Newbie here - terrified of my son v*ting...

[mdgirl1977]

Hi there. I am so happy to find this site. I really feel like I am nutball for being so scared of this. I have always been squeamish about v*ting but it really ramped up when I was pg 4 years ago. I am ESPECIALLY terrified of my son (almost 4) getting sick and me getting it too. In fact, my son got sick 4 times today at his dads house and I have been freaking out . I have the flu myself (cold type symptoms) but I am actually refusing to have my son come to my house tomorrow out of fear.

I feel like my fear of v*t is going to start to affect my abiliy to be a good mom. I mean, moms clean up their kids when they are sick, they run TO their kids, not FROM them. I feel so guilty and it is even worse that none of my friends have this and my family doesn't get it. I am so ashamed and feel like a horrible person.

I am a really excellent mother in every way. I work with kids (teens) and do really well in most other areas. But this phobia is ruining my life and my self esteen.

Sorry for just throwing this all out there. I am new and I have kept this shame inside for 33 years and I am happy to have found this site. I can hardly contain myself. I am really looking forward to getting my phobia under control through helping others as well and hope I am welcome here!

[McMorbid]

You are most certainly welcome here! I haven't been here for even a week myself, but I will welcome you anyway; and my dear, you have no reason to apologize. It's the best thing in the world to let everything out like that.
You will find the common trait of people feeling bad about not being able to help friends/family members/children here, so you must know that you are not alone in that field. I don't know about children (much too young), but I still know with family members and friends.
Through this site, I hope you find much comfort, and techniques taught to other members here that can be passed onto you, and hopefully help you through this, even in a small bit!

[grrlga30]

I love my kids more then anything..but i can tell you this...and only you guys ...but im so afraid of my daughter catching it, and getting sick in my room in the middle of the night like she did last year..i lock my door at night, my husband has to do most stuff with her whike she is ill..i try to do alittle...and my son , well he is only a few month old, so he doesnt scare me yet...i hate this phobia...it controls to much of my life!! ugh

[mdgirl1977]

Thank you so much for the kind response. I really do hope I learn how to handle this to some degree. I just can't hide it anymore

[Elski]

Welcome to the site!

What you're describing is pretty much every emet-mums worst nightmare so you're definitely not alone. I have a 13 month old and am dreading the day she comes down with something like that. At the end of the day, you've just got to deal with it as best you can until you find a way to overcome your phobia and if that means your son staying at his dads place this time, then so be it. You can be there with lots of cuddles when he gets back....

[naenae1213]

Oh honey...I'm right there w/ you. Over Christmas break, both of my kiddos had the sv. Then I got it. Fortunately, my mother-in-law was there and she took care of them. I couldn't. And I hate it. I hate that my kids need me and I just couldn't be there. I felt just awful. My MIL knows about my phobia, so she helped, but I still don't think she REALLY get it. It's an awful feeling to want to help your kids, but can't.

[Ktina78]

I am terrified of my kids getting it as well. More terrifed than I am for myself getting it. I never had it so I wonder what I did in my youth to prevent it and I often wonder if I could prevent my kids from getting it.

It doesn't seem like the odds are in my favor...

[Mt1904]

I was wondering if any of you emet moms suffered from morning sickness?
im 19 and would like to have kids in future but .... it doesn't seem likely i could handle it.

by the way, im new on here.
Nice too meet you all
x

[mdgirl1977]

Ironically, I was nauseous the entire pregnancy, but never puked! 10 months of non-stop nausea is horrible though. I used these great things called Sea Bands, which you put on your wrist to stave off motion sickness and they helped a ton.

[Mt1904]

oohh im a fan of those, i wear them all the time.

your lucky you neveer actually did be sick.

and during birth i hear that its not uncommon for people to be sick then too.

