I feel like a burden :(

[1scareddj]

This year is the worst my emet has been in a LONG time.

I started dating Chris back in April, so it's a fairly new relationship. I am VERY open with him about my emetophobia. I have told him absolutely everything about it. He has been VERY supportive of me and is TRYING to understand.

I remember one night I was pretty anxious and he said "Don't worry, hun. If you get sick, I will take care of you." And I was immediately defensive and snapped "No, you DON'T get it! I don't WANT to be sick! I'm not afraid of not being taken care of, I'm afraid of being sick!!!!"

I felt bad, because he was just quiet after that. I apologized and he said it was ok because he knew I was stressed and he was fine.

Lately, it's getting so bad that I will only leave my house to go to work...and that is even a struggle. So I haven't been going to his house, and he can't stay at mine because he's got dogs at his place that he needs to be there for overnight and such...which I totally understand being that I have dogs too, and WILL NOT leave them overnight.

Tonight while I was at work, he and I were texting back and forth and he seemed really short with me. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he was irritated that we haven't been spending much time together. I got really sad. I feel like a total burden and I don't feel that it's fair to him to have to "put up" with me. It's not like I'm married to the guy, but I just feel like I'm dragging him down with me....part of me wants to take a break until I get better (I've started treatment) but part of me doesn't want to lose him, either.

I don't know what to do. Is it selfish of me to want to take this emetophobia, head on by myself? I don't want to wrap anyone else up in my problem. I don't feel it's fair. I don't know.

Thoughts?

[olschesky]

i think you just really need to push yourself right ....sounds like you're in a bad patch of emet right now.....don't let it take over.......if you care enough about your relationship with him you will have to really make the effort to get out of your comfort zone a little more......i would think that spending time with him would be a great distraction from the emet.........take turns going to each other's homes.......might make it easier.

don't let this stupid phobia win........go have fun.....

[beccabubba]

Hey I feel the same. Three partners have had to "deal" with my issues and each time I have split up they seem to branch out and do things that perhaps we couldnt. Its made me feel very crap about my problem and how it affects everyone. My current partner really wants to go abroad and he is a real "doing" person. Whereas Im happy being at home reading a book etc. I feel I am holding him back from what he wants to do and its affecting my kids too. I know Im a burden, but I dont think I can do this alone as if the kids got sick I would have to deal with it. I think if we were to ever split up, it would be because of this stupid phobia.

[PsyNerd22]

I can relate to how you feel. I started dating my bf since april too and that is these past 8 months have been the worst for me =( I have acid reflux and ibs and its just been an awful year for me.

Ive thought about breaking up with him because i feel he deserves someone who can actually go out and have fun. He always gets stuck at home watching movies with me. He says that it wouldnt be fair for me to make the decision for him. Might be the same for your b.f... if they stick around that just shows what i great guy he is. As long as he is willing to support you and be by your side during your treatment, dont let him go. You should make more of an effort to see him though, dont let this phobia ruin your life completely.

Goodluck!! take care