When my fear of v was most intense, to the point that I'd literally rather die than v, the thing that terrified me the most was feeling of inevitability. When I was in high school, it was really, really bad. I'd think, OMG I'm 16, how on God's earth am I going to make it through my whole life without it happening. When a norovirus was going around school, I'd just want to lock myself in my room at home and never come out. For a person that feared v more than death, it's hard to relate to an average person who terrifying it was to have to go to school for 6 hours and be in a room with a bunch of other people when noro is going around like wildfire. I would be so depressed all day. Once a buddy of mine said that he ate a certain restaurant all the time and was fine, then one day out of the blue just had a bad turkey sandwich and ended up being food poisoned and v for 2 days. It can make me so paranoid sometimes. You just don't know. Everything can feel like Russian Roulette.
Anyway, I'm sure you guys have thought about v being inevitable. How have you guys dealt with this? Luckily I'm not as bad I used to be with my emet and a lot of fight or flight heart-racing reaction to v or seeing people do it or seeing it on the ground has greatly abated. But sometimes when I'm laying in bed at night, I still have these thoughts that keep me awake. Wondering when it will happen. Where it will happen. Will it be in the privacy of my own home or out in public. Will it be something I eat tomorrow? Will I catch a norovirus?