Finally discovered what is wrong with me

[damean29]

Hello fellow emetohobes,

Its been years in discovering what is wrong with me. Since I was a child I have always had intense fear of vomit, fear of others vomit, and fear of nausea. I describe this fear like it is another limb. Always present, always waiting. Mostly this fear escalates if I am going to have to eat in a social setting... at work, family/holiday dinners, out to eat. I experience bloating, shaking, sweaty palms, sour stomach, all before I have to eat. It doesn't have to be before eating in a social setting, but is more prevalent then. I fear the anticipation of "what if I feel like throwing up." Today I was at the gym and my wife text me if I would like to go out to eat tomorrow nite. Immediately, the fear originated in the pit of my stomach. I was able to finish my workout but afterwards I experience the usual symptoms, bloating, throat constriction, hard to swallow. I was able to "fight" this off but now all my energy will be in "preparing" and readying myself for tomorrow. I will eat less than normal and possibly skip meals depending on how bad the symptoms are. Most of the time I am able to fight through eating out but it is an agonizing torture and I believe I am only successful because I practically starve my self beforehand. I will have to "test" each bite to make sure the nausea and anxiety associated with it do not "attack" me. I have lots more ot sure and am willing to listen to anyone else's stories. Thank you.

[olschesky]

welcome.........it's amazing all the different ways we deal with our emet.......i get anxious also when going out to dinner.......most times once i get there i'm ok....it's just the getting there part that seems the hardest for me.....

keep posting...

[jadepanic]

god,i know just how u feel...it happens to me AFTER eating and it happens at home and when im out to eat....i have a massive panic attack which can last hours...it sounds as if your wife does not know about ur fear...u should think about telling her,she would more than likely be very understanding im sure and then u wouldnt be forced to go out to eat as regulary perhaps.I'm here if u want to talk,jade.xx

[damean29]

i did tell my wife this week. She felt sorry for me and frustrated but I don't think she will ever understand. I only told her because I had one of my attacks while at work, I'm still not sure if it was a panic attack because I had no tightening of the chest or difficulty breathing but it went like this... I began the morning with a decent breakfast and coffee (note: breakfast is okay to eat for me usually), on the drive to work I had been thinking "What if I have nausea while at work? How will i excuse myself? Will i make it to the bathroom?" Gradually these feelings subsided but after I got to work and was sitting at my desk, i began feeling bloated and belching, and then the what ifs started rushing a thousand miles in hour, then sweaty plams, felt clammy, queasy, belching, and then full blown nausea. i tried to fight it but felt certain I could not so I went to the bathroom, splashed cold water on myself, didn't work, nausea continued and my throat felt like it was constricting and hard to swallow, I was so filled with anxiety I had bowel movement (which often happens in an attack), sweating, praying for it all to go away, continued shaking and then it gradually faded away and I was able to go back to work. During the whole attack it was if I was oblivious to everything around me because all my energy was focused on trying to stop the nausea. does any of this to sound familar to you? I am at the point where I am sick of felling this and trying to find answers. I appreciate your reply, it helps alot.

[damean29]

Yeah i can usually fight it off. Sometimes a few beers halps calm me down, but my wife notices my nervous shaking and how I change the way I drink and eat. i usually take small sips at first to "Test" the oncoming anxitey and nausea. In fact I sometimes milk the first beer and the second and third usullay go down good. Then when food comes, I repeat the promise. Inspect the meat to be sur eit is fully cooked and make sure there are no ingredients (condiments usually) and then take small tiny bites. If these go down and I feel my stomach is okay, I quickly consume the food so that the nausea and fears do not have a chance to come back. All my concentration is focused on getting the food down and I am not very social or talkative.

[Ameghino]

I feel the same Damean all the time. I spend my whole day thinking 'what if'. Its hard for anyone to really understand how it feels. My partner gets really frustrated with me as i cant explain how im feeling as i fear i will loose control.
Im the same i can normally eat breakfast no problem but as soon as im in my car on the way to work the 'what if' starts and i cant talk myself down. Not a day will go by when i dont feel S*. So please remember your not alone on this. Take care x

[jadepanic]

Damean...its like I'm hearing about myself..and that "attack" you say you had at work,was deffinetly a panic attack.It happens to me this way EVERY evening and accationally through the days aswell.I too can usually eat a good breakfast and sometimes a luch aswell...but an evening meal is a completly different story with 9 times out of 10 follows with a full blown attack...which can last anything up to hours at a time.I think about V* every second of every day and through out the night if I cant sleep as I also suffer with insomnia which is due from the Emetophobia and panic attacks...We have discussed this in other threads,but do you have an I-phone?? you can but an app by Joseph Clough which is called overcome Emetophobia and I'm finding it very very good.you have to listen to it every day or eveing (I find it gets me to sleep at night) for 30 days and then use it when you need to after this time.Its helped calm me down when I have been in a full blown attack,which nothing else has helped...so it must be doing something right...I don't no if it can CURE emetophobia,but I will now try anything,so hopefully it has some benefit.Like I said,I'm here for you if you would like to talk or know any more about anything.Jade.xx

[Marmite]

So much of what you describe happens to me. I have a hard time going out for dinner or just eating in the evening altogether. If I am out with people I will always ask them if they think that my meal looks okay and I always check to make sure it is cooked properly. When I am not in a state of panic I can think really logically about it but come the next panic and I am down again. Its really awful. Sometimes I hold my breath - as if I am keeping something down - I get quite shaky and feel like my body is burning up inside, my mind seems to go blank and I just want to run off - but where too? I also hate nights - I so long to just be able to get into bed relaxed and fall into a blissful sleep rather than running on nervous energy. I tried hypnotherapy - not sure what good it was but a lot of people saw a big difference in me but on the whole I didn't feel it did me much good when the next panic came along.

[damean29]

Hello Amehino, Jadepanic,and Marmite! I do not have an I-phone but will check out what you suggested. Thanks. Marmite - I too hold my breath alot, former girlfreinds and now my wife always ask why do I do that. We all sound the same! Today I went to a psychiatrist for the first time! She listened for about an hour, asked me to keep a daily record of thoughts, attacks, and stratgeies I use to calm myself. I've booked 2 more sessions. I had no problem talking to her and didn't feel like I was gonna vomit. anyone ever do a google search and check out all those "cures" and self-help programs? Anyone ever try one or the one offered by one of the Admins from this website? They sound like the usual BS you see adverstised on the web. I just ate a protein shake, 1 tablespoon of olive oil, and 1 cup of miniwheats! Now I feel like having an orange! Takwe care everyone and thank you so much for "listening."