around it. with emet its something that is gonna happen to us or anyone else at anytime and anyplace and there is no warnings to it. I dread the winter months cause of it. its awful and i know i need help. Had no clue that this phobia existed!!

[2jo2]

Exactly. When I told my brother about my fear, he said "Getting sick is normal, but people having phobias is normal too, it's nothing to be ashamed of." I thought about that for quite a while, and it somehow brings me peace, thinking that yes, getting sick probably is normal, it's a body function, everyone does it. Nothing will happen to me if I get sick, I'll get over it. But my problem is getting my body to listen to that idea. It's like my mind short circuits and can't listen, sends my body into a death sequence, like get out or you'll die. I need help too. I want to get better.

[e-lizabeth]

I'm an emet mother - I have a 5 year-old daughter and a 6 week-old son. My daughter does not get sick that often, although she did a lot when she was younger, but I think she's starting to show early signs of the phobia herself. I know exactly how you feel, exactly what you describe, I can totally relate. Are you on meds, by any chance, I mean other than Xanax....I found that Celexa really helped me a ton, just kept me stable so that it didn't consume me, but also, I've had years of therapy and I think that's really important as well...really important.

[skinnyme]

Thanks everyone who has replied to me, yes I am supposed to be on... Wellbutrin, Seroquel, and Effexor. I also have moosd swings big time because of marital issues. But none of these meds have helped so far. My husband is not really too supportive of my emet. I need a reassuring place and I think i have found it here. I am so sorry to say that if I were like this before I had kids, I can can honestly say I really dont think I would have had them because of this emet. If the V tendency is located in the brain, then why can we all be opened up and have that part of our brains zapped!!! LOL but really I am so bad I would do this in a heartbeat!!! Would anyone else consider this outrageous thought??????

[Melikasa]

I am a mother with emet. I wish I could give you some advice that would make it just go away. I don't think that you wouldn't have gone through with having kids because of the emet. That REALLY IS giving in to it. I know from the time I was little I SWORE up and down that I wasn't going to get married or have kids. This was true till 4 years ago when I met my husband. Well the not getting married things didn't work (lol) Then there was this DEEP urge to have a child. I KNEW I had emet. I KNEW I was going to be freaky about the morning sickness and about my guy getting sick.
I don't think you are coward.I also think that you would have just dealt with it if there was no option. I think alot of mothers are like that. I believe someone else mentioned a while back. When there is a way out we don't deal with it. We pass them off to husbands and MIL's and friends and other family members. The thing is that if the option wasn't there I am sure that you would have been able to handle it. Either way your children are getting attentiona and help that they need.
It is cripling and discouraging but we will all get through it. Especially if we can get support from somewhere or someone. I have found that Celexa has been my God send. I am not even on Xanax, Travel tabs or Ativan any more. My son is not even 2 yet but he has been sick twice and with no relatives near by to help not even my husband and I was able to deal with it and freak later. More a rush like "I can't believe I did it"
Keep up the good work, you are a wonderful mother and just on the side it kinda sounds like maybe your daughter (with Christmas coming and all) pulled one on ya to get out of school. Maybe not but I know the trick that can be played now and then from having nieces and nephews in school. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[redapple]

welcome to the site! I was wondering if you're in any sort of therapy for emet? I take prozac and it has helped me but I've decided that as soon as i get on christmas break from college I'm going to begin going to therapy, because I'm so tired of feeling scared and hopeless. It sounds like you're at that point too. e-lizabeth believes that her therapy has been really important in helping her to function normally; it's likely we will find help there as well. we can learn to deal with moments like what you went through with your daughter. keep fighting!


[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[donna1216]

I am an emet mom, too!! I can relate!! I die every time my daughter says her tummy hurts, I think she has a little bit of reflux, because every now & then she says she feels like she's going to throw up in her throat, but her tummy doesn't hurt. . .I panic. I just want winter to be over, so I don't worry about them touching things other kids have touched, my younger daughter is in a play group that meets at McDonald's play place, and I don't want to take her in the winter--climbing in those tunnels and slides--germ city!! I don't let them ride in the front of shopping carts--gross, stomach bug city. I make them wash their hands when we get home from the store!! SOmetimes I can't sleep because I am afraid one of them is going to wake up v'ing! I know how you feel. We went all last winter w/out a bug, and I know I can't be that lucky this year!!!

[ontariogirl]

I am a emet mom to, I cringe when my son says his stomach hurts or he feels sick. I had him the pail and go in there every few minutes asking how do you feel now, constantly asking him. When he says I am better now I feel relief. It is hard. I know the panic feeling, the shaky, the tears of frustration. I had my first son at the age of 19, he will be 21 and it is so hard. Knowing that I have this phobia I had another son and he is 12. I hate this phobia so much. Sometimes I wish I could run away but I cant. So when he is sick I am there for him freaking out in my head. I dont leave him alone unless he wants to be alone. I empty the pail with gloves on andthen do the clean, cleaning everything in the bathroom, and continue with my hellish "lysol" cleaning the apt. Because you freak out, dont want to be around the kids when they are ill certainly does not make you a coward or a bad parent.