[naenae1213]

I was just a bit queezy early on, but nothing bad at all. Otherwise, I LOVED being pregnant!!!
During labor, I did start to feel nauseous when the contrax got bad, but then I asked for the eipdural and I was all good after that....even napped....LOL. I ended up with a c/s and never once got sick. They have wonderful anti-emetics in case

[Mt1904]

sounds like you both avoided it wonderfullly.
knowing my luck if i was evr in that situation ill have it all

[Julia31]

Man do I know how you feel. I remember once my son had the flu and he wanted to sleep in my bed. I actually moved him to the couch for fear he would throw up in my bed!! My husband called me mean and made a face but I can't help it. It terrifies me. This week my husband has been sick and I find myself waking up in the middle of the night and sleeping on the couch becasue I don't want to get it. I feel awful as well but I make up for it or try to in other areas.

[Julia31]

And as for the pregnancy issue I had four kids without being sick once!! It was a huge relief actually.

[stella9]

Hi neighbor!!!!

I live in Baltimore, so I am right around the corner from you.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a bad mom. I think most of us are amazing mothers. Emets compensate every where else to make up for how inadequate we feel we are when it comes to v***. Please know that you are an incredible mother. The fact that you even question it, means you are a good mom.

Stella

[mdgirl1977]

Got my son from daycare 5 hrs ago. He refused to eat at daycare and said he was scared he'd throw up. Poor kid. They forced him to eat saltines and water for lunch. He looked white as a ghost. I got him hme and he ate a clif bar, 4 mini muffins and a juice box. He just had two popsicles too. I am afraid he is going to be emet too...he is not even 4 years old.

[mdgirl1977]

And my stomach is in knots and I can't eat anything. I am so scared he is going to v*...

[MollyHazel]

Wow, it's so comforting to see that there are moms out there just like me!!

I wanted kids so badly and I knew I was an emet, but I had it under control. I could leave any v* situation, so I never felt the intense anxiety until I had kids.

I have a 6 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl whom I love dearly and with all my heart! But when cold and flu season hits my anxiety ramps up and when I start hearing that people in my area start coming down with the sv, I at times feel like I need to escape....It just makes you feel terrible as a mother. I haven't had to deal with an episode of the sv by myself and it is my worst fear!!!! I pray that it never happens to me. It's a very helpless feeling and it makes me feel like I have to rely on my husband or mother to help me if/when it happens.

I am thankful for the support I get from them and am working tirelessly at trying to improve my phobia so that one day I can care for my children and not dread this time of year...

[MollyHazel]

Wow, right after submitting my last post my phone rang and it was my son's school calling...my stomach went into my throat thinking they were calling to tell me that i had to go to school to pick him up because he was v*...eeek! But he's not sick ,she was calling to tell me that he has a nose bleed and he needs to get on the bus to come home, she wanted to make sure I was ok with him being on the bus with a nose bleed, *sigh of relief*

[zipity]

Yay for East coasters!! I'm in PA less than two hours from Bethesda and Baltimore!

Anyway, I have the same fear. My son is 19 months. He was a spitter as a baby, but because I knew I couldn't catch it, I was totally ok. Plus it didn't smell like actual v* yet. He has v* a few times since eating regular food and surprisingly I ran right to him. I think in the back of my mind I kinda knew he wasn't actually s* but just drank his milk too fast and burped.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do when he ACTUALLY v*. I think my motherly instinct will kick in and I'll be too concerned for him and just deal with it. I hope that's what happens.

And when I was pregnant, I was never s*. I had about a week where I had no appetite, but I wouldn't call it n*. I did get slightly n* in labor during the transition phase but I had an epidural and I think because I couldn't feel the pain, it helped me from getting n*. I ended up with a c section and the anesthesiologist probably thought I was nuts because I kept asking if all the things he was doing was going to make me v*. He said "it happens a lot, yes" So I don't even remember them showing me my son after he was born because I was concentrating so hard on not v*. I even overheard the anesthesiologist telling a nurse he was surprised I didn't v*. I had a pretty tough labor (31 hours and I finally gave up) so honestly I would have been totally fine at that point if I had v*. It was the LEAST of my worries!

