Is this okay?

[Galadriel]

Hey all,


Ok Im wondering, is this okay or not? Well, I tend to not be the most socialble, and get at times to where I just want to be by myself and chill and not be around people. Well, I still live with my dad, but he and his fiance, hes always at her place a lot, and well they like to get together and have family things some, and well sometimes they have a dinner, and I just dont want to go, and well Im always made to feel like Im wrong or bad or being bad by just saying "no thanks not tonight" I mean I dont always say no, but sometimes I just dont want to, or I have stuff Id rather do otherwise. I mean Im 21, shouldn't my "no" just be "no" and that be okay? I usually end up feeling guilty/bad and going anyways, but I mean its not like its life or death or major if I missed. Is it ok for me to miss like this, or should I always give in to dad and when he makes me feel bad for trying to get out of going and saying like "well you should go, you need to do things"? I mean am I in the wrong?

[Jenneh]

nope not at all.


my mother said to me a while back that if i want to stay inside on my own - no one should make me feel guilty for that befcause its just the person i am. the problem is, im not like you, and being alone too much is what causes my depression. but the thing is, as long as YOUR content with YOUR life thats all that matters hun. ur dad should just accept you for who you are... its not like ur completley anti-social and are being disrespectful.... imean you do go ot with them sumtimes, as u say!


i honestly think its perfectly acceptable for you to say thethings you say. its ur dad with the problem, not you.


Jen xxxxxxxxx

[Galadriel]

Hey Jen,


Thank you very much for saying that. Yeah I agree with your mom lol. Your right, I do it sometimes because well i just would rather, I do plenty with my bf and get out and do things with my dad and his fiance sometimes. I just wish they didnt give me the guilt trip everytime I decided that I would rather not.


Like this evening, I decided to stay home for new years, because my bf is sick (I think flu, respiratory flu tho) and well Im getting the same symptoms he had at the beginning (and one was nausea nad felt like v*, great) and so I thinkIm starting to get it, and I didnt wanna be over there at his fiance's housefeeling sick. My dad tho is like "I seeso your planning on being sick" and he's getting all annoyed, and I bet he thinks im faking. Im kinda freaking tho, I dont wanna get v* sick. My bf didnt tell me the whole truth till today, that he felt nasueas and was almost sick a few times. I know he just wanted to spare me from panicking, but eh now Im freaking some, especially since Im feeling worse. He says the worst is to come. Ohgreat, so you see whyI didnt wantto go to someone else's house, but my dad just doesnt understand that. Besides it would just be to watch the ball drop, and quite frankly I just feel like curling up and resting and not watching any balldrop (the ball in New York Citie's Times Square via tv).I just wish I could without the nagging guilt that Im doing something wrong. Its ridiculous I know. Edited by: Galadriel

[abbey_normal]

Feel better...and no staying home and "chilling" by yourself every once in awhile is not strange. I do it all the time. I usually stay home on Friday nights and go out on Saturdays, I think of it as unwinding from the week.


As for the respiratory flu, it sucks...I had it last year (3 weeks after I got the damn shot, can I tell you how mad that made me [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]) Anyways, felt sick to my stomach for about the first day or so, then I was just tired and miserable. Most people don't get that kind of sick from the real flu, so don't worry yourself. Just stick to the chicken soup (really it helps) and lots of fluids and you'll be fine.


oh...and PS...your avitar ROCKS. that is so funny.Edited by: abbey_normal

[Galadriel]

Hey Abbey!


Lol glad you get a kick out of my avatar. Man that sucks that you had it so soon after getting the shot! Ugh! Well, Im doing relatively good, either I wont get it much, or its yet to come, Im not sure which. I have been taking major vitamin C tho, so that could be helping Im not sure. I'll have to see how Im doing in the morning. Thank you for your kind words.

[tink]

Galadriel,

I think that people that do not have our phobia tend to feel n* with a normal flu or cold. From having (sorry if this nasty) post nasal drip or taking meds on an empty stomach. Also sometimes from having a temp. Don't let it worry you too much. You will be just fine, I'm sure of it. Also, when he said the worst is yet to come.. Remember most of the world would rather v* than have a cold or respritory illness.

P.S. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about taking time for yourself.. You deserve to take time out, for any reason you want.

Hang in there, and feel better!

--Tink

[holly18]

and also dont forget, a male flu is worse than a female flu! sorry to offend anyone, but men always seem to get it worse than us girlies. My boyfreind only has to have a cold and he acts as if hes dying lol

[Galadriel]

Hey there,


-Tink thank you for your kind words, I woke up this morning and actually felt better than I did yesterday! I took tons of vitamin C, so that must have really helped.


-Holly, wow I didnt know that men tend to get it worse! Thats something, I guess girls are stronger in that regard! Men are wusses lol!

[abbey_normal]

Holly is right, my brother is a big guy (used to be a pro-body builder) he gets so much as the sniffles and acts as though he's dying from malaria. Men are pansies. Seriously.

[Galadriel]

Lol yeah, sometimes I think if they had to deal with what we do, they'd just wither away to nothing in a few days.

[2jo2]

I just wanted to add my two cents that you shouldn't feel like you always need to give in to your dad and go and do things with him and his fiance. You're an adult and can decide what you want to do with your time, plus, it's his new family and shouldn't push you into being all family with them if it's not what you want to do. My parents divorced when I was really young so I dind't have a choice to decide if or not I wanted to do things... but that's another story. I used to feel bad that I didn't want to do alot of stuff with people and instead liked to spend my free time with myself at my house, reading, watching tv, being with my dogs. My old therapist always used to ask me if I was up to joining a book club or anything like that and it's like, you know that's just not my thing. So I don't think there's anything wrong with you deciding you just don't want to do anything on any certain day. Nothing wrong with that at all.

[Galadriel]

Hey Jo,


You sound a lot like me! I am perfectly happy just spending my free time with a good book and my doggies just chilling at home. I do like to do things with my bf tho, but with him, I know if say after awhile I wanted to go home or something he would not object, adn that helps me feel okay around him, instead of everytime givinga hard time if i want to be by myself some. My therapist used to also pressure me to "get out there and do things" and yeah some is good, but I think that if your happy then its fine.

[roxi27]

I stay home 90% of the time when I am invited out. Like you I
enjoy it, and thats what matters most. If you felt sad about it,
that would be a whole nother can of worms. But you are content as
am I. I have my late night tv and my kitty-cat. So do not
feel guilty about it. Carrie

[che3bomb]

Hi Mateys,


I have woken with a fresh head and I am saying stuff in full force today!!! hahaha


If you are staying in cos you truly want to then as Britney says thats you perrogative.


If you are staying in because of emet then - you need to get a handle on it babe...





Che33a Xx

[Galadriel]

Yeah I rarely let emet make me stay back, usually I go out even when Im feelin off (due to emet) so its just because I prefer it. I enjoy just not going out a ton.

[crazy_diamond]

erm, im new to this and ive read ur comments. i stay insometimes partly coz i enjoy it but also coz im scared. most things im invited to involve drink & thats something that gets me paranoid. but i feel under pressure to do these things, coz thats wot all my mates do and enjoy. i dunno wot to do about it [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]