This Board Doesn't Help Anybody

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

That's what my doctor and therapist said.

I gave them both the link to this place so they could refer other patients here. They both told me pretty much the same thing: From what they see, in their professional opinion, this board doesn't help anybody. In fact, they believe it hurts more than helps. The focus here is too much on the emetophobia and the little details of what makes and keeps a person emetophobic instead of what helps someone overcome it. For this reason they both suggest I stay away from here especially now that I'm "cured". My therapist said that now that I'm recoverd, marinating my brain on all the horrors of emetophobia I read on this board every day could very easily "trigger" me and make me have a setback.

So, I'm going to take their advice and leave because I want to stay recovered.

Goodbye and good luck to everyone. It is my sincerest wish that each of you find a way out of your emetophobic prison. You can. If I did it, you can certainly do it too. There's nothing special or better about me. It took a year, but the thing that turned on the recovery switch a year ago, so to speak, was finally "getting" that all the behaviours I was engaging in on a daily basis that I believed with every fibre of my being were keeping me "safe" (safe = not vomit) were, in fact, keeping me emetophobic and making my fear, and my life, and my overall health, worse. Once you "get" that, you too will be well on your way to recovery.

You don't have to starve yourself.
You don't have to avoid certain foods.
You don't have to wash your hands a million times a day.
You don't have to take anti-emets like they're candy.
You don't have to be afraid of your own body.
You don't have to avoid people.
You don't have to avoid life.

You don't have to do any of that. You can have peace and enjoy your life. And you deserve it. God didn't make you to be a slave to anyone or anything, and as long as you're holding on to the thoughts and behaviours that keep you emetophobic, you're worshipping fear - you've made fear (emetophobia) your God - even if you don't believe in the biblical God.

[CielSoraXQR]

Funnily enough I totally agree. I've only been on this board for a few days, but I understand what they're saying about the horrors playing on the mind. It could be some of the recent things I've unfortunately seen, or it could be this board. But I do like it here; it's the first time I've had contact with other emets.

Anyway, congratulations on becoming one of the 'cured.' Hopefully one day I'll join you.

[turbokinetic]

Yes, this or any forum is an open place for discussion and it does have it's problems. There is user-generated content so a certain level of inappropriate or unhelpful posts is to be expected. It's that way here and on the car repair forums I frequent, too.

Some people like to talk about recovery and give encouragement to people who just realized they have a fixable problem.

Then there are those who wallow in self-pity instead of looking for encouragement to better themselves. I see it and we all know what I am talking about. I beleive more of us are looking forward than wallowing in pity. Saying this forum "doesn't help anybody" is a generalization. It sounds like someone who probably did not read more then the "Recent posts" and at that probably only read the post titles.

This is my opinion (and I've been online here and elsewhere for YEARS) so I hope no one gets their feelings hurt.

Sincerely,
David

[asianeko]

I agree with you David!!

Butterflies: I'm glad you're doing better! Whatever you have to do to stay strong, go for it! Stay well!

[olschesky]

congrats butters........but i'm with david on this. i'm sure being in different stages of emet recovery has alot to do with how we view things. bad posts don't effect me.....i just enjoy trying to comfort people when they are scared......help them move on....

good luck.....and i'll be watching your blog

[IceMaiden]

Ah well done and good luck! But if it wasn't for this board I would never have had the opportunity to talk to other emets and feel that I'm not a freak.

[leeannc28]

This board helps just fine. Depends on how you use it is all. Im sure theres some people it hurts, but it helps others like me and Im glad it exists. If nothing else, its always nice to know you dont have to go through this sort of thing alone.

Good luck with your recovery.

[elizam]

I agree with David as well. I respect the professional opinions of the doctors you saw, but if I hadn't found this board I never would have gotten better. I don't think it's wise to make sweeping judgements about anything always being bad for people or always being good for people. This place is a tool, whether it helps you or hurts you depends on how you use it.

I wish you well!

[Avath]

David is spot on. Most people here want to get better. Some people are just here to vent, yet take no steps to become better. But I suppose all of us will strive to get better when we feel we are ready to do it, or fed up enough with living like this that we see no other choice.

I love this place because it keeps me inspired to push on, and sometimes (when I need it) I get true empathy and sympathy from people who really understand (like my dinner party freak out). That to me is worth much more than I can put words to. My therapist said it's good I've found people 'like me'. He said he's seen a great improvement in my general mood.

[beccabubba]

I agree with everyone else sorry. Perhaps when we are recovered we may not need this forum either but I do know that it helps me a great deal. I only joined a few days ago and already Im visiting quite a lot.
Your doctors may say it isnt helping and that we are wallowing in self pity and a dark pit but I think a lot of people have probably decided to get help after reading others posts in which they have detailed their therapy etc and what it involves.
When we are feeling so low and depressed with a phobia or even an illness we take great comfort in finding out we arent alone and that there are many others who suffer and can empathise with us.
From what I have seen on here this place is a good place with decent members who really go out of their way to comfort others in distress and that can only be a good thing.
When I was pregnant I was a regular member of DIP (depression in pregnancy) and I found a very close friend on there. Of course when I became a mum I no longer needed it anymore but did still offer those in distress comfort for a while after.
So its perfectly natural to move on after you are finished with a tool that possibly helped you in recovery.
Wish you all the best

[sage]

I'm surprised that two people as educated and professional as a doctor and a therapist would make such a broad sweeping statement as "this board doesn't help anybody." I mean, one of the first things you learn in doing a graduate degree is that you can't make broad sweeping statements or any statements for that matter that you can't back up with evidence. What evidence do they have that these boards don't help anybody? Have they interviewed each and every one of the 17,000 members?

As many others have said these boards serve a variety of functions. The first, and most important, is the amount of traffic this site gets. Which means that anyone who searches for "fear of vomiting" hits here. When they get here they see the sheer numbers of people. This makes people feel instantly "not crazy" and wonderfully supported. Next, they can read the "Information and Research" section which as I think you know has well-researched info that will help family members, doctors and therapists to understand the disorder. This has been invaluable to thousands of people.

People who want to get better will use the knowledge they find here to get help, and they'll work away at it either with or without the support of other phobics. Finally, when people do get better and/or find a way to live comfortably with their emetophobia they may choose to either stay or come back here to help other phobics. I am one of those people, and so is hippychick, gumdropper and turbokinetic to name a few.

Don't misunderstand, I also advise people to stay away from this site until such time as they've gone through treatment and want to come back and help others. It can definitely increase one's anxiety by reading stories about other people panicking or put stuff in your head you never thought of before. But I would never go so far as to say this board doesn't help anybody. That's just not true and it undermines the work of the owner, the moderators, and everyone else who gives freely of their time to be here for the sake of helping others.

So, I understand your decision to leave and I wish you well.

[Elski]

Bye Butterflies! So glad you're feeling confident in your recovery, hopefully I'll be feeling like that in the months to come too.

Good luck and have a wonderful phobia-free life xx

[TiredofFear]

This board has not really affected me. My fear is very severe right now; however, the board has nothing to do with it. In fact, I would say that it helps to know I'm not alone. If I was alone in this, I'd think I was crazy and wouldn't be able to go on.

[elizabeth3733]

Congratulations on recovery! Best wishes and do what ya gotta do girl, to make and keep yourself better! you will be missed.

But I have to say, we are all different, and have different needs. I think the therapist and doctor who told you this need to realize that while it may not be helping some, others (like myself) benefit from this board more than they can realize. Seriously, I rarely post, but I come here daily, just to remind myself that I am not the only one in this world, and that other emets deal with stuff I fear all the time.

To each their own, but I personally find this board very helpful.