[kb212]

After I typed all this out, I realized I kind of hi-jacked your thread! I'm sorry!

You are definitely not alone. I was actually just coming on here to ask for some advice regarding this. I have a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old. I am terrified of my oldest catching something and giving it to all of us. I used to take him out to stores (used a cart cover of course) but I felt fairly confident my measures to keep him from catching anything were good. Now I keep seeing fb friends saying their family has the bug. Honestly, its been going on for months, and I'm tired of it. I feel trapped in our home. I don't take my kids to stores anymore. I can't wait for the summer.

We moved recently and have been invited to a play date, and I'm having a really really hard time accepting the invitation. I don't feel the anxiety I'll suffer (and of course if we actually DO catch something) is worth it. But, I don't want to not be invited to other play dates. The mom who is holding is really nice, and we've become fast friends and she has two boys around the same age as mine. I'm at a loss as to what to do.

I also am fearing sending my kids to preschool eventually. I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so I am lucky enough to not have to deal with day-care germs. My phobia has gotten significantly worse this winter season, and I'm really hoping is subsides in the spring/summer. I've gotten to the point where I'm using wet-one's wipes to clean everything that comes into my house from the outside, especially groceries. I feel like a crazy person!



And as far as pregnancy and birth, I had mild n* with both my pregnancies, but I always had saltines with me where ever I went, and made sure I stocked up on ginger ale, popsicles, and bland foods. I didn't v* with either pregnancy. I had two non-medicated births, the last one a home birth, and neither time even made me feel n*. Part of the things I had to have on hand for my home birth was a container for v* just in case. Just the thought of that freaked me out, I didn't even have one on hand, but all was well.

[cschuler]

I am in the same boat as you. I have a 15 month old who goes to daycare...and everytime I pick her up from there I find myself CONSTANTLY asking is there a bug going around? If there ever is I always try to find a way to keep her home whether it be staying with family members or me staying home with her myself. Its like I can't stop.... I have nightmares about it. So annoying!

[ren2005]

Hi there, I am a newly pregnant mom..and so far having a good pregnancy and not feeling any hint of sickness. I am 12 weeks..I too, probably went a week where I had "aversions" to certain types of foods...but not actual n* or anything.
What I am terrified of though is...now I cannot turn back! LOL I am excited to be having a child in 7 months..but TERRIFED of when they get sick. HELP!!!
My boyfriend knows I hate germs and he is getting all nervous how I will handle it..I just told him HE will help. He is just as bad I think.
Now what do we do??
I pray my child hardly ever v*. Like me, I only did twice as a kid!! My mom was lucky with me I guess!!

[Ktina78]

This is a great thread! I am currently 39 weeks with my second baby and I have not v* this entire pregnancy, I felt n* maybe once or twice but nothing that I felt would make me sick. Plus I did the sea bands and had a prescription of zofran waiting in the wings if I needed it and I that sort of mentally calmed me down.

As far as my emet for my children, it wasn't actually bad until recently I have gotten bad. Just because everyone on FB keeps posting about their kids or themselves and the sv and that gets my anxiety in high gear. Something that I forgot about because I hadn't really worried about it. My daughter will be 2 in Marcn and she never had the sv yet. And I never had it so I, too, pray that she never gets it too. She v* a couple of times, once because she choked on a strawberry lol and the other time was because she had a cold and she was kind of phlegmy and she coughed and kind of gagged on the phlegm and that made her v*. Both times I handled it pretty well (although inside I was a wreck) but I think knowing that it wasn't the sv, helped me to not be so bad.
As excited as I am to have another baby its ALWAYS on the back of my mind that I may have to deal with the sv. And I don't know how to lose that anxiety. I find myself waking up each morning thinking "thank GOD I made it through another day with no v*" which is COMPLETELY ridiculous because I can literally count on one hand the times I have, the times my husband has, and the times my daughter has, yet it CONSUMES me.