Anyone else keeping their phobia a secret?

[Jan3_Do3]

Although I am not new to emetophobia, I am new to this community. So hello everyone!

I have been emetophobic for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, my mom knew that I was terrified of being s*, but it passed for a year or so and as far as she knows, it was just a phase. I am 24 years old, and other than here, no one knows about my phobia. I will explain my reasoning behind this...

Naturally, I feel like I would be isolating myself. I would feel like even more of an outcast. I'm also afraid of people that would be supportive. When I'm having a panic attack, I don't want someone over my shoulder telling me that everything is going to be ok. I already know that it will. I just want to be alone. When I'm n*, I don't want someone telling me that I am not going to v*. These are things that I'm already telling myself and I feel like I would be more anxious and embarassed with someone else around even if they were trying to support me.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is anyone else keeping their emetophobia a secret?

[KaydeeJayde]

I'm not afraid of myself being sick, but if there's someone else around who is ill, then I can't be by myself. I tend to try and hurt myself to try and distract myself without realising. But I like the comfort of having someone else there.

As for keeping it a secret, if people ask me if I have any phobias, I'll tell them, but I don't go up to people and say, "Hey, I'm Erin, and I'm emetophobic!" So it's kind of a don't ask, don't tell situation.

[olschesky]

i feel exactly the same way.....i totally like being alone when i start to panic.....i feel that is i share it i will lose control....weird i know....but works for me.

i recently told my husband about it and explained that i didn't want him to ask me about it........when i'm feeling scared i just tell him i need to be alone and usually go in the bedroom and watch tv till i feel better......he knows if i want to talk about it i will.......he's a great guy

have only told 2 friends.....just don't feel the need for everyone to know.....feel like they will be "watching" my reaction to everything which would make me more anxious.

to each his/her own i suppose......

[asianeko]

I personally don't keep it a secret, I make sure to tell people I'll be around, like at work. People tend to look out for me, and if somebody is ill they won't come in because they know it will bother me. I have had a few instances where somebody didn't think they could clean up a mess (I'm a groomer, so dog messes are common) without getting sick, so instead of toughing through it and throwing up, they asked somebody else to do it.

[alisonj42]

I make sure that my kids dont know. My husband knows alittle bit how freaked out I am when the kids are sick but he has no idea to what extent.

[Grumbello]

Most people I know, know about my phobia because they've all either been sick or pretended to be sick around me and I freaked. I can't exactly say 'Oh...that freak out? Yeah...it wasn't anything, you totally imagined it' :P So almost everyone does know. But it's not too bad. Sometimes they tease me but that's what this forum is for, escaping to people who understand me

[Rebecca85]

I am pretty good at keepimg my phobia hidden. I make excuses all the time, like if a kid v's at school 'I'll go get the caretaker' and that gives me chance to calm down. If people do see me mildly freaking out, my boyfriend tells them I'm one of these people who v's when they see other people do it! The only people who know the full extent of my phobia are my boyfriend and his sister (he told her because one day she had a migraine and needed someone to come and help with the baby, and we said we would if she was 100% sure she was done v'ing!). Even my parents know I have a 'thing' about v, but not the extent.

I guess I'm worried that my phobia will be seen as a weakness and could be manipulated, like some people say their 'friends' pretend to be ill to freak them out. Or like at work, the kids will pretend to be ill to go home.

[AnnieMak]

I'm also new to this forum. I've never had a clinical psychological diagnosis for being emetophobic, but I've known my whole life that I have been (without knowing the clinical term). My brother and sister knew it too. When we were kids, they used to terrorize me because my reaction was funny. I would run, plugging my ears saying "blah blah blah" so I wouldn't see or hear anything. I do laugh at the memory, because when I think about it, it would be funny in a movie. But the reality of emetophobia is anything but funny. And it isn't widely known about or addressed, either (the spell checker in here doesn't even recognize it!)
I haven't v'td in more than 22 years. Which is amazing to me...I'm 34 now, and I sucked my finger until I was 25...totally unsanitary! The fact that I sucked my finger sheds light on the hidden insecurities of my nature which I have been fighting very hard to overcome. I've come a long way. Most of my friends have no idea that I have this phobia.
I've taken steps in my social circles to overcome my fear and participate in things that would have been a big no-no to me 10 years ago. Even playing with small children and babies...I never dreamed I would get to this point! yay!
I have decided not to have children, and there are many reasons for that. But I would be lying to say that emetophobia did not play a part in that decision. There are many other issues in my life as well, including a genetic history of mental illness / bipolar disorder.
I truly believe that my phobia is only one facet to a greater set of underlying issues, and these are so difficult for me to accept or even talk about to others. I do isolate those aspects of my life and keep them secret from most people I know, but I do have a very good set of trusted friends that I can confide in, and that do help me.

[Jen06]

Welcome!
I am very private about having anxiety attacks in front of others, including my own parents and husband. I HAVE to be alone. I guess it freaks me out because I know that when I see others get sick, I think that it's disgusting. Even though I don't think the actual PERSON getting sick is gross, I think their vomit is. I am afraid that others will think that I am gross. Totally not what I want. I like to freak out by myself. I don't need other people seeing me lose control over my own mind and/or body...and seeing all of my little "kinks" and the weird things I do when I'm anxious. I think to throw up in front of anyone would be the MOST embarrassing thing that could ever happen to me. Even my parents (although they've cleaned up after me and held my hair back countless times when I was younger). Or my husband (my best friend in the entire world...can't see me at my weakest point).
I didn't discover that I was emet (b/c I simply didn't know there was a name for it or what it meant) until about 3 months ago. All I knew before that point was that I was abnormally afraid of throwing up in front of others, or period. And I get very weak-stomached if someone else around me gets sick. Now that I know there is a name for it and lots (and lots and lots!) of info on it, I educate those close to me. Basically, I've just talked to my husband, 3 best friends, and parents about it. Otherwise, I feel like no one else needs to know. Unless the subject comes up, I'm pretty sure I'd never tell anyone else. Maybe doctors if I ever get pregnant, but that would be it. You are SO not alone with this!

[hairyfairy]

I`m very fortunate that I hardly ever encounter someone whos`e sick, but I do get anxious when I hear someone close by say that they have been vting, as I`m terrified of catching whatever they have. My idea of a nightmare would be to get sick in front of someone, it would be so humilliating. I don`t tell people that I`m scared of v, because I know they`d probably think I was weird & take the mickey out of me.

[kateri27]

I don't hide it but when I do tell people about it I kind of make a joke about it. No one knows how bad this phobia really is for me and how much it effects my life.