Just having a bad couple of weeks... ever since my boyfriend got really sick 2 weeks ago, tonight... I have been feeling so anxious about the whole V* thing.
In the time we were together almost 6 years, that is the FIRST time he got so sick with it. Before that it was a year or two before he met me.
It is like he is not safe now...ya know?? It is like nothing is safe now...do you know what I mean?? I pray every night that he does not get this for many more years again.
I feel terrified every night before bed since this happened that it is going to happen again.
Also...I am pregnant.
I got pregnant unexpectedly. I am 3 months. We were planning on having children, once married with a house and all...but I didnt think it would happen like this!! I was on the pill.
For a while..I was sooo excited, as was he... but since he got sick like that..I am nothing but terrified of having a child now.
They are not sick all the time I know.. They are more healthy than sick right?? I do not want to live my life in fear that my kids will be sick.
I am thinking back to all my nieces and nephews....especially my nieces I used to live near...I can recall only like twice the times they V*.. They are now 18 and 21.
All grown up..that fast. Then I think..ooh hope time flies until they can take care of themselves if they v*. UGH...but I do not want time to fly so fast either.

If I could not be near my bf when he was so ill.....how am I supposed to help my child when they are sick??
Also...if in the future they do get sick..then it will be nothing but a chain reaction fearing HE will get sick...if he goes near it...I also know how good I clean and bleach..so I would be the one dealing with it.
I have just been so down. I hate living in this fear that he will get sick again...and now I cannot relax..because I know a year from now..I will have a baby!!
I feel so sad...
I PRAY every night that he wont get sick like that again for a long time and that my child will NOT be a V* er. Like their mom! (I only did it twice as a child).
Is there anyone out there tonight??