Feel like a loser...

[Galadriel]

Hey guys,


I guess Im just feeling down, mebe its pms talking. Well, I just got out of college, and I need to find work, and I just dont even know where to begin. It seems so daunting, espeically with emet/mild IBS thrown in. The problem is, well one is my family refuses to admit or see that I even have these 2 things, so they act like I should be acting totally normal and with it, and well I do not want to be babied or anything, but denying the obvious isn't helping. Second of all, this area is bad on jobs anyways, I don't really even know where to begin. I know I have to do something tho. Of course this all is lousy for self esteem issues. I feel like such a bum loser. Like practically everyone my age is working, and here Im stuck, and not sure where to look or begin. Ive looked at the newspapers, and most of those offered require prior experience or something. I know I just sound lousy. I just feel depressed, and course I have all the worries of what if I have a panic attack or feel sick or IBS acts up on the job? Ugh I just dont care.

[jazz]

aw im sorry you're feeling so out of sorts..but it's important to emphasise that you're not alone! Whenever you feel sick, or have a nasty bout with IBS, log onto these forums..especially if you feel as though you have no immediate support.
Perhaps your family don't want to accept that you have these problems, because you've done so well uptil now.
I'm sure if you were to point out to them, that these issues are making you stressed, then they'll be more inclined to help you out..
Maybe this is no consellation, but when my cousin left college, she didnt have a "clue" what she wanted to do,she searched for a job for 4 months, before settling at a credit card company..where she's happy and earning good money.
What type of job are you looking for? Remember you have the qualifications to do whatever you choose, so they'll always be oppurtunities open for you.
I hope this was of some help..

[princessmel]

I've had IBS bouts and panic attacks at work, but I just work through them or I keep myself busy. Plus, you have this site to go to at work if you are feeling yucky. Where are you from? There should be some department stores hiring right now or something. They're probably not in the paper. You'll probably have to go there. That's what I had to do. I wanted another part time job. To be honest with you, working and being on a set schedule helps with my emet and anxiety.

[ejb199]

Hey Laura (thats ur real name right...if i remember rightly!)

ur not a looser sweety! im sure many people feel like that too - espec when jobs a sparse and u need the extra cash!

are u looking for a permanent job tho or one just for xmas? if one for xmas then i know exactly how u felt. i used to work in the holidays in our local supermarket. i hated it so much coz i felt so trapped. i wld never eat before work - and then id feel even worse!

ems x

[sweetfreak]

Galadriel,


Please know you are not a loser. You graduated college...you should be proud. I couldn't even get through enough college to get my AA degree...I am 6 credits short. I am 33 and livewith my parentson disability right now because of my fears. I used to to all kinds of office work, but I don't think I can go back to that. The thought of doing it again is a fate worse than death. That is no joke. I would rather be dead than have to go back to the dreaded "office environment". So...what I am gonna do with my life?At the moment...I have no idea...and it's a really scary feeling. But...I don't think I am a loser...and if I don't think I am a loser...than you definitely are not one! Chin up, girl. You should be proud of who you are. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[roxi27]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Did you graduate, or are you
just home for the holidays? Finding a part time job for just a
month can sometimes be difficult. I find that being up front and
honest with your employer is the best thing to do. You don't have
to tell them you have emet, just tell them you have "fears" that
may cause a panic attack. Assure them you will do your best not
to let the panic attaks interfear with your performance on the
job. This way, if you need to leave one day, they will
understand. Plus you feel better going to work everyday knowing
that you can leave if you have to. I was up front with my boss,
and I've only had to leave once. He was so understanding.
He even called later in the evening to make sure I was ok. As for
your family not quite understanding your problems, I think we have all
been through this at some point in our struggles with this
phobia.. It sucks! Trying to explain something to people
who will NEVER fully understand. I think after a while my family
just accepted it. They will never truly know what you are going
through, but just show them you are trying. Thats the best
you can do. Remeber, this phobia sounds as strange to them, as it
would if someone told you they had genuphobia. (the fear of
knees) lol. Good luck! Carrie

[Galadriel]

Hey there!


Thank you for all the thoughtful replies. I am currently out of college (I just finished my last semester here a week or 2 ago) and so I am looking for more fulltime work. Thank you for helping me feel more ok about myself. Its tough because I feel like I should be doing something, and its just well I get to feeling useless sometimes. I did accomplish a lot today tho. I just hope I can find something that I can do that pays decent and that I can just feel good about doing or at least like Im doing something! I just fear that if I did say anything about fears or IBS then they wouldn't hire me or something.

[ejb199]

Hey there
im pleased you had a productive day and ur feeling abit more positive! i know how u feel tho - it is def a daunting time when coming out of colleage or uni and realising that u need a proper job. i felt the same when i finished uni coz a. i didnt really know what to do, b. i just assumed i wouldnt get a job and c. i was worried abt panicking and getting silly. but none of this stuff was very relevant. i find myself so busy at work that i just dont have time to panic or think abt emet!

also ive been working in my job for over 18 mths now and ive had 3 days off sick! thats good going for me!

youll find something - just keep looking and applying and staying positive!

ems x *hugs*

[Galadriel]

Hey ems!


thank you for the kind words. Where do you work? Im thinking maybe of a grocery store or something, Im not sure what to do! This area is also tough for jobs to begin with. It is quite daunting! I just have to find something, and hope that my boss is decent and such.

[ejb199]

Hey Laura,
well i used to work in a supermarket - but since leacing uni, i wanted to do something with my language skills ( i studied german) - so i managed to get a job in sales for a software company. there HQ is in california - santa clara.

i sell to the german speaking territories. i love it coz the people in my office are lovely and its a small office so i always feel clam and can trust the people around me not to get sick. and also i have no direct contact with customers - its all pone work.

But i still dont kow if thats what i want to do...i have no idea really. its just a job. as long as im earning some money then thats it really. you will def find your 'thing' one day - what ur meant to do - but i dont really think anyone does until they are much older really....so dont worry if u feel all confused now! i think the majority of young people feel the same! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

Where abts in the States are u located? do u live at home with ur rents or are u planning to move?

*hugs!*
ems x

[Galadriel]

I agree, its tough to know what you want to do, and usually you can't do it until you get older and get more experience. I do still live with my dad, and I live in New York State (upper rural country area). I just have to find out what I want to do and well I have found out what I DONT want to do from some previous jobs lol.

[ejb199]

well at least u now know! all experiences are meant to mean something hey!! wow New York - i know not the city - but still - New York! i just LOVE America - sorry im so sad coz ive always had some obsession with the US!! LOL. im not really familiar with the rest of New York State tho - arent there the Catskills up north...?

I figure that as long as i dont dread my job then it is ok...but like i said - i think the things we 'really' want to do come later - like with experience as u say...
have a look around ur town and maybe send ur CV in - and then the things u really want to do maybe try voluntary work or something if u have time - to try and get experience....is there anything u really wanna do? or that u really think ud enjoy one day?

ems x