Incoming newbie..
Hello all!
I'm Sarah and to be quite honest, I have been viewing this message board for months and I have finally plucked up the courage to join and start fighting my phobia with the dreaded V
I suppose I should start from the beginning. My emetphobia started a little over 2 years ago. During a freak heat wave, I contracted a stomach bug and honestly, I have never been so sick in my life. The mercury was pushing 45 degrees Celsius and I was hit with projectile V that saw me V no less than 11 times. I started to throw up blood and fainted. My mum took me to the emergency room where I sat for close to 4 hours barefooted with V all down my top before the nurse brought me a bed to lie on and this nasty tasting rehydration drink which made me dry retch the moment it touched the back of my throat. After several hours had passed by, I was finally taken in and seen by a doctor who took bloods and gave me a mega size bag of Saline through a drip. She said I had a sky high fever and a small tear in my throat which explained the blood. I was in hospital for 2 days and couldn’t even drink water without retching. My ribs and stomach ached for days afterwards. I have not forgotten a moment of this ordeal and it set of my emetophobia with a bang.
Since then I have become a compulsive clean freak. I feel I am forever washing, wiping or sanitizing my hands. My handbag and it contents must be cleaned with disinfectant wipes every time I go out. I obsessively check expiration dates and will not eat meat or chicken with out it being VERY well done. When I browse through items in a shop, I never touch unless I am taking the item. I even hold my breath when walking past children or people who look dirty or sick. And the list goes on....
Honestly, my phobia is mainly that I'M going to V. I can watch films or see pictures with V in them, it doesn't make me feel so flash but I can tolerate it. I'm sure you all can relate to the beastly panic attacks it all can cause. Some days I have no attacks, and then some days are studded with them. I feel a strong urge to V, I go cold as ice all over, I feel like I'm floating and I just want to run as fast as I can, anywhere. I have had several instances where I have woken up in the middle of a panic attack. Those nights are the worst.
I try and cope the best way I can and am trying so hard to move on with my life. I even took a trip to Europe earlier this year and braved picking at disgusting plane food and touching walls of thousand year old cathedrals and managed alright.
But, I get weak. Too often.
Wow.....I'm really sorry that was so long! LOL
I really look forward to supporting and getting to know all of you.
All my love,
Sarah
xxxxx
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