Night time is the worse, when I go to bed I worry that he will wake me up and say I was sick or he feels sick. I sleep with ear phones on attached to my walkman and listen to the radio, just in case I hear someone being sick. I have been like this for 30 years now, andI am still the same person as I was when this began. I just make sure that my hands are always clean and if I am really in panic mode I will take pills to relax me. I to hate the winter months they are my hell months, I am not the same from late Oct.- May, it is hell but you are not alone at all!.

[jennyleigh1975]

You CAN handle being a mom and being an EMET. We will all get through it, and one day our children will be grown and gone. We have to remember that there ARE probally many more moms who have lived through this and survived. Though they have not told me, I am almost certain that my g-mother who raised me and my aunt whom I adore, are BOTH EMETS. They made it through, and so can we!!!! We are blessed to have our children.

With that said ..............

I do live in the real world. I do worry about when "it" is gonna happen again. I do get panicky everytime one of my children says their stomach hurts. This is stuff that I think about EVERYDAY!!!! I think about it everytime we go out somewhere or when my kids play with other kids. I am VERY adamant (sp) about handwashing and such, and I VERY RARELY eat after ANYONE. I am also careful about touching my face, ect ....... Bleach and Lysol are my friends, LOL!!!!

We are wonderful moms despite our EMET. and our kids will love us just the same, no matter how we deal with the vomit stuff!!

Edited by: jennyleigh1975

[ontariogirl]

I totally agree with Jenny, we are good moms there is no doubt about it. It is hard and we always come through it!

[drummers-wife]

What is Celexa? What does it treat? My doc put me on paxil because he thinks I have more anxiety/stress problems.I really don't notice a difference since taking it a year ago. Maybe I am more relaxed, but not sure if this is the drug I need to be on.

[pippi]

Another mom here shaking her head in understanding!
I panic all winter...hate winter because of this bug. But I'm making it even with my children getting sick.I know that someday they will be sick and I won't have to deal with it in that way.

[cassiefp]

I am sooo relating to you. Some kids get earaches, some get fevers, some get strep, my kid gets the stomach viruses. She averages 2-3 viruses a year. She just had one 1 1/2 weeks ago and then today went to lunch with someone and obviuosly ate something bad and v* an hour later. I couldn't help her because I knew she had just eaten and it would be full food. Usually the stomach virus attacks her at night and her stomach had emptied or she has been complaining of a tummyache and I have cut off her food intake. I feel that I cannot deal with it any more. I have been on the "stomach flu diet" (not eating) for a week now and today was the first day I felt like eating without fear. Then this happens. Even though I believe it was from the sandwich, I probably won't be eating for another few days "just in case". I feel that God granted me my daughter with the "stomach thing" just to help me with this insane fear! I can usually deal with her being sick but my fear of me catching it is beyond! I don't take any drugs. I basically just do the "diet" thing. I cannot enjoy most things and am compulsive about germs, hand washing, touching things, etc..

[skinnyme]

Cassiefp... Just wondering how old you daughter is? my daughter is three today and she goes through the same thing with bugs, but most of them are very mild since they hit her when she gets up in the morning. But yes, I do all of that stuff!! It's totally maddening isn't it? But unlike you I cannot deal with it in my head! My body just moves and cleans her up and comforts her from far away, but inside i am dying!! I shake severly, my mouth gets sooo dry and my teeth chatter uncontrollably. What a mess I am!!

[jennyleigh1975]

cassiefp!! I could have written your post myself!! You sound just like me!! The compulsion about germs, hand washing, ect.....

My son is even my child who is the most prone to vomiting, even when its not a virus.

I so know how you feel!!


Just curious ......... what states are you US moms from. I am in Georgia.Edited by: jennyleigh1975

[skinnyme]

I am from Rhode Island, tiny little state in New England. Freakin stomach bug city in the winter!! You emet moms are all me!!!!! it just feels soooo comforting knowing that I am not alone!!

[jennyleigh1975]

YES!!!! It is so nice to know we are not alone and that we are not the only ones with this fear!!

[pippi]

YOu aren't alone!
Just come here to us and vent! We all understand!

[cassiefp]

Wow! I can't believe people actually replied to me. I live in Southern California and my daughter is 10 years old. She has been prone to stomach viruses since she was born but it totally intensified when she hit elementary school.I truly believe God gave this to her to help me. But it hasn't helped yet! It has amazed me how many people are on this site and how you all are just like me to one degree or another. It is shocking! I thought I was so weird until I found this site.

[jennyleigh1975]

I thought I was wierd to, but I was so glad to find out that other people have this same fear, and that it has a name!!

[madisonsmom]

Why is your daughter prone to getting stomach viruses??


I am a mom of 3. I sound JUST LIKE ME!! Isnt it awful. I just wish I could run away. REALLY! My youngest is 10 months and I so scared of her getting it. I can take of my kids v*** but I dont want it! That is what I am scared of!

[30yr.old.emet.male]

The mature 30 and over crowd who's fed up with the endless drama on this board, check out the link on my profile. New website for us. Under 30s are welcome only if you're seriously mature. First attempt at bringing this drama there, and you are history.