Destroying my life!

[emilycoulton]

Hello, I am new to this site and have joined because I needed to know other people were the same as me, its comforting as no one seems to understand!

My phobia has been present my whole life, I've had two eating disorders when I was five and also when I was seven because I thought if I didn't eat there was no way I could v. I was dangerously underweight on both occasions but overcame them both, thankfully.

I'm 17 now and still find eating a struggle though, I won't eat chicken from fast food restaurants, won't eat out, won't eat at anyone else's house other than my own, have to inspect every packet for sell by dates and would even resort to going through the bin to find a packet if I forgot to check it! I only weigh six and a half stone and no one understands my phobia so I get accused of being anorexic all the time too.

I am constantly on the internet researching about the norovirus and food poisening, I won't take any tablets that have a side effect of v. I suffer from panic attacks weekly and can't work because I'm such a nervous wreck!

My Dad recently fell ill with food poisoning or norovirus but i didn't know which so I stayed at my Nan's for three days to avoid whatever it was, I've been home for three nights and me and my Mum are fine so I think I'll be ok. I'm pretty sure it was food poisoning because he had chicken from a takeaway on Christmas Eve and he said he thought it wasn't cooked as he was eating it and left most of it and none of us ate it then he fell ill Christmas night so it seems most likely it was food poisoning because he hadn't really been anywhere to catch the bug! So hopefully it was food poisoning. I still made my Mum clean the whole house with disinfectant and have been washing my hands religiously every day.

I have a cold at the moment and was wondering if you can actually catch two things at once, could I get the norovirus while having a cold, I've never heard of it before, but just wondering if its possible? I thought I might be safe if I had a cold!

Also, while I was at my Nan's, I phoned the NHS and asked to speak to a doctor to see when my Dad would stop being contagious if it was norovirus because all over the internet it said three days after symptoms stopped but I was desperate to get home I was having panic attacks and crying constantly (still am now!) and I wanted to be with my family at Christmas so wanted to get home as soon as possible, the doctor told me as soon as he stops being sick, he isn't contagious anymore but on the internet it said differently, just wondering if anyone knows whether the doctor was right or whether it is three days after you start feeling better?

Sorry this is so long, I just feel like I have so much to say! Also, I am currently waiting for treatment for my phobia, it's destroying my life completely and I'm really hoping I can get rid of it. I have a phone assessment on Tuesday, so hopefully It'll all go well and they can help me!

Sometimes I just wish I could wake up and go about my day without thinking about it every few minutes and analysing the risks of being sick in every single situation. I can't be near anyone that even says they have a stomach ache, go to pubs/clubs/concerts/cinema, I don't think I'm going to be able to have children because of morning sickness, I can't have my blood taken because I pass out and I'm scared I'll be nauseous when I come round, I won't have injections because the side effects can be being sick, so I haven't had my booster jabs or the cervical cancer jab and my time is running out to get that because you have to be under 19 I think! There's so many other things I can't do but I can't think right now!

[claire43]

Welcome to the site.

First of all whats a phone assessment? Also please try your best to go for the cervical cancer jab, my daughter had them a couple of years ago and got no side effects whatsoever. I hope you can get all the help you are asking for and we are all here in the meantime.

[emmalinda]

i am exactely that!! i cant do anything. i doubt you will get 2 sickness on top of eachother. just use a hanky or tissue when blowing and rubbing your nose. i got no side effects from the cerivical cancer or any other jabs. but i truly underestnad what you're going through. this is horrible and i feel useless. everything i do seems to lead me into thinking im gonna v*. but there are plenty of people on here who can help and support you. i hadd one of them phone things when i was about 13, but my mum did it. they should put you onto a phsycologist and help you.

[emilycoulton]

I'm not so sure what a phone assessment is but I think its so they can see what sort of strain my phobia is before I actually go to the place where they're meant to treat me. I think its using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) but i'm not actually sure what that is, so if anyone does, please let me know!
I really need to get the jabs done, but so many people at my school were sick from the cervical cancer one I couldn't bring myself to face the risk!

[emmalinda]

dont stress about the jabs darl. a phone assessment as far as i know is to see how bad your anxiety is and if you are approved to see a phsyc. CBT therapy is when they help you understand, manage and change your thoughts. its hard to know how they will do it in the session cause each therapist is different and has their own approach to it. but i hear it has a very high success rate. good luck with it!!

[Potatoescangiggle]

I am 12 years old and have had emetophobia since kindergarten.
I feel the same way. I feel like I can’t go anywhere and I'm always thinking everything threw and analyzing the possibility. It’s terrible. There are a lot of things this phobia has taken away and I wish my therapy would have worked. I hope yours is better. My therapist didn’t get why I was there she thought I needed to talk about my parents divorce when the real reason I came was to get help. I quit going to therapy but I still hope I will overcome this.
Stick with your therapy because it really does help after awhile and if this therapist doesn’t help- find another.

[Leigha]

i can really relate to you. i was nodding in agreement at most things you said. i have a vey bad case of emet. however i did have the cervical cancer jabs and apart from a sore arm i was fine, xx

[Siskysophie]

You sound exactly like me! I'm 17 too, I know how you feel and what you're going through.
It's so stressful and I get the panic attacks too, so now not only do I go out worrying about vomit I worry that i'm going to get another panic attack when i'm out, which in turn makes me feel sick and I begin to worry again! It's a vicious cycle
You should go and get the cervical cancer jab, I had all mine and was fine and I never heard anyone getting ill from it, otherwsie I would have stayed away.
Also, Im very wary about taking tablets that have the side effect of vomiting, but if you know it'll benefit you then its worth it. I refused to change my pill because it said those were the side effects, I wouldnt take it until I got a straight answer about it.
I'd be intrested in hearing how the CBT goes, because i've been looking into trying that too, ive had it recommended and am pretty desperate to try anything that will take it away.
I hope it works for you and wish you luck on overcoming this horrible phobia

[easty-b]

You're not on your own, not even with the rummaging through bins thing if you forget to check a sell by date, I do that (wash your hands after though haha). I get a lot of stick from friends and family for constantly asking about sell by dates, I won't even eat anything one day over.

With the side effects thing, I worry about that too but I still take the stuff cos actually, cancer would be a lot lot worse! And they put v* as a side effect on every medicine I have ever taken (and never v'd after taking by the way). I work for the NHS in the UK and know people in communications who write that stuff on patient info leaflets. They have to put it on there cos they could get sued, even though probably less than 10% of people are actually sick from taking medication. I completely understand why you wouldn't wanna take it, but the only way to overcome that is to find out there is nothing to worry about, and harsh as it sounds, the only way to do that is to take it/ have the jab.