V*ing this year has DEF helped me

[ejb199]

I was thinking that since this year has been the first in 10 that i have v*ed, it has actually really helped me. I just wanna throw a little positivity to all those who have v*ed or done 'it' in the last few weeks or so. I know that many of us can get back into our ways and end up worse after an episode - but think of the positive things abt what has happened and how that can help us (YOU) get better/feel better abt it now.

a. v*ing has made me realise when i REALLY feel sick and when it is just panic. It has helped me distinguish between the two. I think after 10 years of v* free time - i had forgotten really. And i think thats why many of us fear it so much - coz we dont really remember that it isnt so bad....

b. I try to see v* as my friend.....(altho damn hard) - I try to view it as a way for my body to get rid of something terrible. And the v* is the good part getting rid of that....i try to keep that view in mind that it is protecting my body when i REALLY feel sick now(like two weeks ago!!)

c. the PANIC is far worse than actually v*ing. and lets face it - v*ing DOES make u feel soooooo much better than the moments just before!

d. Im still ALIVE. i still have my happy life with JON, my FAMILY, my JOB, my FRIENDS, my BOOKS, OPPORTUNITIES to do anything with my life.

so there are a few things - add as you like or what positive things u can get from doing 'it' recently.....

ems xx

[alliecat]

God I wish I had your positivity. You make it seems as though there really is light about the situation... so thank you for the encouraging words. I can't wait to see if I ever get a mindset like that. I know what you mean about how we can "forget" how it feels to actually be SICK. That happened to me a couple years back because before that, I hadn't been sick for like 8 or 9 years. So when people asked me if I was going to be sick (I guess I looked it) I said no, and that I didn't think so... then it happened. I was just like, oh, I guess I was! Its weird. But now, I can remember what it feels like... and I focus so much of my thoughts on it... its my OCD, unfortunately.


xoxo


Allie

[Jenneh]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!


i LOVE THAT POST SO MUCH!!!!!! ok... so a little over the top maybe??? but that is honestly FANTASTIC that u have recognised all those things!!! those are the kinda things that altho i hvent v*ed this year.. and hvent snce i was 11, i've still got myself to realise them. especially the "v*ing is my friend" one lol. tht is so true really!!


Jen xxxxxxxxxxx

[2jo2]

Thanks for that and congratulations on feeling good about it. I feel like I'm more scared of the unknown and I always have been, no matter what it pertained to. The unknown part of being sick is so scary to me, like when will it end and that sort of thing. But thank you for using your experience to help us all, it really means alot and does help.

[jazz]

That's really inspiring..i think im gradually learning to think like that, except, I haven't been sick *touch wood* in a long while..im still terrified that it will sneak up on me..i want to have some sort of control when it happens, but the anticipation makes me wanna cry..
i always think that feeling sick is a thousand times worse than "the deed" and the relief you feel after doing it,this is what i learned from my last incident. i was genuinely surprised at how much better i felt.


so..id just hate having to live with the knowledge that id been sick recently..especially now iv established 5 no v* years.

[ejb199]

aww guys!! im so pleased that i have made u guys feel a little bit better!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] thats what i wanna do! and i know how hard it is o be positive abt this. i might print this thread out to read in moments of realy panic - then i can at least try and reassure myself!!

keep thinking abt all ur positive reasons too - its the only way to try and help ourselves thro all this emet c**p. we WILL do it guys! (btw - its only the drugs im on that have changed my mind...before starting effexor i was a crazy gal - but now i feel much saner and happy!)

ems [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[Kazzia]

What a great uplifting post to read! I can sympathise with the fact that after so many years of not being sick, it's hard to distinguish real nausea from exacerbated nausea due to panicking. It's 10 and a half years now since I was last sick, and it's becoming more of a faded memory (although that day I can remember more clearly than any other day that year - how naff!) My logical mind knows that the panic and extreme nausea is worse than the relief after doing the deed itself, but the illogical phobia comes to the fore in such situations. I remember after the last time I was sick breathing a sigh of relief because I felt so much better. What probably installed my phobia was that I went on to be sick twice more that night, and then was nearly sick again but had grown so tired and my throat hurt so much that I just wanted it to go away and I fought the feeling off. I think if I had only been sick just that once, I might never have got this phobia! (Cos I'd been sick once the year before from travelsickness).


But still, a nice post, and should give a certain amount of comfort, no matter how small, to everyone out there...and puts things in perspective a bit more.

[bethany]

yes how comforting
i can't wait to feel that way...
i often wonder what it will be like to v*, and when i tell people about my phobia, i always add that part of how scary it is is just that i simply forget what it's like to V*. and i have all these illogical fears about it. its awful

i am so happy to hear those things tho, definitely..i am just so scared of the moments leading up to it!! [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

Okay thats all well in good. I am happy to see this has
helped those who are more phobic of THEMSELVES being sick. I v'ed twice
in October and it's not me v'ing that I am overly concerned about...but
any advice on how to deal with OTHERS v'ing??? That is where my real
problem is.



Miriam

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[chloe]

Emma your post is fantastic. I'm so pleased that you are feeling more comfortable with your emet and able to recognise the "goodness" of the deed. When I feel ill in that way I try to think of it as being my body's defence against something bad but it is so difficult...especially when the panic sets in. I agree with you that after you do feel better.


You ended your post on a very positive note - in counting your blessings.


We all should count our blessings I mean - yes we panic, we fear v* in every possible form but at the end of the day we have done it in the past and survived it, we have the support of the emet family and eventually we will overcome this fear that consumes us daily.


Keep thinking positive about your experience Emma, and if you keep referring back to this thread when you feel nauseaus you will realise it is a 'good' thing (sort of?!).


I have to admit thinking of V* as a friend is a long way off for me but I do know what you are trying to get at.


*hugs* and congrats on passing the "survival of the deed". You did great! X

[charzysbebe]

Okay thats all well in good. I am happy to see this has helped those who are more phobic of THEMSELVES being sick. I v'ed twice in October and it's not me v'ing that I am overly concerned about...but any advice on how to deal with OTHERS v'ing??? That is where my real problem is.

Miriam

Miriam...what part of others being sick are you afraid of? What is the worst that can happen if someone else v's??? Let's start from there. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Charlotte

[sage]

Miriam,


Since fear of others only is a rare part of an already rare disorder, let me reassure you that your emet is 100 times easier to cure than those who fear mainly themselves. That is because the cure for all phobias is stopping the avoidance, i.e., gradual exposure. Since you're already seeing a therapist, then you're doing all you can at this time. Your therapist should know when to begin the exposure therapy, and how. Luckily, we have excellent websites set up for this, film lists, etc. Really, the cure is right there waiting for the taking, so to speak. I don't mean to oversimplify it because it will indeed be very hard work, and tough going at times, however there's really no need to ask where to start - the answer to that is clear. What may be more of a grey area is when to start, and what other issues your therapist thinks are more important to work on just now. At any rate, he or she will be the best judge of that, assuming you're discussing it together and making an informed decision.


Keep the faith!