I think deep down, the reason I want to be alone is because if I see someone get sick, I think they're disgusting, and horrible, and stupid, and they need to control themselves and not be so inconsiderate and I will hate them forever after that usually. I don't want people thinking like that about me. Even though, in reality, normal people don't think so badly of people who get sick, they just feel sorry for them and think it's kinda gross, and feel glad it wasn't them and know that they couldn't help it.