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  1. #1

    Default eight years of fear

    My name is Amelia, and I am nineteen. I don't like to talk about my phobia and only four people in my life know about it. I am hoping that talking about it on here will be helpful to me. This is my story:

    I was in the sixth grade when I first recall feeling afraid of vomit. My brother was the kind of kid that threw up a lot, and it really began to bother me.

    It was in the seventh grade when it took complete control over my life. Every room I went in, I made a mental note of where all of the trashcans were just incase someone needed to throw up into one. I was constantly thinking about when the next person near me might vomit. I would ask people how they were feeling all the time just to ease my mind. My mind was like a broken record player, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

    If and when I did come in contact with someone who was sick, I would (and still do) go into a state of panic. Every muscle in my body tightens up and I can feel myself getting very warm. This is the worst feeling I can think of. It is like every bad emotion combined and it completely takes over until you can't even move. I can recall one incident when my brother got sick and I hid in my room all day and couldn't get myself out of bed. I wouldn't even go to the bathroom because that was where he had vomited.

    As a result of these feelings, my cleaning habits became obsessive. I would clean everything daily (and still feel the urge to): doorknobs, anything with a handle, remotes, etc. I would shower multiple times a day and scrub my skin so hard, I would be bright red when I got out.

    This was definitely hard for me to think about; this went on for a few years. I went to a psychologist twice a week when I was about fourteen and was put onto prozac (which I decided I didn't need and threw out). This helped somewhat. It eased the feelings a lot, but they would come back in waves. A few months ago, it got to the point where I was reverting back to my junior high school ways and they put me back onto Prozac. I have to admit, it helps a lot but it isn't a magic cure all and I still have these feelings.

    I decided I needed to get some help and support because I don't have anyone I know who has felt like this. It is not an easy thing to explain. It is life-consuming and it blocks you from doing a lot of things in life. And I'd like to know that I'm not the only one who goes through this. Thank you for reading my story.

    Amelia

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    north carolina, usa
    Posts
    4,272

    Default Re: eight years of fear

    welcome to the forum amelia. i've found lots of comfort and help here myself. something comforting in having a place to talk where everyone knows exactly how you feel.

    i've had emet since i was 8.....i'm now 58.......ive had really good periods of time where is didn't really bother me.....most of my 20 & 30s were almost emet free. i've always been able to go to school, work etc......but alot of those times were/are really scarey. i just try really hard to push myself through the panic and not leave and go home........i know i would feel better at home which just proves to me that it's all in my mind.......i have distractions that i use when i get too panicky.

    i am also on prozac and have been for years. i've gone off a few times.......but then figured why stop taking something that helps so much with that 24/7 obsession with v.........no shame in taking it....

    again, welcome and hope you find help in here
    how i feel about emet
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts
    4,577

    Default Re: eight years of fear

    Hi Amelia and welcome to the site! You should find a lot of support here as well as information. Be sure to read through the "Information and Research" section of this webiste - it's also all on my site (link below). Take care!
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    118

    Default Re: eight years of fear

    Your story sounds like many others stories here, including my own, so feel free to share your thoughts and feelings. This site is a great place for support and information on treatment and it would be wise to take advantage of it.

    Welcome and I hope we are able to help you out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    125

    Default Re: eight years of fear

    Welcome Amelia! ^_^ I have just joined myself and am finding this board extremely understanding and helpful, I hope you find it this way too.

    Sarah
    xxxxx

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    800

    Default Re: eight years of fear

    Welcome to IES, Amelia!

 

 

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