Haven't been to school at all this week. Choices? Advice?

[fedup_emet]

I'm a senior this year, and I really want to graduate with my friends this year. Only problem is: I have already missed almost 10 days of school this year. My anxiety attacks have been spilling into the morning and preventing me from going to school. I really want to try the night program at my school but there's issues there too. Theres this one girl there that for some reason hates my guts and harasses me nonstop for no reason when I used to just like her statuses on facebook [but thats not the huge problem here]. Also, my mom knows that my school's night program is full of drug addicts and screw-ups so she refuses to put that up as an option. My guidance councelor is zero help in this matter, she just thinks I need to talk to the school psychologist...no. I refuse to talk to any administration about my issue. I can't stand it. This is why I miss school because I put myself into an attack thinking "it might happen in school again and I'll look like a psycho again." My school's night program is from 2:30pm-6 I think, and my anxiety is almost completely not there by then. I just want to graduate on time. Does anyone have any advice for me? And don't tell me to see a doctor/psychologist, because I am seeing on regularly. That's what people were telling me on yahoo answers...not a good source, but I'm desparate for advice.

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

Panic attacks are not the problem. Avoiding the places, situations, and people we have panic attacks in or with is the problem. I can tell you from experience that there's no way to alter your schedule or your life to avoid panic attacks, or your fear of vomiting, because the problem is within you, not the outside world. So, wherever you go - there it is! It follows you everywhere like a stalker, unless and until you decide (and yes it's a choice) to face your fear, head on, little by little but consistently, so that you take its power away. The more you avoid the more you're reinforcing the fear. The more you reinforce the fear, the more panic attacks you have because fear is food for panic. On the other hand, the more you "feel the fear and do it anyway" you starve the fear until it, like anything else that isn't being fed and nurtured, dies, and then you will recover.

So go to school, during the day, every day. When panic attacks come, and at first they will, let them. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. The worst thing is the panic attack, and I bet you have those at home too sometimes, and live through each and every one. So stay at school until the panic attack subsides - and it will - it always does. That reinforces in your brain that school is not "dangerous".

Hope all that makes sense.

[fedup_emet]

Panic attacks are not the problem. Avoiding the places, situations, and people we have panic attacks in or with is the problem. I can tell you from experience that there's no way to alter your schedule or your life to avoid panic attacks, or your fear of vomiting, because the problem is within you, not the outside world. So, wherever you go - there it is! It follows you everywhere like a stalker, unless and until you decide (and yes it's a choice) to face your fear, head on, little by little but consistently, so that you take its power away. The more you avoid the more you're reinforcing the fear. The more you reinforce the fear, the more panic attacks you have because fear is food for panic. On the other hand, the more you "feel the fear and do it anyway" you starve the fear until it, like anything else that isn't being fed and nurtured, dies, and then you will recover.

So go to school, during the day, every day. When panic attacks come, and at first they will, let them. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. The worst thing is the panic attack, and I bet you have those at home too sometimes, and live through each and every one. So stay at school until the panic attack subsides - and it will - it always does. That reinforces in your brain that school is not "dangerous".

Hope all that makes sense.

well it does make sense, the only issue is that i've tried multiple times to stay in school while the panic attack happens, and it just doesn't stop. it will go on the entire day at 100000x intensity until i get home. i've tried just going to the nurse and talking to my mom on the phone for a while, but it still doesn't stop until i actually get HOME. i'm just thinking until they re-up my medication to where it used to be [40mg of prozac] to just go to night school for the rest of the semester and then start almost fresh new at the beginning of second semester.. this all started when they took me off the medication so i know that once they put it back to normal it will stop being so un managable, but it will be a few months until that even comes close.

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

I understand what you're saying. What magical thing is at home though that makes it stop? It's just that you're telling yourself when you get home you'll be fine, so you are. The whole time you're at school you're telling yourself you're in some kind of impending danger so your body reacts accordingly. By all means get your medication sorted out because there's nothing wrong using meds, if you need them, to take the edge off BUT you also have to work at the cognitive-behaviour stuff to make any real progress, otherwise you're just masking the symptoms with the meds.

I really feel for you because I was where you are -- the places I felt safe in became fewer and fewer, and my world became smaller and smaller, until I was virtually housebound, and then even home became "unsafe" because I'd have those panic attacks there too.

I'm not saying it's easy to do - if it was, none of us would have a problem. But honestly, it's the only way to make any real and lasting progress with this condition. There is no magic pill or magic cure, unfortunately.

Big hug.

[olschesky]

butterflies, you couldn't have said it better........when i finally realized that i always felt ok when i was home was when i realized i really wasnt sick.....just anxiety.......it's not easy.......but you have got to force yourself to get to school.......and stay there.......i've been out of school for years now......but still have issues sometimes with going to work or basically anywhere..........just keep reminding yourself that you are fine......i know this might sound strange but it's my coping mechanism when i get really panicked when i'm out or driving.......i pinch myself......little pinches.....but they're painful and take my mind off the panic......and it slowly leaves me.

find a friend in school that you can feel comfortable with.......that can be your safe haven if you get scared.

you can do this.....you must do this........you're so young and need to learn to enjoy everyday........kick that emet to the curb.....